What kind of co-worker are you?

It feels like this month has been dragging it's heels and after a lot of serious blog subjects in a row I thought for this week I'd look at a more light-hearted subjects. So for this week I am going to share with you the 5 kinds of co-workers you find (specifically in a tech company).

The Talker

We have all found ourselves cornered by this employee, they are enthusiastic, they are passionate but more than anything they LOVE to talk. It starts innocently enough with a cordial "Hey" and before you know it you are listening to them ramble on and extol the values of technology x and the pitfalls if program y doesn't implement z immediately. You probably have no idea what they are talking about and worst of all you have no idea how to get them to stop. You've tried, turning your body away to subtly suggest you need to leave, you've tried short answers, you're complete lack of interest is lost on them and they are charging full steam ahead. Eventually you decide to pretend to go to the bathroom and hope they don't follow you.

The Geek/Gamer

They usually sit in groups (guilds/clans), they can usually be identified by their lily-white complexion (regardless of season), rings under the eyes from staying up gaming, unruly and brushed hair and generally unkempt appearance. Almost all conversations with them will involve one of the following, "CS:GO", "MOBA", "FPS", "APM", "Lag" or them comparing hardware or graphics cards. They don't attend work functions as they have a "raid" or "Lan" that evening, are never more than 2m away from a Redbull and are never seen before 09:30.

The Snob

They can usually be found walking around like a billboard for their choice of technology usually wearing an Android or an Apple shirt or some other form of memorabilia. They immediately remark on your choice of mobile device, either by lauding you as an individual of exceptional taste and character for supporting their preferred OS or by calling your moral fiber and entire world view into question for disagreeing. The worst mistake you can make is trying to defend your decision, their is no reasoning with them, the best decision is to never engage.

The Quiet (Possible Serial Killer) One

They are always sitting at their cubicle, hoodie up, headphones on and they literally never seem to disengage from their monitor, fingers constantly dancing away in a blur across the keyboard. You've worked with them for over a year and only seen them away from their desk that one time at the coffee machine and it was awkward; really, really, awkward. You've never seen them talk with anyone, not even on a phone call, oh; except that one guy from IT support who no one has seen or heard from in 6 months... They're probably lovely, but you aren't sure you can risk it.

The Hypochondriac/Sick One

There is always that one person that is constantly sick, last week was swine flu, the week before they thought they chicken pox; this week they "ate a dodgy curry" and were MIA for 3 days. You've run into them on the weekend and they always seem fine, but come Monday some deadly new strain of something has struck them down. You aren't worried because they definitely aren't contagious, you are just "sick" of carrying them in the team.

Are there any that I am forgetting? Did you perhaps recognize a little bit of yourself in any of the above? Would love to know your thoughts!