"What if I'm NOT Funny?" THAT Old Leadership Dilemma...Or is it?
Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA
?? BOLD people, ideas, culture | Interactive Keynote Speaker, MC, Author | Turning Creative Courage into Innovation, Performance, Comms Fuel for Tech & Brand Leaders & Teams thru strategy + humor
"I'm afraid I am not funny," said the CEO of a major conference and social media organization to me before the podcast we recorded together.
He wanted to 'rehearse' our podcast. I said no. I said, I got your back. "I got your back" is a founding principle of improv. It's important that we make our partners look good. That we have each other's backs out there. Of course it matters!
"My fear is I'll fail," he said. I told him that won't happen IF he lets go and shows up real - not as some goofy persona of a Dangerfield character he THINKS he has to be.
Who said he had to be funny? HE did. He thought he needed to do that to connect.
I get it. It's a common fear. I hear you. Many CEOS feel this way. Yup.
And I also believe we need to reframe this. Because being funny is nice; that is not what your people NEED most.
So yes, I knocked him off his 'script.' Because that's not funny.
Humor does NOT equal being funny.
Whaaaa? "Kathy, what you are saying?!" Humor is > jokes. Yes, I said it. As a comedian who performs. speaks, and works with leaders -- yes, I said it. Because it's true. It's not about being funny. It's about showing up as an imperfect, real and approachable person people relate to. Humor is an attitude - it's how we show up. It's how we choose to live and be open in every moment. Funny is great; our humor is for as much for us as it is for them. Maybe more so. Our human card.
Yes, funny is great. I recommend if you can do it. It's fun. Not gonna lie.
It's a high bar and it's not necessary. And that high bar keeps us from trying because of perfectionism. Perfectionism and what we think we have to be gets in our way of showing up as we are - real, human, imperfect. Which is mostly what people want anyway.
Stop TRYING to be funny and instead, do this:
-Be human
-Say a big truth that is fully human
-Be vulnerable and honest in the moment
-Aim for connecting in a REAL way vs being a 'comedian'
-Show up and embrace your own levity and humor first
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-Tell a story and use humor in that to connect
Funny is great. When you are speaking and wanting to connect, get your message straight first.
Message FIRST
THEN add humor and funny elements to bring it to life.
You will be way funnier IF...you 1) focus on meaning and meeting people where they ARE and 2) if you let go and focus on showing up real, not worrying about trying hard to be funny.
Your people don't want a comedian who doesn't connect one on one off-stage. I know many of these people. I am one of those people at times as I still perform stand-up at clubs and conferences where I also speak.
Somewhere in the old-school CEO manual, he and others got the message that you're expected to be funny. That it's what makes us human.
Not so. What makes us human is leaning into our imperfections and vulnerabilities.
Your people want you, the leader, the CEO, to be approachable, real, make them feel seen, connect with them, make them laugh and help them know it's ok to explore their own humor and feel safe doing it.
More than anything, they want YOU to be YOU - imperfect, honest, vulnerable and yes, willing to show up and laugh at themselves, too.
Stop forcing 'funny.' Understand that will come with being you, being honest, and being fully human.
I work with leaders, teams and brands. Funny has a place. Go for real and human first. THAT's what will make humor stick.
And yes, he thanked me and said not only did he have more fun; I made him look way better by helping him be real in the moment. He was improvisational and, in doing that, he was funny BECAUSE he was real.
His team reached out to me and said 'you pulled off the impossible.' It's great. Not true. Yes, we worked well together. You being you as you IS exactly enough.
Drop the script, folks. Be YOU.
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About Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA
I am on a mission to help people unlock their natural humor and inner improviser for their own transformation. An ex-tech marketing / communications exec who led teams for 16 years and an improviser and comedian for over 23 years, today I combine my comedy and business backgrounds to help people and companies be braver, bolder and way more human. Using improvisation and stand-up comedy techniques, I transform leaders into communicators who show up, speak up, and story tell playfully and powerfully. I am a keynote speaker and trainer, Founder of Keeping it Human? and Author of "Stop Boring Me!" I still perform and teach stand-up comedy and improv in its pure theater form. My 13 yro used to laugh at my jokes. Now I just knock on his bedroom door, throw red meat in, and run!!!!! From Silicon Valley / Stanford to Second City and Stages - I (and you!) have a story to tell.
Improving business through creativity and curiosity! Keynote & TEDx Speaker??|Developing leaders through Leadership Canvas?|Author of 'What if Pigs Can Fly?'|Certified LEGO? SERIOUS PLAY? Methods Trainer & Facilitator
2 年Great take on humor Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA ! It’s more about being real than funny. Great point!
Professional Speaker | Emcee | International Bestselling Co-Author | Expert in Sales & Storytelling | ex-Microsoft
2 年Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA. #yesand When you show up as you and drop all the pretenses it is amazing how enjoyable you can be. :-). On my podcast I have them introduce themselves then it is a conversation between two people and it goes where it goes. Although as the host I try to help them get where they wanted to go and have some fun and laughs along the way.
Housing is a human right and everyone deserves a safe, supportive, and sustainable home. | Keynote Speaker | Facilitator | Consultant |
2 年This is great. Good message.
Helping Speakers, Trainers, Facilitators, and anyone who stands up in front of an audience become more humorous, confident, spontaneous, and effective. WHERE ARE YOU STUCK?
2 年Your point about being REAL is the key Kathy Klotz-Guest MA, MBA We connect through humor when we share our similar perspectives, which means we need to be vulnerable. "Funny" is a result, not necessarily a process.
Trusted Advisor to Women in Leadership | I Help Elite Executives & Women Founders Go From "Just" Successful to Ridiculously Successful & Deeply Fulfilled | Leadership & Executive Excellence
2 年My kids (boys of course) are not funny, yet they stand up every day and just goof around, joke, hold their own, take up space and use their voices. If they can do it we can too. The world sees them as charming, well-spoken, and far more amusing than I do. As women we need to embrace that kind of uninhibited ease, take ourselves just a little less seriously to actually show up more powerfully. Executive presence demands it.