What Makes Her Unstoppable?

She was beautiful. She had big green eyes and shiny brown hair. However, she didn't think so. She felt inadequate. Unfulfilled. She was in her early thirties and had her whole life ahead of her. Yet, she felt insecure, fearful and hopeless.

This is the true story of Tina (not her real name). She contacted me after she was tired of the routine. She had a career. She had a boyfriend and killer apartment with a view– but she still felt empty. 

She wasn't excited about life like a young person with those things might be. She described it as, "going through the motions", and "feeling empty". Can you relate?

Most of the women I work with say similar things. Maybe they were told to be a "good girl" and never spoke up, or they didn't learn to set boundaries– and eventually, their people-pleasing, inability to express themselves-nature catches up with them. 

Do you often find yourself tired, afraid, or full of self-doubt?

Many adult women believed life would be more interesting and fulfilling when they reached a certain age– only to discover it's not. 

They know their feelings are not ideal but that's not even the worse part. Feelings of insecurities, when left unattended, can cause you to self-sabotage your happiness and success.

How does this happen? 

It's natural to lose our self-esteem when a major life event occurs (like the loss of a friend, partner, or parent)– or when we have a decline in our health or stress at work.

However, with Tina it was none of those things.

She had it all (on the outside), yet something was missing– and that void was her deep lack of self-confidence.

One of the most basic needs we have as humans is to have a sense of purpose in life. When we don't, we are left feeling unfulfilled and our self-esteem and confidence go further down and sadness, fear, and uncertainty replace them.

That's not the end of the story however.

Tina had spent most of her life working hard to impress others– her parents, friends, and boyfriend–putting her own needs aside. She wanted to climb the corporate ladder but her inability to take ownership of her ideas at work held her back. 

Her boyfriend and apartment were both immaculate and perfect to show off to friends– however she wasn't sure if she wanted either of them anymore. Feelings of not knowing what you want and indecision are the results of years of not feeling worthy.

Do you often change your mind?

Do you have a habit of putting yourself down?

Is it hard for you to put yourself first or accept compliments from others?

One of the ways I work with women is through action-oriented confidence coaching. 

I'm a firm believer, that when we crush our self-limiting beliefs our perspectives shift and we are better able to take purposeful action towards a more fulfilling life. 

You may feel that you're not smart enough– therefore you became a people pleaser. 

You may believe that you don't deserve time for yourself– so you find yourself screaming at everyone around you because you're so exhausted.

Most of us are conditioned to believe confidence is something we are born with and that if we don't have it by now it's too late. We believe that when we are educated enough, have more money, finally get in shape, have the perfect partner, THEN we will have more confidence. This is not how it works! Confidence is a skill that we can develop at anytime. When we develop it, we then can take actions and soon realize our wildest dreams are not just unbelievably) wild anymore.

I like to teach my clients how to reframe how they think about confidence. Confidence happens after you take an action– not before. You develop even more confidence when you are ready to believe in yourself and turn those beliefs into actions. 

I can tell you first-hand that I found my confidence much later in life once I understood and applied this principle. Having been a shy wallflower for most of my life, I thought that introversion and timidity would be my predetermined destiny. However, once I learned how to reframe my self-limiting beliefs, and the right actions to take towards boosting my confidence, I discovered that I tapped into ease of living– and I'm ready to teach you how to do it too.

Have you ever felt frustrated that you know there's more to life but you're not sure how to get there?

It may not be as hard as you think to exude more confidence– and it's even easier with a good coach helping you. When you are ready to change your thinking and attract opportunities and success to you with skillful action, confidence is a by product.

Contact me to learn more about my private confidence coaching or weekly Masterminds. My work is endorsed by therapists, doctors and experts. I believe every woman deserves to live Confident, Fearless, and Safe– and you if you’ve read this far, why not take the first step and contact me for a free phone consultation to learn more?

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Dara Connolly is an award-winning speaker, author of 4 books (including Flip Your Fear), and a confidence coach. You can find her online at: https://www.DaraConnolly.com.