What Is The Link Between Codependency and Trauma?

Codependency is a trauma response, no matter how big or small, it can develop as a result of suppressing, repressing emotional needs in childhood. It can leave a child feeling that their own desires and needs are less important than their parent's or caregiver's needs, to the extent, that they feel their needs are not important at all. This can leave a child numbing their emotions and not feeling free, safe or secure to express themselves.

Growing up, they can feel or have been told that it is selfish or wrong to think of themselves.

This belief formed in childhood, continues to play out and in adulthood can develop into a codependent relationship. This continues the play-out of the familiar behavioural pattern, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person in the relationship and not acknowledging their own.

So, what kinds of experiences can cause a person to be codependent? If one of the parent's had an addiction such as an alcoholic, drug abuser, mental health issues or an illness. It can develop when a child experienced mental, physical or emotional abuse in childhood and learnt, as a self-defence mechanism, to hide their feelings and emotions from an abuser, (like myself).

Codependents can be drawn to these familiar roles and they become self-fulfilling prophecies by being attracted to this kind of relationship feeding their own expectations.

These experiences can leave a codependent having low self-worth, people pleasing tendencies and they can struggle to express themselves, set boundaries or share their wants and needs in a relationship.

Having awareness of this can help support the healing process and to change limited expectations of relationships to a more balanced, healthy and happier life and happier relationships.

Healing begins with awareness... allowing yourself freedom to feel your emotions...and to express yourself.

Warmly, Sarah