What isn’t on the Resume – Travel Blog 3

It has almost been six weeks since the ‘event’ that dramatically shifted my life and career trajectory and while I would like to say I am on the other side and one of those who claim that losing a beloved job is somehow the best thing that ever happened to them, I am not there yet.?What I can say it that it has been been transformative and has refined and elevated my true nature and values.?For now that needs to be enough, I guess.

One of the things we, as humans, tend to do in tremendous times of stress is to embrace daily exercises and rituals to bring structure and order.?Gratitude journals, exercise routines, therapy, meditation and/or medications when running and journalling isn’t enough.?Those who know me, know that I am averse to the “practice of gratitude.”?The kind of practice that shows up in women’s magazines.??For me gratitude is an organic feeling that comes upon me like the warmth of the sun and not something to be forced.?Instead, I like to embrace the practice of noticing, or awareness.

It has now been six weeks since I have had a formal role in work and have been searching for my next adventure. ?I am aware that while I am feeling a bit down and up late at night writing because sleep escapes me, I AM fortunate to have a series of interviews.?I liken these interviews, outside of the ones ?with friends and colleagues who know and respect me, to speed dating.?To be clear, I have never actually been on a real romantic quest for partner-dom speed dating extravaganza, but for the workaholic corporette, the interviewing process is likely as close as it is going to get.

In the past three weeks, I have met with a team of doctors, goo gobs of board members, recruiters from three organizations, and received a few calls from people I didn’t know, but who heard I was in the wind and searching. ?Each one of these processes is unique.?For one, I sat at a long board table with a plastic cup of water while five different physicians rotated in for twenty-to-thirty-minute slots.?In these twenty minutes, the objective was to determine if first they believed I was a qualified and apt candidate, and for me to demonstrate my professional acumen and determine if this could be a fit. ??Employer and candidate seated on opposing sides of the table, posturing, using professional and appropriate words and questions, but essentially engaging in the same dance as two dogs sniffing each other on the bike path, trying in short order to sum up the whole of the person who sits in front of them. ?In each of these interviews, I retell my story, again and again, and again.

For those who work in healthcare or helping professions, there is a concept called trauma informed care.?One of the tenets of offering trauma informed services is to minimize the times a patient or client needs to recount their story of whatever happened to them as each time it can be triggering and re-traumatizing.?I now know beyond an academic understanding what this means.?Each time I tell the story, trying to be professional, yet honest about what happened, I remember new details and gain deeper understanding about the why behind my loss.?And it is painful and hard each and every time.

However, the telling of this tale, and indeed this entire experience, has broken me open and left me in a situation where I have no choice nor desire to tell anyone anything other than what happened and who I am.?What I have found is that the authentic telling of this story seems to have a reciprocal effect of inviting the interviewer to share more of their authentic selves as well.

Many times, over the past several weeks I have witnessed the person interviewing me shift naturally from “what did you do?” to “oh, this happened to you. I am sorry.”?But the truly remarkable thing is, that they start sharing what happened to them.?While we sit in our proper interview clothes, sipping water politely, interviewer referring to my resume sometimes through spectacles, I begin to hear life stories come through in phrases such as “my wife and I built this clinic ourselves ten years ago” and “I have served on this board for years, and by the way my son is a client who will forever need their services”.?These people care, they are invested beyond dollars, and they want the right fit.

?I get it, so do I.

One of my mentors told me that if I could put all the things that occurred during my life that were navigated through determination and a healthy dose of ignorance that I should be failing, that anyone would hire me.?I think this is true for all of us, and those who practice and understand equitable hiring practices call this lived experience or transferrable skills.?For example, I am a good leader because I am a good mother with grown, accomplished children who are also kind. Another example is my friend who is a good coach because she has a lifetime as a middle child listening and responding and holding her siblings and parents’ issues in confidence, pushing her own aside, while she encourages them forward. ??Why we separate the personal character from the professional knowledge skills and abilities and lived experience, I do not know.

I am not keeping a formal gratitude journal, but what I am doing is noticing.?I am noticing that each individual who has offered me the privilege of their time and their consideration as a candidate CARES about who they hire.?They want the best fit for the organization.?They want a successful bottom line and to offer an excellent service, but they also want the people who work within their ranks to be happy and cared for.?This crosses the for profit and nonprofit realms.?Perhaps I have been self-selecting in my process or fortunate to have applied for predominantly heart and head directed organizations but the people I have met care.?Yes, employers are searching for knowledge, skills and abilities and qualifications, but in leadership they are also searching for stewards.

Speed dating is fun and interesting, and it is also ‘thin’.?What is able to be conveyed in twenty minutes is nothing to represent what a person brings to the table and/or to adequately portray the history and the work behind the building of a business or nonprofit.?Perhaps SunTzu knew this best when he developed his ‘resume’ that stands as a work of art and literature today in the Art of War.???What I am interested in beyond the position and title and salary, is the people I am considering embarking on the next significant leg of my life with.?Who are you??Where have you been??Why do you serve here, and what struggles or achievements have shaped you??In the future, I want to spend more time understanding who the candidate who sits before me is because that is where the true story and character lies.

My hypothesis is that in the end, though we all appear vastly different; with different degrees, clothes, cars, politics, religions, family structures and social class and the list can go on, ?we are the same.?We all care, we all have pride and delicate egos and the desire to be seen and received for who we are, and we all love.?In the end, we are all doing the best we can.?Yes, I am the candidate, I am the one who does want and need work, but I notice that there is a need in the people who sit across from me too and a desire to find someone who cares.

What is not on my resume that is perhaps the most important thing to say is this; “I have been on a very long and arduous journey.?I have climbed the corporate ladder, achieved two degrees, raised two sons, thrown countless Christmas Dinners, and oh yes always minded the bottom line, showed up on time, and cared for the people who work for me, and still life happened.?I now want to find the right organization, where I can take all of that and all of who I am and add value and be valued.?I see your 990, or your strategic plan, and your organizational chart, but who are you and where have you been and where are you going??Would our burden be lighter if we traveled together?”

Time will tell if sharing of this harms or hurts my prospects.?Friends have said if it is off putting to potential employers, it wasn’t meant to be anyway.?But that doesn’t pay the bills.?However, I don’t think anyone remembers if Sun Tzu actually got the job he was applying for??What we remember is his try, his outpouring and beautiful and dangerous work of art.?My travel blog here may be dangerous, but it is true and that is what I am aiming for now and for the long term.

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