Embrace awkwardness and stay evolving

?

My writing is sharing the meanderings of my reflective mind. There has been a lull since I wrote anything specific, because of a few personal strands and the world news with elements of crisis unfolding regularly. I find it confronting to witness children in strife-torn regions except wish it would get easier and common sense would prevail. But not always would you get answers to complex problems, that have no simple solutions.

Parenting is my choice of indulgence, as that is what ‘unconditional love’ is all about and no matter what age level your child is, you can’t step off the parenting accelerator to support them when they need and have their back.

The headlines of everyday news whether it is about racism, strife-affected nations, climate change and how it is affecting many regions or gender rights, it is a boiling pot of testing conundrums. Compared to a generation before, the unregulated and ubiquitous social media environment exposes kids to unfamiliar and hard-to-understand topics without caring for their mental thresholds to absorb that subject. The sheer volatility of exposure is making it hard to keep their innocence or their values intact when they see how larrikins can get away with bad behaviour as with social media, anyone having anything to spout can get approvals from the virtual world by way of likes.

In this seething world of altering values, it is a lot harder to talk out right and wrong with your children, as all types of content blaring up and close, and virtually no limits or topics that a young growing adolescent child would not know, ahead of their age while their minds are still adapting and evolving. This was not the same a generation before and so many things were ‘off–topics’ for us which we only got exposed to in later adulthood.

When unsure, the only quality I fall back upon is ‘resilience’ taught to me in action by my parents both in full-time employment – with their 5 children and still having the edge for additional family chores. I would recall an instance when my father (who worked as a senior bureaucrat), had come home late from the office and yet went out again to get my brother’s assignments printed and affixed into a spiral book at the local photocopier / stationary shop so he could submit it at his school next morning.

This would happen differently with each of us as we would forget to do the school craft work, assignments or exam preparation within the timeline. Each would offer help after their respective long day of office work.

My mum would make fresh home-cooked food and do every house chore while working as a senior mathematics teacher and would not complain about the workload.

Now when I look back, I don’t know whether they didn’t complain as they had any extra threshold, or whether they knew what each had to do and did it regardless.

However, what I know is that built a firm foundation in each one of us to stick out and do the required work no matter what, and not quit.

This quality of resilience taught in action is what I believe made it so visually vivid that I have a clear memory and also lived experience of being able to say I did well.

Today if we look around, there are serious political issues, climate factors, and pressing health demands that have stuck their head in the last decade. To thrive it is imperative to have that extra bone of resilient mindset to be able to rise above the problem and find the solution. This is one quality that can hold your ground when efforts don’t give the desired results. Resilience is by far more important than intelligence quotient. A high IQ person may not adjust in the world, where a high EQ is what gives adaptability to survive when odds stack up.

And this preparedness starts with us as parents, because our children watch every move we make. And when we show them qualities that we expect of them, there are better chances they would follow suit.

While the world is forever evolving, to my son I would extend a few tips that may help him to calibrate better:

#1 Trust is Valuable - so give it after due diligence. You would meet people on the way who would influence and you would like to believe what they say. However, take time to trust a person after you have seen them through a good length to know what their core values are.

#2 Health is real Wealth – Your health and well-being are undoubtedly the most valuable assets you possess. Maintaining them in top condition is crucial as it enables you to work effectively, think clearly, and make sound decisions. A healthy body is the foundation of a healthy mind, and illness can be costly. In essence, health is synonymous with happiness and wealth.

#3 Life only gets Better - Life continually improves as we learn lessons along the way. It is dynamic, with many factors beyond our control. Always do your best and aim higher, for each redirection is an opportunity to pivot towards something even better than originally desired.

#4 Choose friends Wisely - The friends you choose can largely influence the habits you develop. Being part of a peer group that aligns with your future goals and inspires you to learn and grow will help you stay focused and guided

#5 Never feel Shame - You will make mistakes and missteps, and these opportunities can be used to help you learn by accepting accountability and fixing your mistakes. For making mistakes is proof that you are only ‘human’.

#Relax & Unwind - And on a scale of options to relax with, Spotify is a good app that you can listen to, while you do your own thing!

Some reading on resilience: Resilience as a Positive Youth Development Construct: A Conceptual Review - PMC ( nih.gov )

Why resilience-building in teens is vital for success ( murdoch.edu.au )

3 Biggest Issues Affecting Youth Today | World Economic Forum ( weforum.org )