What I Would Tell My Younger Self About Leadership (And Why It Still Matters Today): Secrets of a Chief People Officer

The Leadership Lessons We Wish We Knew Sooner

I still remember my first few years in the working world—my first job, my first promotion, my first 'management' role—I was a fresh-faced graduate in Human Resource Management, eager to make an impact in every circle of my life. I was ambitious, confident, and full of ideas. I spoke up in meetings, shared my thoughts enthusiastically—so much so that when someone couldn’t remember my name, they referred to me as ‘the gobby one’ (fortunately not in a bad way)... I didn’t always get it right, and the resources available today simply weren’t as accessible then. There were no leadership blogs, podcasts, or online learning platforms at my fingertips like there are now. Coaching, at the time, was often viewed as a remedial tool to manage performance rather than the essential accelerator for leadership growth that it is today. Without structured guidance, I had to learn through trial and error—sometimes getting it wrong before I got it right and by goodness did I do that.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self about leadership, I’d have a lot to say. But if I had to narrow it down to three things that truly shaped my journey, they would be:

1. You need to define your leadership brand—because if you don’t, others will do it for you. And by the way, 'gobby' was certainly not a term I would have chosen to define mine.
2. The right people will champion you—but you have to let them.
3. Balancing work and life isn’t about doing it all—it’s about doing what matters.

These lessons still matter today, and here’s why.

Lesson 1: Define Your Leadership Brand—And Make Sure It’s Truly Yours

Over the years, I’ve run Leadership Branding workshops for senior leaders, and the most common reaction I hear is: "I wish someone had told me this earlier in my career."

Early on, I didn’t realise that if you don’t define your leadership brand, others will do it for you. And for a long time, I thought being a leader meant showing up in a way that I thought people expected—so I put on a ‘mask.’ This is unhealthy and what I realised over time that because it didn't bring the best out in me, I ended up affecting the relationships that mattered the most, outside of work.

I believed I had to be more polished, more composed—focused on impressing those above me rather than building genuine influence at all levels. I thought that was what leadership was supposed to look like. But the more I tried to fit that mould, the less effective (and the less fulfilled) I became as a leader.

What I Would Tell My Younger Self:

• You don’t need to ‘perform’ leadership—you need to own it. The best leaders bring their full, authentic selves to the table. True leadership is not about putting on a front to meet expectations—it’s about showing up consistently, grounded in your values and strengths. The more energy spent on maintaining a version of yourself that isn’t authentic, the less energy you have for the work that actually matters.

• Your leadership brand should reflect your strengths and values — not what you think others want to see. It’s easy to get caught up in perceptions — trying to fit the mould of what leadership should look like. But the strongest leaders are those who stay true to their convictions and lead in a way that is uniquely theirs. If you lead from a place of authenticity, people will trust and respect you for who you really are, not just the image you project.

• If you feel like you have to wear a mask every day, something’s not right. Leadership should feel empowering, not exhausting. If you find yourself constantly adjusting who you are to fit different situations, it’s time to step back and reassess. True leadership comes from a place of confidence, not conformity.

Why It Still Matters Today:

Think about the leaders you've truly connected with — were they the ones who seemed untouchable, always polished, always perfect? Probably not. We connect with people who are real, who share their challenges, who own their strengths but don’t hide their struggles. In a world where authenticity matters more than ever, the best thing you can do as a leader is show up as yourself — flaws, strengths, and all — because that’s what builds trust, respect, and real influence.

Lesson 2: The Right People Will Champion You (But You Have to Let Them)

If I count the leaders who have truly been for me, I could do it on one hand. And honestly? I’ve often wondered in my 'older' self — was that because I never asked? I like to believe that most leaders wouldn’t deliberately work against someone. Maybe that’s a little naive, but I’ve always been someone who looks for the best in people.

What I Would Tell My Younger Self:

• Hard work alone isn’t enough—you need people who will advocate for you. Many of us believe that if we put our heads down and do good work, we’ll naturally get noticed. But that’s not always the case. Leadership requires visibility, and sometimes, that visibility comes from those who are willing to champion us when we’re not in the room.

• There’s a difference between mentorship and sponsorship. Mentors offer advice, guidance, and a sounding board. Sponsors, on the other hand, advocate for you, use their influence to create opportunities, and put their reputation on the line to propel you forward. Both are crucial, but sponsorship can be a game-changer in career progression.

• It’s okay to ask for support. Many of us, particularly women, hesitate to ask for help because we don’t want to seem incapable. But seeking sponsorship isn’t about asking for a favour — it’s about allowing people to invest in you because they see your potential.

Why It Still Matters Today:

There has been a growing recognition that while mentorship is widely available, sponsorship remains significantly lacking. Many professionals—regardless of gender—find themselves well-mentored but under-sponsored, missing out on the advocacy that helps propel careers forward. Sponsorship isn’t just about guidance; it’s about someone actively championing your progression, creating opportunities, and ensuring you are considered for roles that align with your potential.

Given that this is Women in Leadership Week, I want to reflect specifically on how this impacts women. Sheryl Sandberg highlighted in her book Lean In the concept of the 'Queen Bee' syndrome—the idea that some senior women, having fought hard to reach the top, may not always extend a hand to those behind them. While this notion has been debated over the years, what remains true is that mentorship for women has significantly increased, yet sponsorship—the kind of advocacy that helps open doors and accelerate career progression—remains limited.

Women are still over-mentored but under-sponsored. The leadership gap won’t close unless we actively lift each other up, champion talent, and advocate for the next generation. Putting women in leadership programs is one thing, but without a real focus on sponsorship, many of these women will struggle to succeed in the way that was originally intended.

Lesson 3: Balancing Work and Life Isn’t About Doing It All —It’s About Doing What Matters

This is an important lesson to learn, particularly for those who have caring responsibilities for other people. Let me tell you a story. Not long after returning from maternity leave, I found myself in one of the busiest times of my career. I had barely settled back in when I was thrown straight into due diligence for an acquisition, followed by the acquisition itself. Suddenly, I wasn’t just doing my job—I was doing two jobs. And at the same time, I was trying to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect everything. Looking back, I realise now that I was also battling postnatal depression, though I didn’t recognise it at the time.

I remember one particular day when it all came crashing down. I left work feeling completely drained, and as I drove home, I cried the entire way. I felt like I was failing at everything—work, home, life—because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t make it all fit. The strong desire to win at everything had always been part of me, but for the first time, I was realising that sheer determination wasn’t enough.

For so long, I believed in the idea of?work-life balance?as if it were an equation to solve. I told myself that?if I just managed my time better, I could “have it all.”

But here’s the truth:?you can’t do everything, and that’s okay.

Balance isn’t about splitting your time equally between work and life—it’s about being?present where it matters most. Some weeks, work takes priority. Other weeks, personal life needs more of you. And that’s not failure. That’s reality.

What I Would Tell My Younger Self:

• Stop chasing balance—start setting boundaries.?Balance is a myth, but boundaries protect what’s important. It’s easy to feel like you need to be ‘on’ all the time, but learning to say no—without guilt—is one of the most important skills you can develop. Boundaries don’t mean you care less; they mean you’re ensuring you can sustain yourself for the long haul.

• Success isn’t about doing everything—it’s about doing what matters.?Early in my career, I thought that to be successful, I had to excel at everything, all at once. But over time, I realised that real success comes from being strategic about where you invest your energy. You can’t give 100% to everything—so be intentional about what truly deserves your time and focus.

• You don’t have to apologise for prioritising yourself.?Whether it’s family, health, or personal time—if it matters to you, it’s worth protecting. Too often, we feel guilty for stepping away from work or taking time for ourselves, but in reality, looking after yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. The more you invest in your well-being, the more effective and fulfilled you’ll be as a leader.

Why It Still Matters Today:

The world we work in today moves at an unrelenting pace, and the pressure to ‘have it all’ hasn’t disappeared. If anything, it’s intensified. Leaders are expected to juggle multiple roles seamlessly, but the truth is that something always has to give. The best leaders aren’t the ones who try to do everything; they’re the ones who recognise their limits, set boundaries, and make conscious decisions about where they show up.

If we want to create workplaces where people thrive, we have to shift the narrative. Work-life balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about sustainability. And the sooner we let go of the myth that we can do it all, the more we’ll empower ourselves and others to lead in a way that is both impactful and sustainable.

Closing Thoughts

Looking back, these three lessons have shaped not only my career but also the way I support and develop leaders today. Defining your leadership brand, surrounding yourself with the right champions, and setting boundaries aren’t just nice-to-haves; they are essential to thriving in leadership.

When I started out—ambitious, eager, and determined to make my mark—I thought leadership was about making an immediate impact. But over time, I learned that leadership isn’t just about speaking up; it’s about making the?right?impact, at the?right?time, in the?right?way. The reality is, if you don’t take ownership of your leadership journey, others will define it for you. And without the right people advocating for you, moving forward can feel like an uphill battle. I wish I had understood these things earlier, but the good news is, we can pass these lessons on to those coming behind us.

Leadership isn’t a solo journey. Let’s build each other up, create spaces for people to lead authentically, and ensure the next generation doesn’t just step into leadership—but thrives in it.

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