'What If' it's not you in control of your mind?

Has any of the following happened to you too?

• Ever entered into a shop with absolute clarity of not purchasing anything, but you still did?
• Ever decided to remain calm, only to find yourself fuming just a few minutes later??
• Ever been certain about saying NO, but you said YES instead?

This isn’t your story alone. This is the reality for all of us, and our momentary lapses to the stories that our mind cooks up to entice us into behaving completely irrational, and stupid at times.?

If you still think that you’re in control of your mind, then let me break the bad news to you. Most of the time, you’re not.?

You aren’t, at least not as much as you’d like to believe.

You may have a story that sounds coherent and logical e.g. you bought this because of that, or you said this because of that, or some version of this because of that. And it’s the story that gives you comfort about your rationality and your span of control. It might give you the added pleasure of feeling smart for swinging a good bargain or making a good decision. But is that the truth?

So let’s test the hypothesis that “your mind is bad at making up stories”. If the hypothesis is proved null and void, then you could boldly state that you are rational and wise. If not, then you seriously have to consider the possibility that your mind is a meaning-making machine, rationalizing everything going on around you. To test this hypothesis, I will provide you 2 words as follows -

AVOCADO

and

BLENDER

If you are into fitness or nutrition, then the chances are that your mind would have imagined a big glass of avocado shake with almond milk, chia seeds, berries, cinnamon, and whey protein in it. I could see myself sitting in a healthy cafe with plants all around, and me sipping this delicious avocado shake.

I just needed these 2 words to start a mental trip of visualizing this healthy treat. Everything else was concocted by my mind in a flash of a second. The magic isn’t in the imagination alone, but the subsequent feeling of pleasure that I would derive from tasting this yummy milkshake. I could taste it in the recesses of my mind and I was happy doing so. It’s not even real, but it is happening so fast, that it feels real.

And all that I was given were 2 words i.e. Avocado and Blender. Our mind indeed is a pro at cooking delicious stories, or dreadful ones, at the sight of foods you don’t like.?

Donations

Let’s test the same hypothesis through another social experiment conducted in a rigged setting in a British University. Imagine there is a donation box and the only thing next to this marked box is a picture of either a pair of eyes or a flower. Would this alter the amounts significantly? Would a picture have any influence on people?

You’ll be surprised to know that every time a picture of eyes was paired with the donation box, the donations went up. And every time there was a picture of flowers, the donation amounts reverted to the baseline.?

Just think about this. What does a pair of eyes trigger within us all?

• Does it tap into our guilt, making us donate something for those who aren’t as privileged as we are?
• Does it tap into the subservient nature of ours, that makes us comply with people of authority?
• Does it tap into the fear in us all of being held accountable for our misdeeds or for hoarding resources for personal benefit alone?

What could it possibly be? It’s just a pair of eyes.

Yes it is. But you’re mind doesn’t see it that way. It only sees the pair of eyes and starts imagining things, starts cooking stories, starts making connections, which bring up emotions, which then lead to actions, which later make you think ‘What just happened?’.

Priming

In Psychology, this concept is referred to as Priming, or, the priming effect. It occurs ‘when an individual’s exposure to a certain stimulus influences their response to a subsequent prompt, without any awareness of the connection. These stimuli are often related to words or images that people see during their day-to-day lives.’ - Source: Decision Lab

What’s most fascinating about this subject is this part from the above definition ‘without any awareness of the connection’. It’s so subtle and automatic, that it slips through your attention almost always.?

There has been a lot of work done by researchers on this subject and the findings have been very intriguing. Let me share a few -?

• People who were exposed to words related to aging/illness were found to be walking slower than their normal pace
• People exposed to images of money were found to act selfishly, ignoring people needing help, and not stopping while on the move to their next act/task
• People asked to unscramble sentences related to aggression were found to be frustrated with delays, whereas those exposed to sentences related to positivity had a higher tolerance for delays
• A bakery leaving the door open succeeds at pulling people in and give in to their temptations of guzzling the delicious fresh oven-baked goodies

I will have to reject the hypothesis that “your mind is bad at making up stories”. Your mind is actually damn good at this endeavor. And we don’t have to worry about this as we can use this strategically for our benefit.

If stimuli around us do have a subconscious bearing on our choices/actions, then it’s absolutely essential to surround ourselves with text/images/videos that hint at being wiser, stronger, and/or wealthier. If you drop the ball on this and let your environment be decided by others, then the odds of being exposed to negative stimuli are very high. And that is a sure-shot path to feeling miserable and helpless, about yourself and/or the world, irrespective of your accomplishments and accolades.?

That isn’t a healthy way to survive. Where is the joy in being exposed to nonstop news coverage of wars and deaths, where is the fun in hanging out with people harboring toxic thoughts, what is the purpose of spending every waking hour making more money or beating the competition??

But you still see people live this way, and my wish for them is that they figure out soon enough that they are being toyed around, unconsciously walking into the hands of tricksters, fraudsters, fearmongers, or marketers selling their silverware.

What I would rather focus on is creating an environment that goes a long way in creating a memorable life filled with abundance, beautiful relationships, a healthier lifespan, and lots of mental stimulation that keeps me young and active.?

Let me share with you a few stimuli that I have placed around me that work on my psyche for attaining these desired objectives. It’s all happening unconsciously or subconsciously. I just happen to write about this subject consciously today, inspired by a specific chapter on the ideomotor effect in Daniel Kahnemann’s book ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow ’.

Library

The books in my office and at my home have been my guardian angels and the list below is a set of learnings that I keep being reminded of when I see these books, read the titles, and remember the lessons in there. These are a goldmine and have kept me on my toes in good times, kept me sane in the worst of times, and helped me make better choices throughout my life.?

• Get stronger
• Make time for family
• Have low expectations
• Spend less than my income
• Read voraciously and keep learning
• Avoid leverage, liquor, and other vices (inspired by many stories in these ??)

Painting

The painting in my house reminds me of the lessons learned from my role models whom I look up to, whose lives I have followed since my teens, whom I would like to emulate in as many ways as possible and avoid the mistakes that they committed. A few of the lessons learned and constantly reminded of are listed below -

• Dream Big
• Make the most of your time
• Take others along on the journey
• Cut losses and ride long on the +ve bets
• Everything is a bet with no certainty. Anyone promising certainty is lying

Figurine

This figurine is of a Yehuda and Maya and it’s always on my table. I could relate to the joy expressed on their faces and hence bought it on the day of the launch. It reminds me of all the good times Usha and I had since we started going around in 2008 and it also makes me look forward to all the chapters to be explored in times to come. The sight of this alone makes me happy and it serves as a reminder of the following intentions -

• To have a blast?
• To make memories
• To make this partnership special

Standing Desk

The standing desk at my workstation serves as a reminder for -

• Be healthy always?
• Stand more than sitting
• Walk more than 10,000 steps daily

The morning workouts or walks at the beach serve as a reminder for -?

• Gotto be strong enough to live till 100+
• Got be filled with vitality to enjoy life and be of service to others
• I too will be doing brisk walks, playing tennis, or cycling in the Alps in my 70s

Deck of Cards

This deck serves as a reminder to forge ahead and have faith in things falling into place.

There are many more objects that I have placed around my house and office that constantly play on my mind, influencing my choices/actions, and steering me in a meaningful direction on a daily basis. I make mistakes and do give in to temptations or become lazy at times, but these reminders nudge me into action eventually and ensure that I bounce back quickly.

All of these have a huge effect on my persona, happiness, and energy levels? - in short on my spirits. And if I am high-spirited, I perform better, I pack more in my 16-hour waking day, I am effective in my endeavors, and I love my life. In the absence of it, I’m a train wreck in the making.

The more I get to read and understand these phenomena, the more I would like to strategically build an environment that supports an abundant experience of life instead of a life filled with fear and scarcity. And building this very environment that supports that kind of life is in my hands.

I’ve done a decent job to date, hopefully. And I’m still looking for corners and bends at work/home that I could make use of. I invite you to do the same.

One life is all we’ve got, and fear and anxiety are party poopers that you don’t want around you. So let’s fill our surroundings with positivity and vitality and let these nudge us into the direction of our goals and happiness.

One life is all we’ve got.