What internal mechanisms drive you?

In the professional community different things drive us all, but what drives you?

Growing up I would say I had a very fortunate upbringing. My family were far from wealthy, I would class us as Working Class, my parents worked very hard to keep the roof over our heads, a story I am sure most of you are very familiar with. There were struggles, difficulties growing up, but the same as any family, we stuck together and worked hard to reach the desired outcome.

Growing up my parents can only be described as givers. My dad worked in children's homes, my mum worked in a bank as a clerk and my parents also fostered hundreds of children growing up. Now, my parents didn't just foster normal children, they fostered the worst of the worst, those unfortunate children that had been subjected too all kinds of things that we would never wish on anyones kids. I'm talking about prolific teenage car thieves, burglars, shop lifters, consistent re offenders that felt no one could help them, so they were in a cycle of continued offending because they felt no one really cared. In hindsight they were life survivors, doing what they had to do to get through each day. My dad has run what was called a 'Boys Club' for over 30 years now, but due to political correctness and over 100 hundred years the name was changed to fit in with 'Young People' and to ensure that the club wasn't deemed sexist in anyway. However, with my dad doing this, despite often struggling to put food on the table, we had huge opportunities thrown at us as kids. If I was American, I would probably had the title of a 'Jock'. Sport was my life thanks to the club. We went on camping trips learning about outdoor survival, went potholing (Caving), climbing, abseiling, canoeing, when we weren't doing that, it was pool, table tennis, swimming, in door climbing, football (soccer) and rugby, and the main reason for this post and a passion of mine, Boxing.

Now many people call this noble art barbaric, dangerous, a pointless sport. As a child, because my dad was the club leader in charge, often I didn't have too much choice about what I would be doing, it was just life for me, boxing training 4 nights per week, winding down with a game of pool with my friends afterwards, Saturdays was soccer, Saturday nights was boxing competitions all over the country and Sunday was either rugby, cross country or motocross, so you could say I was always active and always doing something. From an early age I had responsibility thrust on me, my job was always to phone around the team to make sure they were able to play that day, sort the team kit and make sure it was all there, write a list and let my dad know who was playing and how many players we had. Then I had to go too the local fruit and veg shop to buy oranges for half time and make the drink bottles up. Remember this was before mobile phones and social media, so it was phoning from home to arrange collection. The only real thing I didn't play a role in organising was my boxing opponents. Dad would simply say "Your boxing in Gloucester tomorrow night" I would play a full soccer game, go home shower and back in the van to where we had to be, i turn't up, seen the doctor and done the best I could.

Looking back, and I don't know if my dad had this plan or not, but I became a confident well rounded sportsman who played soccer at a high level, boxed at a high level, rode a motocross bike well, and generally faced challenges head on with confidence and tenacity. I was a great all rounder, there wasn't really a game I couldn't hold my own at.

As the saying goes, you don't play boxing, so as I got better some of the other sports had to fall by the wayside as I wouldn't have been able to compete at the level I was reaching. Of every foster child that came through our house, almost all of them had a go at boxing, as they were generally naughty kids with street reputations, boxing added to their image. Now, this could be seen as a negative thing, who wants a naughty trainee villain being able to punch correctly and take advantage of their training? But in 99% of cases, different things happened. They developed discipline, they developed a hard work ethic, they became motivated, confident, proud of their achievements, fit, healthy and developed a different perspective on life, where they started to realise if they put the work in, then they would get reward at the end of it, maybe a trophy, certificate, but the boost to their self worth I believe was priceless. Everything changed with most of these lads, all of a sudden they didn't see the need to run off and steal, to miss school and have the mentality that the World owed them a favour! Of course, there were a few that just didn't want help, their minds were polluted to such an extent that it was already too late for them. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped is something I learnt from an early age.

I'm now 40, I'm a dad to 6 wonderfully different children, and as my love of boxing has always stayed with me, I turn't to coaching youngsters and have done for over 20 years, all be it I've had a couple of years away due to family and business, and well life in general. Last night I had the pleasure of meeting Floyd Mayweather JR at an event in Bristol. Now in my opinion, he is the greatest boxer of my generation, a master of the art who has the ability to read an opponent before they throw a shot and already be defending and attacking. The art of boxing has always been hit and not get hit. I wasn't sure what to expect of this man, but I new that it was a once in a life time opportunity to meet a great athlete. I had seen him on TV throwing money around, being arrogant, obtuse and generally a person you respect due to their ability, but don't like very much. Much the same as in life, people talk, oh he done this, he said that. People are often like sheep, they listen to an opinion of their peers or social circle and have their own mind up without gathering the full facts of a situation, I've been guilty of this in the past, but age has made me realise that other peoples opinions don't matter, they don't count, its just another opinion, if they don't like you based on the opinion of others comments and views, well thats their loss, I wont lose sleep over it. They are closed individuals who lack the ability to form their own opinion. There are always 2 sides to every story, its up to you to gather the facts and form your own opinion and right or wrong, its just your opinion who cares if people don't agree?? Meeting Floyd in person for a short period of time, i found him to be a polite, personable and nice enough fella. But one thing with great people, and I've met a few, is they have something in them that drives them, something that they can't teach or explain, but its an internal fire that ensures they reach greatness. The eyes are the windows to the soul, I am a big believer that a persons eyes tells you what you want to know, I can't really explain it, but I have seen the same look in the eye of the all the great people Ive been fortunate to meet. Boxing is the loneliest sport in the World. If you don't dedicate yourself 100% to the craft, its a painful sport to be involved in. There is no fun in being punched in the face unless your a masochist! The weeks of training, the discipline to stick to a diet, the sacrifice you have to make to get to the top. Unless you have been through this, its very hard to explain, but like anything if it was easy everyone would do it. What I have found over the years is that boxers are a very special bunch of people. Modern day gladiators, who sacrifice everything to reach their ultimate goal of being a champion. As I started my professional work career, I remember having a load of guys from the office turn up too one of our club shows where I was working the corner with some of my boxers. The sales director turn't to me later that night and said " Sean, I have never seen you so passionate when you are working with those lads, imagine if you could put that passion, with your determination and drive into your work " It made me take a step back and think, "was I really lacking in passion"? " I've always had a hard work ethic, what can he see that I can't?" It took me a while to be able to digest and make the changes necessary, but I did. I put all the effort I used to put into my training into my work, I became passionate, dedicated, worked even harder. And the harder I worked, the luckier I got! Every time I was knocked back, I came back stronger, I wouldn't let people beat me, I used a fighters mentality in the modern world, I was passionate, determined, un beatable in my head. Did this make me arrogant when I started to climb the proffesional ladder? Yes it did. But then in my mind, I was applying everything I could to be the very best I could be, did I like who I was back then? No, I was a money crazed, confident asshole who put myself above people. I had the best things, cars, house, clothes, holidays, if I wanted it, I just bought it, no thought went into it. I'm the first to admit I was a bit of a cock.

Looking at Floyd last night made me realise a few things and how I have changed over the years. This man is the greatest boxer of my generation. He earn't more money in one fight than many people will ever earn in a lifetime. Everything he ever said in relation to a fight came true, yes there were controversies in some fights, but then thats boxing or life in general. Did he deserve the right to be arrogant? At that stage in his career, his confidence and age says he believes so yes. For me looking back, I wish I was not the way I was, I wish I was more humble, I wish I could change the person I was then, to the person I am now. With age comes refinement and reflection. I am now one of the quietest guys in the room, still very confident in my abilities, but no longer feel the need to shout it from the roof tops for recognition. In fact I shun recognition, I don't like the attention it brings. Both my parents have been awarded MBE's by the queen, and I am extremely proud of them and the recognition they have received for the excellent work they have done over the years, me however, thats not for me. I know what I have achieved in my life, I know what I am capable of achieving for the rest of it, I know that with my mindset and work ethic, I will give my family the very best life and opportunities I can. And all of this comes from my life growing up as a sportsman and boxer. I have something inside me that is in each and everyone of you if you dig down and search for it, its in all of us, you just have to believe in yourself and dig deep. When you find it, I promise you will kick yourself and look back on your life wondering why you haven't done this before. What I am trying to say here is you have the greatest opportunity in your life to reach dizzy levels of success, but only YOU can make this happen, it wont happen for you.

I want to sign off by giving you some pointers i have found useful, and hopefully they enable you to make a positive change in your life;

1. Love what you do. If you are in a position where when you wake up you hate the environment you are going into, change it. It doesn't matter if you are 19 or 50. If you don't love what you do, you wont have the passion to perform to the best of your ability. If your job is crap, change it, if your in a toxic relationship, change it. Have the strength and courage to make that change, do it for you and no one else!
2. Spend time with those you love. Our life journey is a short one. Family is what keeps us strong, its what makes us work hard to give our children more opportunities in life. Working 12-18 hour days is sometimes a requirement, I know, I have to do them, but whatever you do, do not forget about those whom you love, protect and care for. Learn to switch off your emails and smartphones, sit down and eat with your family, do things together. One on one time is more important than chucking money at a situation. If you are stressed, over worked, the people that suffer the most is your family. When you leave work, leave work at the front door when you go home.
3. Do something you love. Whether its going to the gym, catching up with friends, do something for you. Have a passion away from the office. Learn to use that passion in your day to day work, you will be a new person! If you are passionate about your product, company, role, this passion will come across to everyone you meet.
4. Focus. Be strategic in your day. Before you leave the office, have your mornings work planned and ready for the day ahead. This takes no more than 10-15 minutes a day and will ensure as soon as your at your desk, in your van, on site, wherever, you will start your day organised, positive and passionate. Organisation is critical to a successful day, you wont be scrambled wondering whats next? Oh I have to send an email? I have to check Facebook, twitter whatever! Prior planning prevents poor performance. It is a great habit to have, and you can mentally tick off your jobs as you complete them, ensuring that you are less stressed and more efficient than before.
5. Stop listening to the negative voices. We all have that little voice that goes off in our heads on a daily basis, "You can't do that" "That wont work" "WTF" "Shoot me now" there are many. If you have negativity around you, cut it out, switch off, don't listen. We all have that one colleague that can turn a room grey just by entering it. Do not let the thoughts or actions of others dictate your mood and mindset. Poisonous, destructive people have no place in your life, in your head or in your ears. You are positive, you are a winner, you are the best you can be, be open to the World around you, feel positivity, smile, be happy, life is short so make the very best of what you have. Sometimes shit happens, don't let it drag you down, forget, reset and move forward! Remember negativity breeds negativity, remove it from your life and surroundings.
6. Never, never, never, never give up. This to me is the mentality of a champion. You get knocked down, get up, your kicked when your down, get up, things are tough, don't let it beat you. If at any point in your life you reach a barrier or wall, go through it, over it, under it, just don't let it beat you or prevent your momentum. We are amazing people, our mindset dictates everything we do. If you truly believe in yourself, nothing will ever stand in your way. One thing I have taught all my children is that you do not give up, ever. You keep going till you find a solution.
7. Do something for someone and don't expect a thank you. Its nice to be nice. Help someone cross the road, help a colleague, get someone a coffee, by a homeless person a sandwich, whatever it is that you do, try and do something for someone on a daily basis. When you give something to someone and don't expect anything in return, there is no better feeling inside. Doing this small act of kindness will certainly come back to you in other ways. Don't believe me, try it. As I said, its nice to be nice.

Hopefully this little piece is something that everyone can learn from, I certainly hope that it makes you take a step back and think about the direction your life is heading and where you want to be. Develop the fighters mentality, be confident, be strong, be who you know you are inside. Make that change.

If you are in sales or telesales, want to sell more and be better at what you do, download my book on Amazon or get the kindle app and download it to your iPad. I have spent 20 years in sales, made over 900,000 cold calls and generated revenue in excess of ￡19 Million GBP, and can certainly help improve your performance. I can also help with the training and development of your sales teams, please message me for details.

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