What Is the Key to Strong Relationships?

Happy Valentine's day, everyone! You've probably already heard that relationships were 50/50. I like to say that a good relationship is not 50/50, it's 100/100. Watch the video or read the following transcript to know more!

I believe that both parties need to put their 100% effort into the relationship for it to work. It takes two to tango.

Things like this happen way too often, and even though I think that comic strip is hilarious, it is quite true. What usually happens is that as we grow into our relationships, sometimes we take things for granted and we stop giving our 100%. We grow apart, because there's a lack of communication.

And I'm not just talking about love relationships. Of course, it is Valentine's day, but I'm also talking about work relationships. What happens between the first day of a new job and the hundred and first day of that same job? When you start working with your coworker or your boss at the beginning, you want them to like you and you’d do anything to earn their respect and their appreciation. Then, on the hundred and first day, you hate them. What happens in between? How do we bridge the gap?

One of the things that holds us back is language and communication. I'll give you an example. Let's say a woman puts a trash bag in the middle of the kitchen in the morning so that her husband will see it and take the trash out. She comes home from work at the end of the day, and the bag is still there. She asks her husband: "Why is the garbage bag still there?" And the husband says: "Oh, you didn't tell me to take it out!" She's very highly visual. For her, putting the bag in the middle of the room is her own way of communicating, of speaking her own language. But her husband is auditory. He needs to be told with words and won't get it with just a visual sign. You need to learn how to speak your partner’s language.

There are four big personality styles. Maybe your partner, co-worker or client is a leader. Maybe they are an influencer. Maybe they are a supporter, or maybe they are a thinker. You will need to speak very differently depending on the other person’s style. There are lots of different tools that we can consider, and the THINK Yourself? A RELATIONSHIPS PRO Online Course offers a lot of different tips on this.

LEADER

For example, when you talk to a leader, you need to use words like:

"I like it when you...

You mean a lot to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on...

I trust you because you know.

You decide!

This will be our one and only chance to...

Can you imagine in six months from now?

Can I ask you a question about...

The fact is...

You decide, because I know you know..."

This is the way that leaders like to be talked to.

INFLUENCER

Influencers like to have fun. Use words like:

 "How would you like to do that?

Wouldn't it be fun to do this?

 Let's be spontaneous and do this!

How do you feel?

What do you think about...

 I'm going to do whatever you decide.

I'm good with whatever you decide.

Having a good time...

How would you like to...

Do you want to give this a go?

I think this would be amazing!

 That would be something that you would like to do.

 I love that you do that..."

SUPPORTER

With a supporter, you need to speak with words like this:

 "This sounds like something we would love to do.

Take your time and let me know what you think.

How are you doing?

 I'm lucky to have you in my life.

Thank you for all that you do.

I would like to know how you're feeling.

What are you thinking about?

Your feelings matter to me.

That would really be great.

Let's figure this out."

THINKER

If they’re a thinker, you would ask them:

"If you could help me understand...

 I need you for something.

 What would you like to do today?

Let’s think this through.

Let's plan dinner together at 7:00 PM and spend the rest of the evening together."

Give them details. Thinkers love details. They like for things to make sense.

Knowing who is in your life and what your own style is can be very useful in maintaining a good relationship. It's great to be with somebody that is not necessarily the same dominant style as you are, but has a style that is complimentary to yours. If you want to know what style you are, go check out the test. It's a free online test! Find out what your style is, and then you can ask your partner to also do the test. Go to https://www.thinkyourself.com/style-list .

Let's remember: At the end of the day, we need to know how to communicate, because people are not perfect. I love the following comic strip.

The same thing applies to women; nobody is perfect, but if we learn how to communicate with the people around us, then we can connect and give our 100% to our relationships. Have a fantastic Valentine's day, everyone, and I'll see you next week!