What makes you, you?

LinkedIn got so much better when I started to get to know the people behind the profiles better. And I’m part of a challenge to get more confident talking about myself and honestly it’s a bit of an eye opener how many ways I still manage to avoid sharing what I really think.?

Today I’ve been given 6 questions to answer, to highlight some of the things I don’t usually talk about that shape who I really am.

What’s interesting is working through all the “I can’t say that!” and “that’s just too much, no one wants to hear that” and saying it anyway. How often do you give yourself space to just express things that matter to you, without worrying if it’s too much or not enough?

1. Something you're incredibly proud of in your past career.

I requisitioned budget to create a networking event for Uni students & employers that felt like a treat for attendees. I booked the Grand Hotel in Brighton and got feedback that people showed up partly because they’d never been there before.?

A fab venue, lovely food and I forbade anyone from presenting for more than 3 minutes! (Literally unheard of in academic circles)? It went down a storm, and has since become the template. I’m so proud I put humans & enjoyment first, in an environment where that isn’t really done AND we got the results.

2. A challenge or struggle you've had to overcome in your personal life.

At 18 my parents hated my boyfriend and they told me to choose between him and financial support from them.?

To be fair, I know now they had a point even though their methods weren’t great. But OBVIOUSLY I chose him … I was 18!! I moved out, went to Uni, changed my name and broke off all contact with my family.??

I stuck at that relationship for 7 years until I realised I really could do better and I still stand by my choices, because I needed to figure this out for myself. The thing I’m most proud of is that at 25, I? reforged a relationship with my parents that was more on my terms, and all of my choices have shaped the rest of my life in ways I’m grateful for.??????

3. A hobby, interest or guilty pleasure.

I play Pikmin Bloom on my phone. It’s an AR game where you plant flowers as you walk around and you have to plant different flowers and complete missions to get rewards. I used to be a big Nintendo fan, but don’t have time for gaming and this fits into spare moments. I pretend to be texting while really I’m checking the map and my missions, hoping no one sees my phone screen! How have I got to 42 and still worried about other people’s judgments?

4. Something that makes you irrationally angry or cry like a baby.

People who dawdle in front of me or take up the whole aisle/path, especially when I’m in a shop or walking through town. I get irrationally angry about this, as if they should know I want to get past telepathically even before I’ve said anything. I’m not proud of this one, but I’ve also always managed to stop myself from willfully tripping anyone up (so far!)?

5. Something you wish you were good at but you're not.

I wish I were good at naming flavours, like when wine tasting or coffee tasting. I did olive oil tasting in Portugal this summer and I loved it, but while everyone else is talking about getting peach, or kale or toasted hazelnuts (or whatever) I’m feeling the texture or the temperature or some unnamed combination of flavours that I just like (or don’t!) I’m pretty sure it’s because I feel left out, not because I want this for myself - hence why I’ve never taken a wine tasting course or anything to help develop my palate.??

6. The career you wanted as a child.?

As a child, I wanted to be a concert pianist (I do play the piano, but I’m about 35 years behind on the practice required to get to concert level!)?

I’ve thought about this a lot since, and what leaps out at me is?

(i) being on stage was about a desire to have my achievements validated

(ii) I didn’t believe it was okay to do things I loved just because I loved them - I had to be recognised by others as really good at it for it to be worthwhile. As an adult, I'm now on a bit of a mission to help more people start with what they love and work outwards, instead of giving up on things that bring them joy, to do something other people recognise as good.

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What about you? What’s one thing about yourself you don’t share much and that not many people know? If you’re comfortable sharing, let me know in the comments :)

If you have time to answer these 6 prompts for yourself, do it and see what emerges. You don’t have to be writing for anyone else, just expressing ourselves without restriction is a great self-coaching technique and, in fact, is the spark of a new service I’m launching (more on that in another post).??

If you decide to share publicly, send me the link - I'd love to read & respond.