What Matters Most: A Simple Guide to Finding and Living Your Top Priorities

Big Picture

Our lives are often filled to the brim by personal, professional and family activities. If you are as optimistic as most people, you often self-sabotage by doing the wrong things and wonder why your life quality deteriorates despite your hard work. This is what happened to me early this year.

Why Should You Care?

Every day presents decision traps disguised as opportunities. For example, it is the end of the day, are you going home to the family, or the gym to be fit? Will you stay to catch up on work, or get a few drinks with friends. A successful life is a series of good choices. Some harmless choices can make you miserable, like what happened to me earlier this year.

Case in point

In January 2023 an additional module became available to teach. As a part time lecturer, an additional module means extra money. Who doesn't want more money these days? Not me, obviously!

By March I was overwhelmed by the demands and complaining became my favourite pastime. I hate it when people are complaining, but my complaining is totally justified.

This is where I should tell you that I reflected on my mistake and made changes. No, not me, I stubbornly soldiered on!

It took weeks of being told by Bing AI "You lead a very busy life. What is your goal with all these activities?", every time I asked it to critique my weekly reflection. Finally, on my own without help, I had this brilliant idea to drop the additional module.

I hear you want to give Bing AI credit. Nope, it was all me, clever me! And this is what I think would have helped me avoid my January mistake.

Lesson: Life's Top Priorities

1. Identify all the things you consider important (your values). I don't know about you, but my public list contains family, freedom, success, happiness etc. And my private list has things like playing my favourite songs on guitar, being right all the time, no apology etc.
2. From the long list, identify your top 5 values. Of all the important things you chose, what are your top 5? I chose family, peace, happiness, freedom and health. Where is the more money I am always chasing?
3. Now prioritise your top 5 values. That is to say, you come to the end of the day and the question is, "should I stay and finish the report (professional success) or go home to be with my teenager (family)", what would I choose? They say, "Priorities are the guiding stars in your life’s journey."

Bottom line

Knowing your top priorities does not prevent making mistakes like mine. However, it helps you make better decisions over time. What are your top 5 life priorities?

"The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones.” - Brandon Sanderson