What men are thinking when you show the Pregnancy Test - DADCYPHER reacts to Big KRIT'S "WEIGHED DOWN"

America, it's time I give you the raw and uncut truth about what goes through the minds of men when their woman comes out with a stick soaked in mother nature's juices. For some, it is not what you see on the commercials "Are you serious—we gonna have a baby???!!!" and gleeful Hallmark movie hugs. For some men, there is fear that pops out of the sewers of our brains like Pennywise the Clown.

Am I ready to be a Dad?

Whether you are a struggling college student, blue-collar worker, or professional, fatherhood can be the scariest hood. Especially if you grew up fatherless. How can you go to the destination of fatherhood without a GPS or even a damn compass? For my OG's, it's like going on a trip using map quest---I was always lost.

Mississippi rapper Big K.R.I.T.'s song "Generational – Weighed Down" on the 2022 Digital Roses Don't Die album speaks about the anxieties many soon-to-be fathers experience.

In the opening lines of Big K.R.I.T's hook, he raps:

Apples might fall from trees

But what if there's a chip off the old block?

(What if I pass it down?)

Here, the emcee, like many fathers, has high aspirations for their future baby or seeds to be good fruit. Even if you are a father, who is well educated and has a good job, and can leave your future child a fortune. Your biggest fear may be passing down generational curses. In fact, if you are a dad with a scarred past, having your first child may trigger a fear of passing down generational trauma. K.R.I.T's lyrics point this out:

Clouds where the sun can't reach

What if he's a chip off the old block?

(What if I pass it down?)

Highs, but the lows run deep (run deep, run deep, run deep)

What if she's a chip off the old block?

(What if I pass it down?)

As a child who endured psychological trauma, my biggest fear was to have a weak son. I faced bullying at school and home by a drug-addicted family member throughout my childhood. I remember feeling so helpless and afraid that I encouraged my oldest son to show leadership and strength by building up a wall so that no one could hurt him. After my therapy, I regret teaching my son not to express his emotions. New dads may have lived through physical, verbal, and domestic abuse, incest, and molestation, so the thoughts of having a baby may terrify them.

What if I ain't meant to be a parent?

What if I'm a lost soul, damaged?

When I became a fatherless father at 23, I was a lost soul. I drank down my fatherhood liquid courage by blending reels of the Heathcliff Huxtable (Cosby Show) and James Evan (Good Times) with a dash of Uncle Phil (Fresh Prince) into a smoothie. As my son was growing up, my biggest fear was that he would find out I was not perfect—I didn't know how to ride a bike or fix a car. I saw myself as damaged. Many new dads may feel their child may discover their vulnerabilities or insecurities. How can we as men be expected to show our weaknesses when the world has taught us to always put on our game face? Again, these are the unspoken fears many fathers face.

What if I can't slow down the throttle?

What if I can't put down the bottle?

What if I'm gone and relapsed, and my darker days come back

Here these lyrics, KRIT speaks to soon-to-be fathers who struggle with addiction. Many of these fathers fear they may pass their substance abuse or damage their kids if they relapse. As a child growing up, I witness firsthand the harmful impact drug use has on a family. I watched my grandmother struggle to give up limited cash to drug dealers to prevent a family member from receiving bodily harm. As a teen, I didn't have to listen to the DARE puppy on the back of the milk box or listen to Nancy Reagan. Living with a Crackhead gives you all the reason to "JUST SAY NO!"?However, some children of substance abusers fall in their parents' footsteps. Again, these are the silent fears many soon-to-be dads face.

?And all of our happy days don't last

…

What if our love divides, we break it off at nine

My baby holds me tight, I have to say goodbye?

Big Krit's lyrics reveal some upcoming dads' biggest fear that the romantic bond demise will negatively impact a father-child relationship. This fear is healthy, considering historically that family and child support laws have been unfair to dads, especially those of color. Many family court judges show an unfair bias towards young fathers in unwed relationships. Not to mention, some mothers see the father breaking up with them, meaning that they are breaking up with the family. Ergo, some mothers engage in maternal gatekeeping. They purposely keep the child away from the father because they feel he is too incompetent, or mothers believe they are the better parent. Again, these are the fears many soon-to-be dads have nestled in their minds.

In the climax of "Generational – Weighed Down," he expresses the questions many upcoming fathers have but are afraid to say.

You say, you say, why would I be your anchor?

And keep you weighed down?

Weighed down

Say you, you say, you say

Even if we are faithful

Sometimes love flames out, flames out

Say you, you say, you say

Why would I be your anchor? (Why would I be your-?)

And keep you weighed down? (Weighed down)

Weighed down (weighed down)

Say you, you say, you say

Here, he begs the question: If the romantic relationship does not work, do I stay for the child's sake? Many fathers ponder if the connection is not forever ever (in my Andre 3000 voice), will I be able to have a positive father-child bond.

Finally, KRIT ends the song by empowering soon-to-be dads.

There is a God our savior (there is a God our savior)

And you are greater (mm, mm), greater

Say you

The lyrics encourage new dads not to put their faith in their mortal strengths but rely on God. Suppose you are a father who is conscious of your anxieties. In that case, chances are you are hypervigilance and self-reflective enough to get the help you need to keep from passing down curses. The repetition of the "say you" in the song lyrics arguably requires these fathers to practice manifestation by speaking their greatest fatherhood hopes into existence.