What Makes Your Eyes Sparkle?
I have a secret: I'm not naturally talented at small talk.
Call it an introvert thing or just a function of my upbringing, but I have had to teach myself some of the common ways to engage with people such as How was your weekend? or the alternate version, What are you up to this weekend?
You won't hear me say How are you? when I walk by someone in the hall, but rather It's good to see you. (Because if I ever ask how you are, I want to allow you the time to really discuss what's going on in your world: what's going well, where are you stuck, what is the data pointing to in the problem, and how can I encourage you?)
I was driving home from a friend's 40th Birthday party dinner with my husband when he asked me a classicly non-small-talk question: "What things make my eyes sparkle when I talk about them?" After considering the question, I gave him a few examples including discussing game theory (his game collection topples 256 titles as of publish date!).
The Husband then reciprocated the question and gave 3 examples when my eyes looked especially clear & animated:
- When digging into complex, technical issues involving data or processes - and discovering the root cause that unlocks the answer.
- When digging into complex, interpersonal issues involving tough colleagues or situations - and discovering solutions that move the situation forward.
- When describing a book I've read, business seminar, or sermon - unpacking the implications for change, growth, and increased effectiveness.
The power in this question is especially unlocked when answered not by yourself, but by others close to you. Unless you're staring into a mirror, you can't see your own eyes sparkle. Here are a few people you might consider asking this question about yourself:
- Spouse/Family Member
- Best Friend
- Boss
- Direct Report
- Business Colleague
Understanding the answers to this question will help recognize your strengths and motivators which are crucial to engagement, development, and joy.
"What things make my eyes sparkle when I talk about them?"
Takeaway #1: How can you seek out more projects doing Eye Sparkle Work?
Takeaway #2: What do your Eye Sparkle Situations say about your personal brand, and how can you incorporate this into your value statement?
Change Management | Strategic Communications | Leadership Development & Coaching
5 年Love this, Ruth! It’s a great alternative to the “what’s your passion” question - which is often a tough question for many people (and sometimes not the right question). I also really like your recommendation to gather feedback. We often think of blind spots as being negative, but they can be a way to learn more about where we shine, too! Thanks for sharing!