What It Means To Be An Ambivert

"Got bitten fingernails and head full of the past. And everybody's gone at last. A sweet, sweet smile that's fading fast. 'Cause everybody's gone at last."

A Balancing Act

An ambivert is a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. So, these lines of this song by Elliott Smith have always really resonated with me. My mind is peaceful when I’m alone, with no one around. I smile and am grateful for the solitude. Everyone is gone. Yet at the same time, I get lonely and want to be around others. My smile fades. I don’t want everyone to be gone.

I can get lost in my own thoughts just as easily as I can lose myself in a conversation.

It's all about balance, but because my personality doesn’t lean too far in either direction, I have a much easier time adjusting my approach to people based on the situation. I feel as though I can connect more easily, and deeply, with a wide array of people.

When an interesting topic comes up in a conversation, I'm more than happy to go into great detail about it. But then when that's done, I'm content just to sit and listen without saying another word. I have the gift of adaptability to just about any situation. I can be more outgoing in a social setting (like a networking event) or more subdued (like at an important meeting).

Those who are extroverts, tend to take bigger risks more impulsively, and those who are introverts tend to avoid any risks, with more reservation. Ambiverts, on the other hand, take more calculated risks; weighing every possible option, and potential for success or failure, and then diving in because they've either determined the chance for hazard or failure are low, or the positive outcome outweighs the negative.

But, Who Said Being An Ambivert Was Easy?

Even though I am an introvert and an extrovert, people can't always see that. I have heard several times throughout my life that I can come off rude, or shy, or aloof. I'm not; but what I am is quiet, and observant. I have also heard several times that I come off energetic, sweet, happy, and a social butterfly. I am those things, too.

It's true that I can easily adapt to any situation, but that doesn't mean that I'm always successful at it.

In a crowded environment with a lot of people and a lot of socializing that I would normally be able to adapt to with ease, my introvert side could decide to kick in at that moment and all I would want to do is go home and and lay under my blankets alone. Trust me, it's happened. More than once. When something that may be a bit risky to accomplish comes at me, instead of thinking of every angle that could happen (which actually can get quite tedious), my extrovert side kicks in and I jump into it, willing to take that risk and go that extra mile; only to be let down that I acted too impulsively.

So yes, it is a balancing act. It does come naturally to me to be able to play the field, giving me the advantages of both, but sometimes they can coincide with one another. Nothing is perfect.

Whether you are an extrovert, introvert, or a little bit of both, like me- you can achieve the qualites that make you comfortable in any situation. I may have an easier time being adaptable, but that's not to say that you can't either!

Adaptability is something that can be learned.