What It Means to Really Listen

By Sarah A. Chase

“The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I discovered, is enormous. One is fluid, the other is rigid. One is alive, the other is stuffed. Eventually, I found a radical way of thinking about listening. Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I’m willing to let them change me, something happens between us that’s more interesting than a pair of dueling monologues.” Alan Alda, from his first book, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Alan Alda’s quote on listening can be a powerful tool for business leaders aiming to improve their company’s culture, build trust, and engage employees with intrinsic rewards. Here’s how the key elements of his quote can be applied in a business context:

1. Emphasize Authentic Listening

“The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I discovered, is enormous. One is fluid, the other is rigid. One is alive, the other is stuffed.”

Application:

?Create a Culture of Authenticity: Encourage leaders to practice genuine listening, where they focus entirely on the speaker without preconceived notions or distractions. Authentic listening fosters an environment of openness and honesty.

?Training and Development: Implement training programs that teach active listening skills. This includes body language, eye contact, and feedback that shows understanding and empathy.

?Leadership Example: As an executive, model this behavior in all your interactions. When employees see leaders truly listening, they are more likely to follow suit.

2. Foster Flexibility and Adaptability

?“Eventually, I found a radical way of thinking about listening. Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.”

Application:

?Encourage Open Dialogue: Create forums for open communication where employees feel safe to express their ideas and concerns. This can be through regular town hall meetings, anonymous feedback systems, or one-on-one sessions.

?Be Open to Change: Demonstrate a willingness to adapt based on employee input. When employees see that their feedback can lead to real change, it builds trust and engagement.

?Promote a Growth Mindset: Encourage a culture where feedback is viewed as an opportunity for growth rather than criticism. This mindset shift can lead to continuous improvement and innovation.

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3. Move Beyond Transactional Relationships

?“When I’m willing to let them change me, something happens between us that’s more interesting than a pair of dueling monologues.”

?Application:

?Build Meaningful Connections: Focus on building relationships that go beyond mere transactions. Understand employees’ motivations, aspirations, and challenges.

?Intrinsic Rewards: Recognize and reward employees in ways that align with their intrinsic motivations. This could include opportunities for professional development, recognition of achievements, and meaningful work assignments.

?Collaborative Environment: Foster a sense of partnership and collaboration. When employees feel they are part of a team working towards a common goal, it enhances their sense of purpose and engagement.

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4. Implement Practices for Continuous Improvement

?“Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.”

Application:

?Feedback Loops: Create continuous feedback loops where employees can share their thoughts regularly, and the company can iterate on policies, practices, and culture based on this feedback.

?Mentorship Programs: Establish mentorship programs where experienced leaders can guide newer employees, and in turn, learn from fresh perspectives.

?Transparent Communication: Maintain transparency in decision-making processes. When changes are made based on employee feedback, communicate these changes clearly and explain the rationale behind them.

By applying Alan's insights on real listening, business leaders can transform their business practices to create a more engaged, trusting, and motivated workforce. This shift from superficial to profound listening can lead to a more dynamic, innovative, and harmonious organizational culture.

Sarah A. Chase served as the Chief Operating Officer for Alan Alda, helping her mentor (and, of course, the world-renowned actor, writer, and director) Alan Alda, bring his proven improv and communication methods to the world through the Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University.

?She served as the Executive Producer, writer, and voice-over artist for Alan's podcast, Clear+Vivid, which has had over 25 million downloads. Sarah produced over 100 episodes with notable guests including Tom Hanks, Paul McCartney, Julie Andrews, Madeline Albright, Tina Fey, Michael J. Fox, Judge Judy, Isabella Rossellini, and many more.?