What I would teach my younger professional self...

Currently I am coming out of what was the biggest restaurant opening of my professional career. It is moments like this that you draw from your experience as a leader and manager. It has been a great opening, yet very challenging as restaurant openings are. It made me think: "What truly is the difference in business between leadership and management?" Many people think that they are the same when in fact they are not... Google both words and you will get very different descriptions. Being in the middle of this restaurant opening I found myself working very closely with and alongside all crew from all levels and work groups. I am interacting with the Owner, Executives, GM, Managers, bartenders, cooks, dishwashers, vendors, home office, construction workers - all people at all levels. This made me think about leadership and what type of leader I am today. Leadership does not require a position or title. You can lead from wherever you are. The book "360 Degree Leader" by John Maxwell was a very helpful read for me. So what does it take to be a good Leader? Theoretically a great Leader should be a great Manager and visa versa, but reality shows us quite different facts. We all know great leaders, but they appear to be poor managers. I am sure we all know solid managers, but they may not be the greatest of leaders. My goal here is to "dumb it down" and give you some of my lessons learned about true Leadership and Management and show you some examples on how to be both.

Before we start, ask yourself who in your opinion is a great leader...? Who inspired you the most in your life? If there was one person we asked you to talk about that made a true impact on your career as business professional, as human being - who would it be? And why exactly? If there were words to describe that person, what would those words be? Calm, strategic and great outlook on life? Or someone that was energetic, always there for you and ready for worst case scenarios? Great leaders are very flexible and willing and able to adapt to whatever is in front of them. Great leaders are defined in difficult times. Often great leaders are also business managers and expected to deliver results; financial results, EBIDTA, money in the bank - so how does that work hand in hand? Here is what I have learned and if I could speak to a "a 25 year old me", here is what I would tell my younger self...

"Be strategic and reactive" - a great leader is strategic. You have to set some long term goals. For example, if one of the businesses I run doesn't work well, I roll up the sleeves and get in there and try to see and learn from front line crew members about what might be the issue. I always try to figure out a short term solution (bandage) and a long term solution (fix & process). I try to consult the managers on what the issue might be and address it right away. It may be a service issue at the front desk (I am in the restaurant industry). If that is the case, I spend time there and will drill down into every detail to figure out what the problem is and address it immediately. It may be an hourly crew member, perhaps even the manager that oversees that department. But long term I make mental notes - this could be a deep rooted issue related to leadership or execution. That would prompt me to review training materials; are they up to date and effective, is there a similar trend in other restaurants? Did we hire the right leader in that business that can follow through on the promise? Then a long term adjustment may be necessary, such as updating materials or starting a search for a new manager. So a great leader and manager should be able to react to issues - as well as be able to plan long term and make strategic decisions that will address the issue at hand.

"Be humble, yet confident" - I have learned to wake up every day and count my blessings. I thank the Lord for my great job, my healthy and happy family, the full refrigerator and the car that takes me to work every day. I am truly blessed and thankful. But then I look in the mirror every day as well and I say "good job and go for it" - not from an arrogant place, but from a confident place. I have learned to be humble in how you lead, yet be confident in what you do. Speak up, challenge things if you do not agree. Your boss - whoever you report to - does not want you to sit in the meeting and simply agree with everything. They hired you for a reason, so do your job and speak up (respectfully). And pick your battles very carefully. Don't waste energy on little things. Don't fight what I call "self serving battles" - things that help you and not your business or crew. But also do not be the one that agrees with everything. And push back when necessary... but, if your superior wants your support and the decision has been made, you support it 100% and do not convey any frustration to your direct reports. Once the decision has been made, you get behind it fully as it was your own. That is after all what you would want from your own people, right? So be that leader you would want your people to be.

"Give direction and ask for feedback" - In any leadership role you are expected to make decisions. I have learned about myself that at times I need to slow down and review the facts again. Making quick decisions is difficult, so good for you if you can do this, but it is also important to review the facts carefully and to take your time. Me personally, I don't mind "being in charge" and leading the pack. In fact, I love it. I love achieving the impossible with a large team of people and achieving goals and results. It drives me. But to compensate for me at times moving too fast, I seek feedback from others. Asking for feedback will give you tremendous insight, no matter how big or small the issue. It actually makes you a better leader and your team will feel included and get behind whatever you are trying to achieve. Listen to your crew, but then with that feedback give direction and be the driving force. So there is a strong relationship between directing and listening.

"Master the details, but don't micromanage" - I have learned from my mistakes. As a young manager and leader I tried doing everything myself. It is impossible let me tell you. If things do not get done right, do them yourself. That doesn't work I am afraid - at least not long term. However, I have learned you have to master the details before you can delegate them. So even to this day when opening a restaurant or starting any project, I perform the job at hand, try to ask all the questions so that I am 100% confident that I can do the job and that I can teach someone to do the job before we ask someone else to do the job for us at the expected standard. Now, this is within reason of course. I am not an IT expert, so I will not try to program our POS systems for a new concept. I will also not try to outcook the Chef (although I am a great cook). But for all operational aspects of our business, if overseeing those workgroups directly or indirectly, I need to have knowledge of the positions and earn the respect of the crew by them seeing me do it. Then we acquire equity and are able to hold them accountable to the standard.

"Find common ground, yet separate yourself" - "flexing" it is called. I went through a Leadership Assessment (DISC) that teaches you about different personality styles. It was very helpful in learning about others as well as about myself and how to be more effective in a group and with individuals. I am considered an "Influencer/promoter" as primary style and "dominant/conductor" as secondary. So in order for me to be effective with others, I have to flex. I learned how to do this and approach different people in different ways and to come prepared. I always find common ground by asking about their lives, their family, their interest. Not because I have to, because I want to. These people you work with are people. They have jobs, bills, worries, families, shop for groceries and get dressed in the morning just like everyone else. We are all the same, so treat them as such. Show interest in their lives and don't fake it, because people will notice your intentions and sense your energy. But also do not get too close. Know where to draw the line. Keep it professional - it is almost an art. Because one day you might sit in front of them and letting them know they have lost their job (the hardest thing to do). So, to my younger self I would say; care about your people, remove road blocks, but don't get too close either.

"Look for what is wrong, yet be positive and forgiving" - Boy, it is hard to turn it off, isn't it? I can't go out for dinner with my wife and kids and not notice light bulbs that are off, wrinkled shirts from employees, a manager that is on their phone, dirty bathrooms. Jeez - does it ever stop? The answer: not it doesn't. If you have this ability, be happy, because not many people have this and teaching this is difficult. So, use your gift and always provide some constructive form of criticism. Do not accept any flaws - ever. Strive for perfection and hopefully we achieve excellence along the way. Be positive, don't beat your people up. If you have the right leadership style, you rarely have to speak up. All you have to do is come into your business and point things out. If you hired the right people, they will feel bad enough for you catching something they didn't. They will hold themselves accountable - trust me. Then be forgiving too. At times, you need to let things go. It is a scary thing to say or write, but it is the truth. No one is perfect, so if your people make mistakes and they were not self serving, and it was the first time - discuss it and let it go. The only reason I am where I am today is because of other people allowing me to make my own mistakes. And I have made them all throughout my career and them some...

"Relentless focus and attention, yet be willing to let go" - This is the hardest thing to teach my younger self. How do you combine passion, drive and ambition with quality of life, less stress and mental health? It is by having high standards, not settling for less, but if things go wrong - be solution focused. Get to the issue at hand, find the cause - resolve the issue and have a check/balance in place to insure that it doesn't happen again. That is it. Don't dwell on it. Take is serious, but let it go. I have worried so much in my life that it has kept me up at night and caused me anxiety. Somehow I have found this little button in my brain where I have been able to turn that noise down from 90% to 30%. It is like reducing physical pain and being able to address the cause of the pain without it hurting - yet still having the realization that you need to address it. It doesn't mean I don't care, in fact it means the opposite; it means I have finally learned how to spend my energy wisely on a solution rather than wasting my energy on worry & stress. I read a book by Eckhart Tolle called "A New Earth" as well as "Stillness Speaks" about awareness and living in the moment. Once you are ready for literature like this, try it. You will gain a lot from being more self aware; less labeling and living in the past, running "I should have done this, next time I will say that..." - scenarios. Let it go. All you can truly control is your own actions, the moment you are in and you can plan for the future. It is quite the gift. I guess that is why it is called "the present". Allow your brain to be a tool, not a nuisance. And finally, know your limits. Someone I know said to me about a year ago: "Alex, when you sit on the beach after a wonderful career and your kids are grown up, what will you be most proud of and what will you regret...?". I am not giving you my answer, rather would let you answer this for yourself.

So there are some helpful hints that most of us learn the hard way. I am grateful for the literature I have found and would recommend everyone to read. Supplement your "data input" and grab a book. Or if you have to, buy audio books and listen on your phone during a workout or in the car. There are so many great writers/teachers out there that will help you become a better person, leader, spouse and parent. Books by John Maxwell, Stephen Covey, Eckhart Tolle, Joel Osteen (you do not need to be religious to read his books), Ken Blanchard - all great stuff. You can cherry pick what resonates with you and develop your own "voice". At the end of this, I will leave you with a quote from John Templeton: "It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."