What if it's not ADHD?

What if you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

And what if you are an HSP who also has Complex PTSD?

Being an HSP (or SPS as it is also called now) is a misunderstood superpower and as, just this week alone, I have had two more conversations with HSPs being diagnosed with ADHD, I have decided to speak up using research from my memoir and other experts.

Sensory Processing Sensitivity

In 2011, I was introduced to the work of Dr Aron, and suddenly felt seen!

Dr Elaine Aron has been studying this since 1991, and says, 'The highly sensitive person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in their surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment. But the key quality is that, compared to the 80% without the trait, they process everything around them much more—reflect on it, elaborate on it, make associations. When this processing is not fully conscious, it surfaces as intuition. This represents a survival strategy found in many [100!] species, always in a minority of its members.'

Quoting & citing sources from my memoir, The Damage of Words.

Even though it is found in between 1 in 5 and 1 in 6 people, there needs to be more awareness of the differently wired neurological system of people with sensory processing sensitivity.

This lack of awareness leads to something I call sensitivity shaming: the gaslighting from people who don’t believe me. Though people can agree that not everyone can wiggle their ears, curl or roll their tongue, etc., many are unwilling to believe that I have heightened senses. So, some facts:

• HSPs have a different neurological makeup from birth.
• It is not a condition, a disorder, or a diagnosis; it is a neural trait that evolved in circa 20% of the human population and 100 other species.
• Not all HSPs are empaths.
• Though extremely rare, it is possible to be born with high sensitivity and be a narcissist. My mother, for example, has easily overwhelmed senses and NPD.
• HSPs are often called ‘too sensitive’ and told to ‘lighten or toughen up’.
• Biologists believe it is an evolutionary advantage and that three separate sets of genes may play a role - The "Sensitive" Gene (Serotonin Transporter), The Dopamine Genes, and The "Emotional Vividness" Gene (related to norepinephrine) - and different highly sensitive people may have some or all of them.
• Famous artists with HSP include Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Beals, Frances McDormand, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Chastain, and many more.

If this sounds familiar, take the HSP test on Dr Elaine Aron’s website or consider reading her book, Highly Sensitive Person, The: How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You.?

Life as a HSP

Sadly, I often feel defensive when I say I have high sensitivity because I know so often people immediately think I mean super sensitive, which is usually wielded as an insult. HSPs have senses - sight, smell, sound, touch and taste - that function at a higher level than someone deemed neurotypical.??

I notice everything, and because I absorb subtleties and process information deeply, I am conscious of the bigger picture. So, when the builders working next door park their van, and I can see that it creates a hassle for other people, they get snapped at, though later, I wish I hadn’t as I sheepishly park my car. When I walk Banjo, I pick up glass bottles before they smash and cut any paws. Considering others, I will never place his poo bag in a bin at a bus stop. And so on.

I also experience life vividly, which can be overwhelming. So, I block my nose while walking through Duty-Free at the airport because the perfumes give me a headache. I can smell cigarette smoke from people on the footpath up here on the 5th floor. I’ll go down the same five flights to pick up an empty can that is rolling in the wind because the sound is bugging me. It is feeling relieved when music is turned down or white noise is turned off because the ceiling seems higher. Sounds like the clicking keyboard on phones makes me want to scream.?

But my high sensitivity is still a gift, and I use it, in particular, to deliver better work.

Sensitivity and stressful childhood

Gabor Mate knows what he is talking about! There is not a gene for ADHD, therefore it is not inherited, nor is it a disease. What is genetic is sensitivity. He ends this clip below with:

• "Take the medication [if it helps] but go to work on the trauma and stressors that are driving the ADHD going back to your childhood!"
• "Your life can be so much fuller and so much less stressed if you deal with the underlying factors than if you simply medicate the symptoms."
• "I can assure you your friend had a stressed early few years. His parents were stressed."

Complex PTSD

In my experience, people become defensive when speaking about their parents' potential failings. I know they did their best, possibly while carrying their own stuff, but it doesn't mean that they haven't created emotional neglect or trauma in you that could be healed.

Back to my two HSP friends, to say their childhoods were stressful is an understatement; one through parentification, and the other through emotional neglect and verbal abuse. I suspect they may both have Complex PTSD from generational trauma.

Quoting & citing sources from my memoir, The Damage of Words, again.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is caused by multiple, long-lasting, repeated or continuous traumas, and it usually develops in childhood but can form at any time. The British charity, PTSD UK, explains that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and C-PTSD have very similar symptoms. However, the latter has three additional categories of symptoms: difficulties with emotional regulation, an impaired sense of self-worth, and interpersonal problems.

Psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera shared a Reel on Instagram [the clip below] that stopped me in my tracks. The ‘signs your body shows with complex trauma: startles easily, constant fidgeting (sympathetic overload), chronic procrastination (freeze state), concentration issues, dissociation or derealization (disconnection from your body), and constant rocking or rubbing (attempts to self-soothe).’ I once displayed most of these.?

In the comments, Nicole was asked, ‘Do many confuse these symptoms and get wrongfully diagnosed with Autism/ADHD?’ and she promptly replied, ‘Yes, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (or response which is more fitting) is not widely recognised and is most often diagnosed as ADHD.’ That makes me wonder how many people are taking medications they don’t need or thinking they have permanent conditions they could move on from.

Cope or thrive?

Before healing my Complex PTSD - which was created by being born an HSP and raised by a covert narcissist known for explosions of temper, controlling through fear, abuse and gaslighting, and someone I could never please - I could easily have been diagnosed with ADHD, medicated, and be coping with life.

Instead and thankfully, ADHD was less on-trend in 2011 when I started working with Michelle Zelli. We slowly peeled back the layers to heal my core wound, reconnected me to my inner child so I could give her all the love, kindness and compassion lacking in my childhood, and I shifted from coping with life to thriving!

Does my HSP annoy me sometimes? Sure! Having lunch with another HSP recently - she pips me on noise sensitivity; mine pips her on smell sensitivity - at the same time we both said, 'Let's move!' when they seated a mother with overpowering perfume and loud children right next to us!

But, I wouldn't trade its gift for the world! Life is vivid and creative, I feel the feels, and it gives me deep empathy. I have learned to energetically ground and protect and to use this superpower in my work.

Today, I thrive and if this article convinces one more person to heal and thrive with me, I will be very happy.

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