What makes difficult, difficult?

I have been fascinated by the discourse these days. Unprecedented, chaotic, adverse, unseen, unimaginable are some words people use to describe the all-engulfing environment in articles, talks, webinars, discussions, even drawing room chats.

At the end of the day, things aren't easy. What do we call that is not easy? Difficult. That's the word that rings the bell in my head. From a second grader to a CEO, we can all resonate with this word, currently.

What makes me write this piece is the realization that things have always been difficult. Can you remember one whole year when things were completely hunky-dory in all aspects of life? Not really if you think hard. So the point I am making is, handling difficulty requires the same set of principles that have worked for us over centuries.

Through this write-up, I am trying to deconstruct difficult per the different definitions that I have found. Each definition is dissected with the lens of complexity and solvability.

The objective here is to take the Cape of COVID off and think through this with a degree of rationality.

Definition 1:The state or condition of being difficult.

That's an intrinsic psychological difficulty. Part of persona/personality/nature/conditioning etc. We are constantly dealing with difficult people or playing that role ourselves in situations. Reasonability goes out of the window, and the ego takes over essentially. Or we're so trapped in our head that taking action becomes a challenge. Our assumptions win the battle and we choose to let bias govern our thought process. And on some occasions, we just want to get even.

Key question: Do we have the ability to solve it? Yes, we do. Very much. It's a part of the local locus of control. All is needed is awareness, intention and resolve. Isn't easy though. But not that difficult either.

I mean, at least you can stop being a difficult person? Try.

Definition 2: A thing that is hard to accomplish, deal with, or understand.

Ok, this one is more physical and mental, wrapped up in aspirations/ambitions. Can't really get rid of it. The very feeling propels us forward. What makes this stuff even more complicated (than it already is) is a sense of competition, one-upmanship, our love affair with both power and prestige and our need for value and meaning. (too many variables here!!!)

Key question: Do we have the ability to solve it? Yes, we do. This one's much tougher though. What's one thing that has always worked for us? Grit (passion plus perseverance). We still have huge reserves of it.

But there's one thing at the tech world is making us less of--human. Emotional agility (acknowledgement and respectful acceptance of what we're going through) is what we need more of now. Let's try to be kind to ourselves. Pat ourselves on the back when we deserve it. Cry for when we feel sorry for ourselves. (after all, tears exist for this damn purpose!)

Is it that difficult? I will leave this one for your judgement.

Definition 3: A situation that is difficult or dangerous

Ok. Centuries ago being chased by a lion was dangerous. Some hundred years ago it was being enslaved and now it's nuclear war/COVID/environment. (Add some more to the list) This is external to the individual locus of control. We're in it now.

Key question: Do we have the ability to solve it? Yes, we do. We're already exercising it. We've encountered several such grave situations every hundred years and won the war. Good news. Dissect history and this is what we find: patience and the use of active intelligence have come to our rescue. Repeatedly.

What is probably making life unbearable at this point is lack of patience. Yes, you may not like what I say. But think through. The vaccine will come eventually, the salary cuts will reverse gradually, life will come back to normal only with time. Can you do anything else except going through the period with grace and acceptance?

Each of these points suggests that difficulty has forever been part of existence. A lot of it is made by us. And this fact isn't changing. Tech or no tech. No robot/computer can solve this maze of life for us.

The point to ponder over is how much control do we have ?

How do we exercise choices to simplify difficult.

I came up with some rules for myself. See if you find something relatable. If you do, please let me know!

Be a BADASS!!!

1. Be kind. To yourself first and foremost.
2. Accept. Life isn't perfect.
3. Do. That's all we can.
4. Acknowledge. You're not going to become a robot anytime soon. Don't behave like one.
5. See things the way they are. Glorifying joy, sorrow, success, failure doesn't really help.
6. Seek support when needed. Give it when you can.