What Mental Filter are you wearing today?

Mental filter is a term used to describe a type of cognitive distortion that can lead people into higher levels of NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL STATE. When thinking through a mental filter, a person is generally focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out all of the positive ones.

Have you ever attended an event with someone and when you discuss it afterwards, it's as if you were at two different events?

Taking the time to understand why this happens is crucial if we want to improve the quality of our communications with other people. 

When we experience anything in life (such as a situation, conversation or event), we filter the information we're receiving and create our personal interpretation from it. In other words, we create our own unique meaning from the information that we're absorbing.

We tend to delete a lot of information (for example, when you don’t hear the traffic outside because you’re focusing on reading a book), distort and generalise through our memories, values, beliefs, and preferences.

We each have a certain number of filters that we use to let in certain parts of the 'real' world. Noam Chomsky (1957) identified four processes by which people create these filters:

1. Generalisations
2. Deletions
3. Distortions
4. Personalisations

Let's understand these four filters in greater detail as these are the ones stopping us from engaging in more meaningful conversations and living that dream life.

1) GENERALISATIONS

Have you ever been betrayed by a friend or partner? When this occurred, did you jump to the conclusion that 'true friends just don't exist' or that 'no one can actually be trusted'? Generalisations involve stating universal truths or sorting out humans into various categories: the good, the bad, the beautiful, the rich. 

Generalisations are also the mechanisms by which we generate 'beliefs', and they can be useful or dangerous for this very reason. They also produce 'phobias'. For example, if you were once bitten by a dog then it's possible you've elaborated the 'belief' that 'all dogs are dangerous'.

2) DELETIONS

You most likely agree on the fact that it is very easy to remember our credits and even easier to forget about debts? 

Our minds are excellent at avoiding the useless pains that are caused by uneasy thought. However, deletions happen for different reasons. When it is necessary to concentrate our energy on a particular task, we delete every other perception to help us focus on what we consider most crucial. Even during non-critical moments of our lives, we delete about 80% of the data that reaches our brain. 

Close your eyes for a moment and listen to the noise your neighbours are making as they enter their apartment, to the noise of the traffic on the main road, and also… to your heart beat, to the air entering your nose, now...open your eyes and take a few moments to observe all the details of the room around you.

As you've most likely noticed, we have to ignore many details in order to not be overwhelmed by an excess of information.

When an individual is anxious, they commonly develop 'tunnel vision' where they focus solely on the negative aspects of situations any delete any positive aspects. Sometimes the whole picture can be coloured by a single negative detail.

3) DISTORTIONS

"My boss didn’t say good morning to me today: he must be angry!". However, perhaps the Boss was actually feeling depressed because his wife wants a divorce.

We come up with our own interpretation of reality, and we end up distorting its meaning. When we look for meaning in events and communications with other people, we very often end up 'seeing things which do not actually exist'. 

For example, consider the countless number of conversations you've had where misunderstandings have replaced effective communication. Those conversations where you 'got the wrong end of the stick'? However, in reality, a glance or a gesture can have a thousand meanings, and it is easy to assume the wrong one.

4) PERSONALISATIONS

Another process by which people create these filters is through Personalisations. When you believe that everything others say or do is some sort of direct, personal reaction to you. Also, when you compare yourself to other people and try to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc. If you think in this way, you may see yourself as responsible for some unhealthy external event that you were not responsible for at all. 

For example: "We were late to dinner and caused the host to overcook the meal. If I had just pushed my husband to leave earlier, this wouldn’t have happened."

This mental filter can be counteracted by putting in perspective what we are in control of in this life. We certainly can't control what other people are thinking or feeling or whether they like us or not.

While we can influence some people in some ways, the only thing we have control over in life is how we choose to either react or respond to the circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in, daily!

Thanks for reading it through.

Article content credits: Kain Ramsay lectures, Skilled Helper by Gerard Egan, and my independent research and viewpoint.