What About Joy?
Jimm Hughey, M.S.
CONSCIOUS MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP COACH, GPC, Certified Behavioral Communications & Values Analyst, Licensed Healthcare Professional, Philosophical Artist
There I was with my emotions backed to the wall, tired, frazzled, and defensive.
This is when the director in me called CUT!
Who is this other human that can captivate and drive me crazy simultaneously? Was she put here to torture me?
Okay, I admit she is beautiful, and she is still beautiful in her late somethings. She was always fierce and determined, with a strong will. She always knew what she wanted and, more importantly, what she did?not?want. Fortunately for me, I turned out to be one of her wants.
As well as I know this woman, having a ‘relationship’ conversation with her is like asking her to give me her right arm. She stares at me like a deer in a headlight or I am a creature from another planet. She does not do ‘relationship’ conversations.
That may be because I have been approaching this wrong. After twenty-two years of marriage, you would think I would know better, but I am a slow learner. If there is something I need to discuss, I start discussing it.
Wrong! What works for me is a big no-no for her. She must cuddle up to anything that might be a problem. She needs to prepare, organize her thoughts, and figure out how she feels about it first.
Fortunately, I am learning. Did I tell you I am a slow learner??
We need serious conversations but don’t need to make the climate serious.
As much as this sounds like a conundrum, it is not. Serious topics can be discussed in a light-hearted, winning manner. It is not like all ‘problems’ between couples are life and death—almost none of them are.
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Differences are simply that. Two views. You have your view, and I have mine. Of course, I like mine better, but when was the last time that mine, or yours, were cast in stone? They never were! Even if we have rocks in our heads!
All we need to agree upon is how we approach a serious conversation, obtain consent, and establish boundaries.
Oh, and the hard part is to HONOR THEM!
Jimm Hughey, M.S. Conscious Marriage and Relationship Coach
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Inpatient Pharmacy Operations at St. Luke's Health System
5 个月Another great read! Thanks Jimm for sharing. Marriage is more about meeting in the middle then always being the winner, a true partnership of endless possibilities.