What kind of leader do you want to become?

Last week, I had my first session with a group of leaders I’ll be coaching for the next year. To help them get in the right mindset, I took them through an exercise that centered on one question: What kind of leader do you want to become?

First, I asked the group to define the characteristics of strong leaders. We wrote them down on posters and hung them around the room. Here’s what they came up with:

Compassionate. Kind. Honest. Inspiring. Focused. Empowering. Trusting. Confident. Decisive. Passionate. Accountable. Empathetic. Proactive. Creative. Problem-solver. Clear communicator. People-developer. Strategic. Positive. Self-aware. Self-motivated. Humble. Generous. Flexible. Open-minded. Responsible. Visionary. Innovative. Relationship-driven. Learner. Question-asker. Ethical. Committed. Delegator. Executor. Loyal. Recognizes and acknowledges the hard work of others. Fair. 

After that, I asked them to think about the worst leaders they’d ever had. What made them so bad? What characteristics did those leaders possess? We hung those words around the room too:

Procrastinator. Vague communicator. “I”-focused instead of “we”-focused. Flip-flopper. People-pleaser. Results-driven, not people-driven. Controlling. Micromanaging. Disrespectful. Gossiper. Dishonest. Distrusting. Over-promiser. Conflict avoider. Egotistical. Afraid to ask for help. Insecure. Perfectionist. Not into self-growth. Bully. Always has to be right. Fear generator. Poor listener. Decision hog. Short-term thinker instead of long-term thinker. Manipulative. Vindictive. Not open to feedback. Fails to show appreciation. Plays favorites. Unavailable. Workaholic.

Then, with the traits of great leaders and no-so-great-leaders surrounding us, I asked everyone to candidly assess where they were individually as leaders. Which words described them? Did they have any of those ineffective qualities? Were they closer to being strong leaders than they thought? Which traits of strong leaders did they aspire to have?

Now that they knew where they were, what they hoped to change, and where they wanted to be, it was important to put it on paper and make it real. I instructed them to create a leadership vision for themselves by writing it as if they had already become the leader they hoped to be. For example, one person acknowledged that they procrastinate and that doing so hurts their team. So for their vision, they wrote something like: I am the kind of leader who is proactive and tackles hard things right away instead of putting them off.

Each person’s vision looked very different. Some wrote a few sentences, some penned a whole page. I asked them to read the visions aloud so they could hold each other accountable to becoming the leaders they dream of being. If they hoped to be an excellent communicator, for example, could others suggest books for them to read on communication? If they wanted to be less of a workaholic, could others make sure they take a few vacations next year?

This exercise was simple, yet powerful. But how often do we as leaders stop to reflect on where we are and where we hope to be? It can be hard to be honest with ourselves, but we must remember that leadership is a journey. There is no final destination. No matter how great of a leader you are, you can always be better—but you must make the time to get better. You have to set a vision for yourself, say it out loud, and hold yourself accountable to reaching it. And when you reach it, that means it’s time to set another vision. And then another. 

As I was facilitating the exercise, I realized it’s been a long time since I’ve set a personal vision. It’s also been a long time since I’ve asked my team to set one. In fact, I was so moved by it that I decided to make it the topic of our next leadership team meeting. 

So, I’ll ask you the same question that I’ll be answering along with my team: What kind of leader do you want to become? 

Hope this gets you thinking.

Big hugs,

Kristen

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