What I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger and What I Can Do Now

“The lesson I've learned the?most?often in life is that you're always going to?know more?in the future than you?know?now.”?Taylor Swift

Looking back on my life, there are so many lessons I wish I had known sooner. But hindsight is a beautiful teacher, isn’t it? Life doesn’t always give us the lessons we need when we think we need them, but they show up when we’re ready to learn. As I reflect, I can’t help but think about how my journey has shaped me—both the good and the hard parts—and how much I’ve grown from it all.

When I was younger, I often thought that success meant having it all together. I felt like I needed to be perfect—make the right decisions, have the perfect career path, and never show vulnerability. I didn’t realise that true leadership and success are born from mistakes, from being vulnerable, and from admitting when you don’t have all the answers. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self that it’s okay not to know everything. Growth happens in the not knowing, in the uncertainty.

Another big lesson I’ve learned is that self-compassion matters more than perfection. For years, I pushed myself to be the best at everything, thinking that’s what it took to succeed. But looking back, I see how hard I was on myself—how much I expected and how little I offered in terms of kindness and grace. Now, I understand that being kind to yourself is just as important as achieving your goals. It’s in the moments of self-compassion that we find the strength to keep going.

I also wish I had known the value of authenticity. For so long, I thought I had to fit into a mould, to be what others expected of me. But the truth is, when you show up as your real, authentic self, that’s when life begins to align. It’s only by being true to yourself that you can truly connect with others and lead in a way that feels real and meaningful. Authenticity is your superpower, and I wish I’d embraced that earlier.

One of the hardest lessons has been realising that courage is more important than comfort. There were so many moments when I played it safe, choosing comfort over stepping into the unknown. But looking back, I realise that all the breakthroughs in my life came from those times I decided to be brave, to face my fears, and to take a chance. If you’re afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone, trust me—that’s where growth happens.

So, what can I do now with all these lessons?

I can apply this wisdom to my present. I can let go of the need to be perfect and embrace the fact that I’m always learning. Every day is a chance to lead with more kindness, authenticity, and courage. I can use these lessons to shape how I show up—not only in my life but also in my work as a leadership coach and mentor. These are the values I want to embody and the lessons I want to pass on.

I can also focus on sharing these lessons with others. I’ve spent over 17 years teaching and coaching leaders, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that we all have a story, and we’re all capable of growth. The things I wish I’d known when I was younger are things I can now share with others who may need to hear them sooner than I did.

And lastly, I can remind myself, and anyone listening, that it’s never too late. It’s never too late to learn, to grow, to take a new path, or to live a life that feels authentic and purposeful. The wisdom I’ve gained from my journey is something I cherish, and I’m committed to using it now to live out the life I truly want.

Finally...

If I could sit down with my younger self, I’d have a lot more to say. Life has been full of lessons—some that took years to understand, others that came when I least expected them. And while I can’t go back and tell that younger version of me what I know now, I can reflect on how far I’ve come and how much these lessons mean to me today.

When I was younger, I thought life had to follow a specific plan. I believed there was a right path, a certain way things were supposed to unfold, and if I strayed from that, I’d somehow be off track. But now I see that life is more of a winding road than a straight line. The detours, the challenges, the unexpected twists—those were the moments that shaped me. I wish I had known that it’s okay to take your time, to wander, and to embrace the unknown. Life isn’t a race; it’s a journey, and the beauty is in the unfolding.

I’ve also learned that being vulnerable is not a weakness, but a strength. I used to think that showing vulnerability—whether it was admitting I didn’t know something, asking for help, or expressing emotions—meant I wasn’t strong enough. But now I realize that vulnerability is where true connection happens. It’s where real leadership takes root. To be open, to be real, to let others see your heart—that’s courage. I wish I had leaned into that earlier, but I’m grateful for the understanding I have now.

Another thing I wish I had understood is the incredible power of stillness. When I was younger, I often felt like I had to keep moving, keep achieving, keep pushing forward. But in my later years, I’ve learned the profound value of stillness—of taking a step back, being present, and allowing myself to just be. It’s in those quiet moments that I’ve found clarity, peace, and a deeper connection to myself. Stillness is a superpower I’ve come to cherish.

I also used to believe that leadership was about guiding others from the front, always being the one with the answers. But what I now understand is that true leadership is about service. It’s about showing up for others, not from a place of authority, but from a place of care, compassion, and understanding. It’s about listening more than speaking, and leading by example rather than directive. Leadership isn’t a role; it’s a way of being, and I wish I had embraced that earlier. But now that I know it, I live it fully.

Perhaps one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that love and kindness are the ultimate guides. I wish I had understood sooner just how powerful kindness can be—not just toward others but toward myself. Self-compassion is a game-changer. The world can be harsh, and we often become our own worst critics. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to be gentler, to embrace imperfection, and to offer herself the same kindness she so freely gives to others.

Now, I carry these lessons with me, and while I can’t rewrite the past, I can live them today and moving forward. I can choose courage over comfort—taking those leaps that once scared me, knowing that growth is on the other side. I can lead with authenticity, showing up fully as myself and encouraging others to do the same. I can embrace stillness, allowing space for reflection and clarity in a world that often moves too fast.

And perhaps most importantly, I can use these lessons to help others. I can mentor, guide, and uplift those who are just beginning their journey. After 17 years of coaching and teaching leadership, I know that we all have a story, and that story is powerful. I know that leaders are made, not born, and that we all have the capacity for greatness when we tap into our true selves. I know that growth is uncomfortable, but necessary, and that kindness and courage are the foundation of strong, compassionate leadership.

So, what can I do now? I can live out these lessons every day. I can be the leader, mentor, and guide I wish I had when I was younger. I can give myself permission to evolve, to be imperfect, and to keep learning. I can embrace this next chapter with an open heart, knowing that everything I’ve learned has prepared me for what’s to come.

And if there’s one thing I want to share with others, it’s this: it’s never too late. No matter where you are in your journey, no matter how many times you’ve stumbled, there’s always time to grow, to change, and to live the life you’re meant to live. The lessons come when we’re ready to learn them, and when they do, they’re exactly what we need.

I am always here as when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

20 things I taught my 20-year-old daughter that I wish I had known...

? Be kind, but have boundaries – Kindness is strength, but it's okay to say no.

? Embrace your uniqueness – There’s only one you, and that’s your superpower.

? Failures are lessons – Every setback is an opportunity to grow and learn.

? Trust your intuition – It’s your internal compass guiding you in life.

? Courage over comfort – Great things happen outside your comfort zone.

? Invest in relationships – Connection is what truly enriches life.

? Take care of your mental health – Prioritise your well-being as much as your physical health.

? Stand up for what’s right – Even when it’s difficult, integrity matters.

? Lead with compassion – People will remember how you made them feel.

? Keep learning – The world is constantly changing, and so should you.

? Balance is key – Learn to juggle life’s priorities without losing yourself.

? Money is a tool, not the goal – Use it wisely, but don’t let it define your success.

? Don’t fear change – It’s a part of life and often brings new possibilities.

? Be curious, not judgmental – Curiosity leads to understanding; judgment leads to division.

? Self-compassion matters – Be kind to yourself, especially in hard times.

? Celebrate small victories – Progress is progress, no matter how small.

? Protect your energy – Not everything and everyone deserves your time.

? Be present – Life happens in the now, so don’t rush through it.

? Cultivate gratitude – It’s the key to a fulfilled and joyful life.

? You are enough, as you are – Never doubt your worth.

Finally, I would tell her to learn leadership and use her voice.

By Sonia McDonald

Mum to an extraordinary daughter!

Crazy average painter who is getting better

Op Shopper Extraordinaire

Electric Bike Cruiser

Avid Hiker and Explorer

Passionate about Mental Well-Being, especially teenagers

Teacher, Speaker and Writer on everything kindness, leadership, and courage

Coach and mentor to as many exceptional people as possible.

Extraordinary Commitment to building great future leaders and women in leadership.

She loves creating incredible, great cultures, teams and leaders.

Finally, the CEO, leader, and founder of the companies LeadershipHQ , The Leadership Collective , Outstanding Leadership Awards, and an extraordinary team.

Named as one of the Top 250 Influential Women in the world and Top 100 Australian Entrepreneurs by Richtopia, and is internationally recognised as an expert in leadership and culture, organisational development, kindness, and courage, as well as workplace diversity and the neuroscience of leadership.

She has over 30 years of experience in human resource management, leadership, and organisational development and has held leadership positions worldwide. Today, Sonia and her team have worked with thousands of leaders, teams, and organisations, building outstanding leadership and cultures.

Sonia has written several books on leadership, including Leadership Attitude, Just Rock It!, and First Comes Courage. She writes regularly for publications such as The Australian, HRD Magazine, BBC Capital, and Business Insider. She has also spoken on stage for AHRI, HRD Magazine, and many other leading global?HR platforms and conferences.