What makes us stay in a job longer than we should?

Since sharing my career break with people, I’ve had a handful of conversations with my fellow elder millennials about boreout and burnout. A lot of us are hitting that mid-career wall—where comfort meets frustration, and we start realizing, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Here’s what we have been holding onto that’s keeping us stuck (and what we can do about it):

1.? We Sacrifice Growth and Purpose for Work-Life Balance

For most of my 20s and early 30s, I was on a hamster wheel of 60+ hour weeks. So, when I finally found a 40-hour workweek, I thought I’d hit the corporate jackpot. I was so burned out that “work-life balance” became my new gold standard. But here’s the reality: overvaluing work-life balance can lead to undervaluing personal growth and purpose. We get comfortable, and before we know it, we’re stagnant.

Today, nearly 80% of companies offer flexible schedules. A good balance isn’t as rare as we think—it’s actually becoming the norm. So, let’s stop treating our work-life balance as a reason to settle and start seeing it as a springboard for growth. Balance and purpose can coexist.

2. Growth is Uncomfortable (But So Worth It)

They say it’s no longer a “career ladder”—it’s a jungle gym. Well, climbing the jungle gym is still exhausting. At this stage, many of us crave predictability and stability—why rock the boat? But here’s the kicker: discomfort is temporary; the pride and satisfaction of growing lasts much longer.

Remember, you only grow by stepping outside your comfort zone. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s also where the magic happens. These don't have to be big steps; they can be small - volunteer with an organization related to the industry you're trying to break into or take a short-term class or certificate program while maintaining your current job.

Let’s lean into the discomfort—it’s only temporary, and it’s the key to achieving more than we thought possible.

3. We’ve Become Risk-Averse

Once you’re mid-career, you’ve learned the hard way that big changes can come with big costs. My last career pivot? It took me 12 years to pay it off (don’t get me started on the ROI of grad school). These days, I’m a lot more careful about “high risk, high reward” moves.

But if we let fear be the primary decision-maker, we’ll only end up standing still. Playing it safe can be valuable, but if it’s holding you back from taking any leaps, it might be time to recalculate. The right risks, even small ones, keep us moving forward without pushing us over the edge.

4. The Golden Handcuffs Trap

Maybe the pay is good. Maybe you upgraded your lifestyle. And now? You’re stuck. You have people depending on you, you've got serious debt, and the paycheck feels too precious to risk. Personally, I hit a point where staying became riskier for my mental health than leaving.

Post-pandemic research found 40%?of workers who changed jobs between 2020 and 2022 accepted lower pay and benefits but reported their new job was better than their previous one.

If you’re in golden handcuffs, ask yourself: what’s your happiness worth? Sometimes taking a pay cut is the best decision, especially if it buys you freedom and new opportunities. Remember, if you built wealth once, you can do it again.

5. We Compare Ourselves to Others?

It’s easy to get caught up in comparisons when scrolling through your friends’ social media accounts, watching them buy bigger houses and vacation in overwater bungalows in the Maldives. I've gotten in the habit of temporarily unfollowing or muting my friends on my social accounts for my own sanity. Some of the best advice I ever heard? “Keep your eyes on your own paper.”

It doesn’t matter if your path doesn’t look like everyone else’s. Success isn’t one-size-fits-all, and comparing yourself will only keep you stuck. Focus on what makes you happy and fulfilled, not what other people are doing. And don't feel bad if you need to temporarily unfollow or mute your friends on your social accounts

Breaking out of these patterns isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Mid-career can be a time to redefine, realign, and take back control over where we’re headed. It’s not too late to make a change; in fact, it’s the perfect time.