What about judgment?
(I first posted this about a year ago and make no apology for offering it to people again. Doing so - and reading people's comments - is an important reminder for me of many things. I hope that it's also of some use to people who haven't seen it before)
They were the finest person I ever knew.
They gave their time to help everyone.
They put others first every day.
They loved and were loved.
And I’ll never meet anyone finer
They were the worst person I ever knew.
Proud, selfish and cowardly in all they did.
Dragging others down to their level.
They hated and were hated
And I’ll not come across anyone worse
At least…
These are the words I’d write
If I look at their actions
But if I stop judging men and women
On their actions and words
What would I write then?
Perhaps this fine person, so wonderful
Was born with such gifts
And lived in a world
That supported them so well
That they could have done even more
And that they achieved just a little
Of what might have been
Perhaps this terrible person, so awful
Was born with such a broken and wretched mind
And lived in a world so dark
That their few small efforts at holding back
From acts of worse darkness
Meant that they had risen to a great victory
And achieved more than could have been hoped for
I cannot judge people – only their actions
Those who like me can call me ‘good’
But they talk of my actions not me
Others can call me worse names
And still they speak only of what I do
But if even I cannot judge myself
Then do not judge me, nor others
We cannot judge people – only their actions
I help entrepreneurs, founders, SME execs unlock their hidden Superpowers so they achieve their ideal life.
8 年Hey Mark - as always - great, thought-provoking post. I've been out of the loop for while - a pleasure to start reading your posts again. No doubt actions speak louder than words. And yet - sometimes I really hope people don't judge me on one single action. I see myself as having character and integrity - generally - I say generally because, frankly, I do some stupid, disingenuous and downright inconsiderate things at times - it's not actually my "intent" to do that - but I do - usually without thinking (or more specifically, thinking about my needs and not the needs of others) - hopefully these actions are in the minority. If someone only saw those actions, they would not think highly of me. It helps me in evaluating other people if I am able to look at their patterns of behaviour, not just a single or discrete event, and judge them on the pattern. That can be difficult when one has very little interaction with a person, so I try to keep in mind something Steven Covey wrote - "the map is not the territory". What we are seeing - "the map" - is a poor proximity for the territory it is describing. When you actually see the territory, it is much more subtle and nuanced, with more depth and breadth. There are those who would advocate we live our lives without judgement - and while the principle sounds noble, I have not been able to figure out how to do it - or if it is even possible in our current human existence. And all that said, we as human are still saddled with the Fundamental Attribution Error readings that Deb Helfrich referenced. Quoting Piglet from A.A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh "The things that make me different are the things that make me ME". As is often the case for me - another long and rambling post. Have a great day everyone.
Senior Geologist at MiningOne
8 年Greetings Mark. On the basis of having served for some years as a prison chaplain, I fully concur with and applaud your wisdom. If only our typically prejudicial society could reflect more fully on it.
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8 年This post is well worth the rerun. Thank you, Mark M-G