What I wish I knew 10 years ago

I have been reflecting on all that has transpired in my life of late.

Comparing the reality of today vs the lofty goals I had mapped out in my mind when I walked on that podium to accept my MBA a decade ago.

Am I wiser? Who the heck knows.

I may not have it all figured out, but I do have a solid understanding of what makes me tick, what deflates me, what drives me and what keeps me going.

What follows are my musings on love, life, work and everything in between.

1. Comfort zones are dangerous - find strength through struggle; all progress has stemmed from problems or frustrating plateaus. Why float when you can fly?
2. Spend time with people who energize you, not drain you - sounds simple, but how many of us are guilt-tripped into spending time with toxic people? If you feel worse off after an interaction with someone, it's a red flag.
3. Family is not only who you are related to - just because you're related by blood, doesn't mean they've got your back through thick and thin. Cherish and value your friends.
4. Without your health, you have nothing - pay attention to what you put in your mouth, and in your mind. Get that body moving. Don't dwell or worry.
5. Feel the fear, and do it anyway - take more risks, calculated ones. Better the pain of an undesired outcome than a lifetime of pondering 'what if'.
6. Positivity and gratitude are worth their weight in gold - you will overcome any struggle, any setback, any hurt if you adopt a positive and grateful outlook.
7. Everyday is a learning experience - we each have 24 hours in the day. Use them wisely, use them to improve.
8. Don't trip over - sure, reflect by reviewing and looking back at the past. But not too long. Once you've learned from it, it's time to look forward.
9. Don't be a whinger - stop complaining and harping on about issues. Do something about it, or shut up. It's an unproductive use of your time.
10. Relationships are a two-way street - there's swings and roundabouts, of course. But do not cross oceans for someone who is unwilling to jump over a puddle for you.
11. Thou shalt not judge - you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone is fighting their own internal battle.
12. Fairness should not be expected - this will give you an appreciation of justice. Bad things happen, often to good people. Get over it.
13. There is always a choice - you may not like any of them, and they may not be your Plan A, B or C... but you can make a decision.
14. You do you, and do it well - Everyone else is taken, be yourself and associate with those whose values align with yours.
15. Pay it forward - Karma is real. A candle does not lose its flame by lighting another. Be helpful. Give back. But don't get used and abused.
16. Small things add up - Don't lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness. There is beauty in the simple things.
17. The meaning of life is not classified information - life is whatever meaning you choose to give it. You don't need to seek out the Dalai Lama or live in an ashram to figure it out. Life doesn't have to make sense, it just has to matter. Yours does.
18. Those who come into your life - are they there for a season, a reason or a lifetime? The trick is discerning which bucket they fall into. Recognize and accept far and few between will be in the 'lifetime' category.
19. It's ok to say no - this has become one of my favourite words. The more I say no, the more room in my life for things that make me exclaim "Hell YES!"
20. Life is messy - you will be hurt, betrayed, lied to, taken advantage of and have rotten luck at times. But you know what this teaches you? The importance of loyalty, the power of empathy, the value of not taking things for granted and just how crucial compassion and resilience is.

What do you wish you knew 10 years ago?

I'd love to know.

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If you like what you read, here's more of my musings...

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• Part 1: 7Cs of managing change while managing up
• Part 2: 7Cs of managing change while managing up
• Glass ceiling? No, sticky floor...
• 3 reasons why the best change managers are never in their office
• 5 things NOT to do in a digital transformation
• Part 1: 4 reasons why data-based story is key (but we suck at it!)
• Part 2: 4 reasons why we suck at data-based storytelling
• Part 3: 5 ways to skyrocket the persuasiveness of your data-based stories
• Part 1: 7 signs of a toxic workplace
• Part 2: 7 signs of a toxic workplace
• Servant leadership's role in imparting change
• 10 leadership lessons from the front line of policing
• 5 infuriating stakeholders and how to deal with them
• 3 ambivert advantages - a change manager's insights
• 5 ways change management increases organisational 'health'