Are You Giving Up What Lights You Up?

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.” - Rumi

What lights you up? Where do you feel energized, that you’re in your element?

Does that get crowded out of your normal life because you're too "busy?"

Do you wait to do it until you have free time, until your responsibilities are taken care of and that never happens?

Perpetual postponement of what lights you up is a regret waiting to happen.

Pablo Picasso said, "The meaning of life is to find your gift; the purpose is to give it away."

What if what lights you up is your gift - what you're here to contribute?

What if you honored it the way it deserves? What would that look like?

Would you schedule it on your calendar - no matter what - so it doesn’t get squeezed out?

Would you realize it's not SELFISH to do this, it's part of your SERVICE?

A client said, "Sam, I agree with this in theory. However, I'm a single mom. I work Monday through Friday. Weekends are for my kids' swim team and gymnastics. I don't get enough time with my girls as it is, I can't imagine doing something just for me when that's the only extended time we get to spend together."

I told her, "I understand. It's just that giving up what lights you up and focusing solely on your girls may not be the example you want to set or the message you want to send. What you're unintentionally modeling is that moms don't have a life of their own, they're supposed to sacrifice themselves for their children."

"Wow, that's a bit harsh."

"I understand it may seem harsh, however I'm speaking from experience.

When Tom and Andrew were growing up, I was on the road a lot speaking. I promised myself that when I was home, they would be front and center.

That seemed right and fair at the time. Then I got a book deal which meant for several months, I needed Saturdays (and nights) to finish the manuscript which meant I missed some of their games.

At first I felt guilty, like I was taking time away from them.

But they had their own friends. They were the ones who told me I didn't have to be at every soccer practice and match.

As adults, they've both told me now that what I modeled for them was that moms (women) have their own needs and priorities. They knew I loved them, and were glad I had my own interests and was doing something important to me.

So, how about you?

Are you putting your creativity, skills, projects aside because you're busy taking care of every one else?

What if those people want you to do more of what you love?

What if they rather you take responsibility for your own health/happiness so they don't have to feel you're sacrificing what you care about to take care of them?

Wouldn't that be the best of both worlds?

You get to be there for loved ones while also being there for yourself?

Isn't that closer to the example we want to set - the message we want to send?

As Jack Kornfield says, "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."

Serving everyone else - and not yourself - is short-sighted.

In the long run, isn't it better to model that you can take care of others AND take care of yourself - at the same time?

Instead of giving up what lights you up - making time to do what lights you up - is a way of showing OTHERS count and so do YOU.

Doesn't that feel more balanced? More healthy? More complete?

What are you going to do this weekend - just for you?

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Excerpted from Sam's SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week book and keynote.