"What if I'm not funny?"

For this issue of my newsletter, I’m sharing a letter from a long-time reader.

Dear Anna,

I'm a huge fan of your newsletter. Literally, you are a GENIUS, and also, your new haircut looks great. I'm sorry if no one has noticed. A quarter of an inch off the length is certainly worth remarking on!

Anyway, you always say that if you want your audience to relax, you should start your talk with a joke. But here's the thing: I've been told (more than once—haha!!!) that my jokes are "stupid," "not funny," or "mildly offensive, even though I know you don’t mean for them to be." So here’s my question: I have to give a big talk next month. Should I learn a joke that doesn't "sound like something my second-grader would say?"

Sincerely, your #1 fan,

Kris Nathan Humphries

Dear Kris,

First off, thanks for noticing my hair. Does it look too "brassy" to you? I can't decide. Also, thank you for your kind words, but please stop texting me photos. Here’s my answer to you, and anyone else who’s trying to decide whether to open with humor:

In the words of Yoda: "Do or do not, there is no try."

Here’s what I mean: If you’re unsure you can pull off a joke or funny anecdote, try it out on a few people you trust to give you an honest opinion. If they laugh, go for it. If they scrunch up their face and say, "Mmmmmm…" then don’t do it. Opening with a joke is only ONE WAY to grab your audience’s attention. A surprising stat or fact works just as well. And when in doubt, leave it out.

AND if you DO decide to tell a joke or funny story, DON'T start it with any of the following:

• "I’m not sure if this is funny, but here goes…"
• "I’m not much of a comedian, but…"
• "My wife thinks this is funny, so…"

However funny it might have been will instantly be reduced by 30%. Instead, if you think it’s funny and you’ve field-tested it, just go for it. People who don’t know how to tell jokes often rush the punchline. The best comics know it’s all about the set-up.

Good luck Kris!

And p.s. Want some inspiration? This talk is one of the funniest talks from our TEDxPortsmouth stage.