What It Means to "Fill Your Cup" and Why It’s Important

When was the last time you put yourself first? Not in a “sneak away for five minutes” kind of way, but truly prioritized your well-being? If you can’t remember, you’re not alone. Stress has a way of making you forget about your own needs—like they’re an afterthought, something to deal with when everyone else is taken care of. But let’s be honest—are you ever truly “done” taking care of everyone else?

I’ve been there. When I was at my most stressed, I was constantly on autopilot, working for everyone else, barely keeping my head above water. My days blurred together in an endless cycle of tasks, and I couldn’t see a way out. Sleep was elusive, my energy depleted, and I felt like I was invisible. Even though I was doing everything for others, I still felt alone, unseen, and like there was no one to help me.

The reality is, most people don’t need to be reminded to help others—they need permission to help themselves. We’ve been conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish. But here’s the truth: you can’t give what you don’t have. If your own energy is running on fumes, how much are you really able to give to others?

There was a time in my life when I didn’t understand that. I thought self-care was indulgent, something I didn’t have time for. I grew up in an environment where the expectation was to always be productive, always be doing. And so I ran myself into the ground. It wasn’t until I started experiencing burnout that I had to confront the hard truth: if I didn’t take care of myself, there wouldn’t be anything left to give anyone else. I had to learn to “fill my cup.”

What Does It Mean to Fill Your Cup?

"Filling your cup" means making sure your emotional, physical, and mental energy are replenished. It’s about recognizing that you’re not an endless resource, and that’s okay. When you make time for yourself, you’re giving yourself the space to recharge so that you can be there for others when they need you.

And here’s the kicker: it’s not just about taking a bubble bath or having a quiet coffee—though those things can help. It’s about being intentional with your time and your energy. Are you spending your time on things that truly matter to you? Are you nurturing yourself in ways that bring real joy and peace?

For me, it wasn’t easy. In my earlier years, I never took the time to really ask, “What do I need?” Self-care wasn’t even a concept that I could wrap my mind around, let alone practice. But after years of neglecting myself, I learned to recognize the signs. The exhaustion, the resentment, the inability to sleep because my mind was racing with everything that still needed to get done. Now, I make sure to carve out time to take care of myself, and it has made a world of difference.

The Bottom Line?

You’re allowed to take care of yourself. In fact, you need to. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When your cup is full, you can give to others from a place of abundance, not exhaustion. And trust me, they’ll notice the difference.

So, here’s the question: How are you going to start filling your cup today? What small step can you take to prioritize yourself?

If this is new for you, it’s okay. It was new for me too. But I promise you, once you start, you’ll wonder how you ever managed to go so long without it.

And don’t forget: I'll be giving a talk titled From Triggers to Triumphs: Navigating PTSD and Thriving in the Fast Lane at the WEL Conference in Valencia, Spain on 8 and 9 November. If this resonates with you, join me at the event. Feel free to contact me for more details!

Yours, Daniela