WHAT TO KEEP, WHAT TO THROW: A RETIREMENT REFLECTION

My retirement experience has been better than I would ever have imagined, including up to a year ago, when the requirement to “let go” seemed daunting and maybe not even possible. By the time I announced to the company in December that I was retiring, I had indeed accomplished the task of psychologically letting go.

             Since then, I have had a lot of space to reflect on my career, and I have also had opportunities to share those reflections with employees, family, and friends – the space to reflect, and the emotional ability to embrace reality (meaning accepting the good and the bad, as well as affirming myself instead of dwelling on regrets) have been gifts.

             A nice moment of reflection happened a few Saturdays ago. I was cleaning out my office, making way for my son. I truly despise packing up, but I was making room for my son to occupy the office that my dad and I occupied, even as my son-in-law now occupies the other office that I sat in for most of my career. Those spaces, and the people now in them, are a source of pride for me (I built the company to the place it is now) and also a source of great hope, as I see Andy and Reid taking the company to a place I could have not taken it.

             As I walked through the building by myself, back and forth to the dumpster, feeling the history, knowing each square inch, I realized I was throwing out a lot of stuff that I had hung on to for forty years. Financial records; folders with old ideas in them; minutia related to important transactions; even notes of congratulation, and mementos of achievements – these were all important to me for a long time, but not now. And, of course, they would be even less important to someone else throwing them out if I were to just stuff them in a corner somewhere and ignore them.

             I realized I was making decisions about what mattered to me, by deciding what to keep and what to throw out. I was throwing out a lot of “stuff” - I was keeping important memories, which were creating a sense of gratitude and hope that was sweet to experience.

             What to keep, and what to throw – this wasn’t just important for me on this Saturday. I realized I was doing this throughout the process of letting go over the last year. And maybe, deciding what to keep and what to throw is important for you, right now.

             In our company, we talk a lot about results and relationships. We measure results – financial performance and service excellence – even as we consider our culture to be perhaps our most important priority. When we do our jobs well, and the company is profitable as a result, we understand that profit is used to reward our people, invest in our people, and give back to our community. So, really, it’s all about relationships – even the results are achieved to allow us to deepen our relationships.

             I will keep the memories of all the relationships that have shaped me and those where I had the blessing to shape others. As I have been reflecting on what to keep and what to throw, I decided to make a list. Under “KEEP,” I found myself creating a gratitude list. That list was populated by names of people who impacted me and supported me – people I needed, people I counted on. And, in an effort to affirm myself (which my therapist and coach continually encourage me to do!), I listed the abilities and character traits that God gave me to have an impact on others.

             I will keep what’s best in life, and to quote author Drew Hunter, “If you ask me what’s best in life, I’m going to give you names.”

             I also made a list of what to “THROW.” This list was much shorter – I didn’t even list the accomplishment stuff, being pretty sure I’ve let that go. But for me, in search of peace, joy and contentment, the THROW list included two categories – resentments and regrets.

             Sure, I have felt taken advantage of, lied to, stolen from, and yes, I have carried resentments in these instances for too long. Again, this list was short, but it has been important to throw out those resentments. The longer list would be the list of regrets – bad decisions, decisions made too slowly, not understanding the value of accountability, how could I be so stubborn, how could I be so blind? Throwing out these regrets has taken me about five years, but now they are taking up less and less head space.

             I am reflecting on this at age 67, at the end of my career. But I share this for anyone, at any life stage, because the exercise of keeping what matters and throwing out what doesn’t may just help you, right now, to experience peace, joy and contentment. And, knowing that what matters will be relationships, you will not only keep them, but invest in them, leaving an impact that will be remembered. That has been my experience and I am grateful for it.