What life should look like after the pandemic

I interviewed someone last week who has been working as normal throughout the pandemic. He is a critical worker, in a non-healthcare setting. The pandemic has shaken the business up and caused unrest but not with the pressure and emotional strain other key services have. He is respectful of the impact of the pandemic and remarked that he feels guilty to admit that his experience has been positive. He explained that he enjoys his journey to and from work, and is less stressed with traffic and road delays. He has seen his family more, and they now eat a meal together in the evening. He has found his colleagues and customers to be more relaxed and happier. He hopes that some of these benefits continue.

It made me stop and think about my situation. Daily I rant and rave about the rule-breakers, the mask flouters, and those who act with only their interests in mind. I juggle working from home, with the children doing remote learning. I miss my friends. I miss my freedom. But what about the bigger picture?

I looked at my diary for this time last year. I was working in Chelmsford, Ipswich, Braintree, and Bury St Edmunds. I was delivering six different training courses to ten different clients. Somehow, I was also taxiing my youngest to basketball competitions, netball matches, stem club and a ballet exam. That was on top of the usual swim club, tennis club, scouts, piano, drama and dance classes.

In the evening I took the family to our local theatre for a show. I met friends for dinner twice I attended the WI Committee, the WI meeting, and a charity Board meeting.

We spent four days in London, the girls had a sleepover each with friends, both had birthday parties to go to, and we had optician, hair, and dental appointments.

Meals were batched cooked in advance and had to be served at precise times to allow the schedule to be met. Dinner would sometimes be packed sandwiches in the car. Some days the girls would only be home for 30 minutes after school in which they had to eat, get changed and get in the car to go to a sports club. Fitting in two hours of homework a night was challenging. The dog was walked by someone else. The husband had alarms on his phone to leave work to collect children from various halls and fields mid-evening. My mother was called in for reinforcements if ever my day involved the A12 or A14 as I could not guarantee when I would be back.

Over the past ten months, we have had varying degrees of freedom but have not returned to life pre-covid. I have worked from home throughout which means I am no longer out for 12 hours a day. My evening commitments have been extremely limited – instead of dinner out with friends twice a month, I think I have managed twice all year. Committee meetings and Board meetings are done over tech at the kitchen table and are shorter. At times the children have returned to about 50% of their activities but, with a shorter school day due to covid, there has been less time pressure even then.

I understand what my interviewee meant. Despite all the negative emotions that bubble away, overall, I am happier, more relaxed and calmer. The pressure of life was ridiculous. It didn’t allow for being in the moment as I was already dashing to the next commitment, either physically or mentally.

Life at the moment is not enough. The girls need to be with their peers, gaining independence and doing stuff I don’t want to know about. I need to see my friends, be with clients and travel. I am living in fear which is not healthy. But with reflection, there is an argument that would say life before covid was equally as damaging despite being socially acceptable and the norm for many. Whilst lockdown has taken us to the extreme, there must be a balance between the two.

Once this is over, I am keen not to return to life pre-covid. The challenge will be to get the balance. To cherry-pick what gives us greatest joy pre-covid, but to say no to time-fillers or activities done simply because of FOMO. To pick up the pace of life but still have time to just be.

We have all had a different experience of the pandemic. Working from home, furlough, redundancy, front line working, critical key worker, living alone, living with children, living with teenagers, caring for parents: it’s all been hard, with no one faring better. The person I interviewed who planted this seed in my mind has a very different life to me, both pre-covid and during covid, yet I understand what he means and agree. We should all reflect on the positives and start planning how we want to live when it is once more our choice.