What mask are you wearing? Let go of the role you play.
Sean Crotty, MPH, PsyD Candidate
Doctoral Candidate, Registered Psychological Associate
One year ago, I was in a guided meditation with a mentor of mine. In this meditation, I visited different versions of myself. Each version of myself that I visited would pull off a mask to show a different version of myself and the different roles I played. The more I fought against what was being shown to me in my meditation, the more it would be shown to me. These are the masks/roles I play in my life. And some of them didn’t serve me.
As I reflected on this, I asked myself a question. “Who am I being for others vs. who am I being for myself?”
An important distinction for you to know is that we are not BORN into roles. At one point in our life, for whatever reason, we adopt roles. When we adopt them, we slowly integrate them into our lives. This process can feel uncomfortable and not authentic. Over time, it becomes easier to manage and befriend the roles. We feel as if we need our roles.
A role can be conflicting. A role can feel complicated. Roles are cultural, roles are environmental, and roles are reinforced in our society. If I am not this (enter role), than what am I? We think that these roles are things we must do because we are human beings. As a human being, we can feel pressure to adopt certain roles.?
Let’s start by looking at a series of roles we can put on ourselves or others. Read through this list and see any resonate with you. (Thank you to Leo Gura for the list).
The timing of when we adopt roles differs. A study by Psychology Today showed that roles have a tendency to get adopted earlier in life when a person had a more difficult upbringing. And by contrast, those with less difficult upbringings may adopt roles later in life.
Not all roles are bad. But they’re all optional. And since they don’t always serve us well—because, for one thing, we feel an automatic pressure to reinforce them and live them—we can take off the masks if we choose.
We can begin to drop our roles by first becoming aware. To further help elaborate, here is a series of questions you can ask yourself about these roles.
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1.????Why do you need this role?
2.????What function does it serve?
3.????Could you start to let it go?
4.????What would your life look like if you did?
5.????Who would you become?
Who do you feel pressured to be? And why?
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3 年Thank you, Sean. No doubt growing up shapes HOW we are. Good, bad, and the ugly. May we be blessed with moments of clarity during our journey through life to discover WHO we are and to have the courage to shed each layer as we learn the WHY to each mask.