What I've Learned as a Working Parent

Today is my son’s 10th birthday. Ten years ago today, my husband and I became parents and as it is for all parents, life was never the same for us again. 

At about the time he was launched into the world, my career also seemed to really take off.  I’d like to say I planned it that way, but it just seemed to happen.  I often wonder whether it’s because of being a working parent or in spite of being a working parent?  It has included two major cross-country family moves due to career opportunities, a number of promotions, meeting and connecting with thousands of colleagues and customers around the world, and learning so much. 

I’ve learned a significant amount about what it takes to be a strong leader. I’ve learned how to get things done in organizations that are large and small. I’ve learned how to hire a lot of great people and I’ve also had to learn how to move great people out of the organization.  I’ve learned to listen. I’ve learned that all challenges can be overcome with patience, perseverance, hard work, and just not giving up. I’ve learned that more brains thinking about a solution are much better than one. I’ve learned that people on the front-lines of my organization have the clearest view of what’s really going on. I’ve learned to block my calendar between 5:00 pm and 8:00 pm every day so I can have dinner with and spend time with my family. I’ve learned that in all things, I need to aim to have a positive attitude. And I’ve learned that I have more to learn.

I’ve learned so much at work, but I’ve learned so much more from my son (and daughter). I’ve learned that that work-life balance does not exist, rather that living and working is all integrated into one experience – a messy, chaotic experience at times.  I’ve learned much more about high-functioning autism and ADHD, and the daily challenges my son and all the rest of us who are with him go through every day as a result.  I’ve learned that I’m terrible at video games, but my son keeps inviting me to play, just to watch the silly things that I do. I’ve learned that taking interest in his interests is the best way to demonstrate love.  I’ve learned that I have more patience than I thought I could ever have.  I’ve learned that my son knows many more facts than I do and he’s always right about those facts, due to his voracious reading and remarkable memory.  I’ve learned to see technology through his eyes, that he can’t imagine life without it. I’ve learned that I can be super cool when I show him videos about IBM Artificial Intelligence and Quantum computing.  I’ve learned that good parenting is a very long-term investment.  I’ve learned that my favorite moment of the day is when he and his sister are excited to see me when I come home from work. I’ve learned how to schedule my time so I’m there during the really important times…like deciding to work from home today so I can greet him in the morning with pancakes and spend more time with him this evening celebrating his 10th birthday.  And most importantly, I’ve learned the importance of being grateful every day.