What it's like to be Medicated as an Adult with ADHD

In May 2022 I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, after years of misdiagnosis and a constant cycle of depression. I had always found a natural dopamine hit from the dynamic role of policing.

I thrive from running around, like I always had as a child, my mind always on the go and unable to settle. Chasing criminals had given me the dopamine my brain needed to function, the extra boost of chemicals allowed my brain to get things done. That's why police officers with ADHD can make decisions accurately and quickly, the neurotransmitters in their brains fire up in fight-or-fight situations making their brains feel alive.

In March 2020 when I had surgeries and the pandemic hit, my destructive ADHD symptoms took over. My impulsiveness drove me to spend money that I did not have, causing debt and financial problems. I turned to alcohol to find that temporary lull that a few drinks would give me, a temporary dopamine hit followed by depression. My relationships suffered, as they had done throughout my adult life. With all the intention in the world, I would procrastinate and struggle to complete the simplest of tasks, leaving lots of unfinished ones. My girlfriend would say to me “are you having a moment?” when I would run around my flat starting lots of jobs but finishing none, the evidence was the multiple cupboards left open. My engine was running fast but I couldn’t get into first gear. I lost interest in anything that I did not care about, looking for the next stimulating thing. And repeat. At my lowest, I was taken down from the cliff at Beachy Head by Sussex Police and driven home in the early morning by my friends, being suicidal is a place that I had been regularly in the past. I recognised that these behaviours had been present my whole life, they had been causing destruction for as long as I could remember. I was determined to find the reason why and it became clearer after speaking to my Uncle. I was living the same life as he had been, the same behaviours, and he regularly drinks alcohol. I could see myself easily going down that route if I did not discover what was going on. Prepared with questionnaires that myself and my family had completed, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed medication. Things had started to make sense that I had repetitively done all my life.

The process of introducing medication to your system is called the “titration process” which is trial and error with medications as everyone reacts differently. I take Lisdexamfetamine which is an amphetamine that should be declared to the job through occupational health. You will need to have a medical history check with the Doctor before it is issued, including a blood pressure and weight check. Stimulant medication affected my weight a little as my appetite was suppressed by it, it also made my mouth dry so I needed to drink much more water than normal.

I tried Methylphenidate before my current medication and whilst I benefitted from it, the crashes were quite severe which outweighed the positives. I take one tablet each day and when it starts to work the constant battle of the thoughts in my mind settles, and my brain becomes calm.

When I first took ADHD medication, it was an incredible feeling that is difficult to describe. It is euphoric, and I instantly felt different. I had never felt like I was feeling in my whole life, my brain had the dopamine had always lacked. I felt positive and I was present in the room, I could focus and complete tasks much easier. I was able to pick what I need to do first, a picture frame that had been sitting on the floor for 6 months was finally put on the wall. I almost stopped craving alcohol overnight and I stopped engaging in destructive behaviours like binge eating and impulsive spending. With one tablet I stopped desperately craving dopamine, and my life slowed down so I could live with ADHD and not fight it. This got me thinking about how such a small tablet can transform someone’s mind so much, and more importantly how it can help others’ lives. Medication has been a game changer for me and I am grateful that I am now able to access it. I can now start to work with ADHD as opposed to working against it like I have all of my life. I’ve completed my titration process now and I now have a shared care agreement in place with my GP to continue to issue prescriptions.

If you are seeking more information about a potential diagnosis then follow this pathway - https://adhduk.co.uk/diagnosis-pathways/

The ADHD Alliance is a support network of staff and officers either living with ADHD, who know and care about someone with ADHD or who simply would like to get involved and understand ADHD. We're just about to launch the National ADHD Alliance which you can pre-register to be part of here - https://adhdalliance.co.uk. This will be available to all emergency services!

I’m happy to answer any questions about ADHD or medication for it in the comments.