What I'm thinking about

I have been thinking a lot about George Floyd – how tragic and unnecessary his death was and why such killings continue today. And then I saw this from General CQ Brown Jr the Commander of Pacific Air Forces USA. Truth is that a better use of time than reading me would be to invest 4mins47seconds of your life in listening to what he has to say. Because it matters. It matters a lot. But anyway – this is what I’m thinking about.

I’m thinking about “silence is violence”. I don’t think of myself as a violent person. Far from it. But I have been silent. Silent at least inasmuch that I haven’t done anything like all I could have to hear better, to see better and, above all, to understand better.

I’m thinking about watching Rodney King being beaten in LA on national TV, what, nearly 30 years ago. I knew such brutality happened and the perpetrators generally got away with it. But this was the first time such video evidence was available. So, I knew that this time it would be different and the police would be held to account. Except, I was wrong and not much changed if at all. Maybe it got worse.

I’m thinking about the black colleague who came to me as her boss in Cambridge in the 1990s after having been stopped in her car for the – what was it? – the third time in as many weeks. A black woman with dreadlocks driving a smart car. I wrote to the Chief Constable. Good effort. But it was there. Institutional racism right in front of me. And I wrote a letter. Good effort indeed huh? Then what? What did I do next?

I’m thinking about the 1970s and my teenage years watching Saturday night TV with overt racism a core part of every comedy show. Take The Comedians. "Oh, but it’s ok" people said, "because there’s that black guy Charlie Williams who tells jokes about Pakis so it’s ok, isn’t it?" And so one of the most egregious racist terms was somehow common currency. How wrong was that?

I’m thinking about global travels and the times I’ve been the only white person or one of few. I’m thinking about the warm, open hearted hospitality from so many who had so little, but the warmth of their hearts was bountiful. And then there were the very few times where it was clear I was not welcome and knowing deep down that was the feeling that millions of my fellow human beings experience every day.

I’m thinking about the music I listened to as a kid but didn’t really hear. Lockdown has meant a heap of old music documentaries. Curtis Mayfield was on the TV other day. It took me back to how much I had liked Keep on Keeping on but had never even thought about the lyrics, my tone deaf ears not even hearing the core message behind the the beauty of his voice.

I’m thinking about the here and now when I still experience rooms without gender balance, with so few people of colour present in what we believe to be an international community.

I’m thinking about the conversation the other day with my 24-year old daughter. When I expressed my frustration and sense of hopelessness she patiently explained the only answer – get learning, get active. Then she sent me a list of resources and I advised me to read. It’s here.

I’m thinking about all those conversations about the SDGs over recent years. It’s time for us to focus on SDG16 and peace and justice. Of course, we need progress on the whole agenda but let’s not overlook this one.

And right now I’m thinking mostly about the social situations I have been in over the years when I have heard some or other casual remark with racism implicit within it from people I believe to have no malice in them but let it go unchallenged. You may know that feeling. Am I the only one who heard it? Did they really say it? What did they mean? What if I create a row? Oh… we’ve moved on… Well it’s probably too late to bring it up now.

So, yes. Silence is violence. Let me find the will and the courage to see better, hear better, understand better and above all to be silent no more.