The "What Ifs" of Life

by Ken Simmons

"What if" I had done things differently. If you're anything at all like me you've probably wondered the same thing many times. I think back on all the mistakes I've made and the "what ifs" come to mind.

Many of my mistakes resulted in regrettable consequences, and I think "what if I could go back and undo them?" And there were some mistakes that initially didn't appear to be mistakes at all, but in the long run they would have had a negative affect on my life for years to come.

In 1984 a television producer hired me at KNBC-TV in Los Angeles as an investigative reporter, with the intention that I would eventually appear as a fill-in news anchor on weekends, or whenever needed in that role. I'd played an audio audition tape for him and he was impressed, saying "You're not just another pretty face, you've got talent." I was then told to produce an entire newscast made up of any subjects I considered worthy and then I was to audition this newscast with my co-anchor Laurel Erickson on the news anchor desk. This was simply an audition that would never be aired but they wanted to know how I handled myself on air.

I decided to write the entire newscast around a story that I had uncovered in Florida many years before but I was forbidden to air it when I was the News Director of a major radio station in Lakeland because it would embarrass too many politicians in the area and get them into serious legal trouble. It involved a major Las Vegas style gambling party at a man's Lakeland mansion that included a sit-down dinner for more than 100 people. The party involved federal judges, County Commissioners, a City Manager, and many of Central Florida's rich and powerful.

A close friend, who was a brilliant pianist, had been hired to entertain the crowd of hundreds, and he told me that he saw $30,000 change hands in one roll of the dice. They had also employed shills (prostitutes) from Las Vegas for the party to entertain the guests as they gambled, and later that evening upstairs. The party was complete with slot machines, roulette wheels, craps and blackjack tables.

Back to the newscast. My decision to include an F.B.I. agent, who was a friend (my wife Diane worked at the FBI for 16 years) in the newscast to gave it an aire of authenticity.

My decision to pursue this story was largely because I had witnessed the hypocrisy of local officials who routinely busted an black man named "Muley" for his local penny ante gambling parties, hitting him with large fines and jail time.

Although I had a splitting headache from the bright studio lights the audition went fairly well. After Ms. Erickson and I finished the audition newscast, the following day I was informed that KNBC-TV would not be giving me a permanent position after all. My job lasted only three days. I later learned that my utilizing the story about the gambling party in Lakeland caused another investigative reporter at KNBC to begin investigating the case and making calls to Florida, and word of his investigation spread quickly. It was soon discovered I was the original source of the story. The repercussions were quick and severe. Apparently that was the real reason I'd not been hired.

So, what does that have to do with the "What Ifs" of life? If my hiring had been made permanent it would have required that Diane and I would have had to move to Los Angeles, which would have meant moving our children to a big city with all of its negative influences. And, I likely would have never written two Christian books, dozens of Christian articles, and my life would likely have turned out very differently.

So, the "What If" turned out to be one of those "all things work together for good" and I am thankful that I never secured a permanent position at KNBC-TV, Los Angeles.