What Makes a Good Mentor?

When people used to ask me the difference between a coach and a mentor, I used to joke that the difference was about $500 an hour. Now, I have a different and more nuanced perspective on what it means to be both an effective coach and an effective mentor.

I define a (good) coach as someone who is able to bring the best out of you. A mentor is someone who gives you the best of themselves, whether that is their knowledge, relationships, or even motivation.

What Attributes Make a Good Mentor?

Mentors come in all shapes and sizes, so there really is no simple definition of what makes a good mentor or path to become one. Mentors can be bosses, colleagues, teachers, peers, friends, or just about anyone who has wisdom to share and the ability to get it across.

A good mentor does have certain qualities, however, especially a desire to share their skills and knowledge with others. A good mentor will get their absolute best to teach others what he/she knows, no matter where their mentee is in their career. Effective mentors are a positive influence and role model for others, and also have the ability to emotionally connect with their Mentees.

What Attributes Make a Good Coach?

There is one aspect where the best coaches are united, and that is through consistency. A good coach is consistent in the time and interest they devote to their “team”, as well as their behavior, feedback, and the suggestions they give. These coaches don’t let their own issues impact their ability to lead, they can keep these issues separate from their role as a coach. No matter what area of life you are working on improving, a coach is able to help you bring your best on a day-to-day basis. They can inspire you and motivate you as they help you progress towards your goals.

What Skills Make a Good Coach?

Just like there are myriad types of coaches, there are also a variety of skills that make them great. Some common skills of effective coaches include:

• Taking their “leader as coach” role seriously - You can’t be a good coach if you’re don’t care enough to be a leader.
• Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and self-awareness - Not only do great coaches understand what drives their team and are able to manage egos and emotions effectively, but they are also self-aware enough to admit mistakes and make adjustments to their plan.
• Preparation - A good coach prepares for each coaching opportunity with specific examples or ideas to share and discuss.
• Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of their employees or team - The best leaders maximize the strengths and can turn weaknesses into strengths by putting their team in the right positions.
• Two-way communication - Not only are good coaches able to make expectations clear to those they work with, but they also listen to others and try to understand their points of view.
• Optimistic and motivational perspective - A good coach can find the right amounts of encouragement and optimism to connect with their team when things are easy, and well as when they are hard.

What Skills Make a Good Mentor?

While there are many kinds of different mentors out there, I think there are a few core principles that separate the best mentors from the rest:

1. Have a background that’s relevant to their mentee’s pursuits or problems - While this is relatively self-explanatory, it is important for both mentors and mentees to understand.
2. Enthusiasm for Sharing That Expertise - Just as important as your mentor having the expertise is them being willing to share it with you. There must be some sort of transfer of knowledge in every mentor/mentee relationship in order for it to work.
3. A Respectful Attitude - It often takes a bit of patience to be a mentor, as it isn’t easy to do well, but having the right perspective about your mentee and their growth is key.
4. Eagerness to Invest in Others - Investing in someone takes time and effort, and those who are unable to dedicate their resources to mentoring will not do an effective job of it.