What I want you to know about living a straight life as a bisexual woman

It may sound odd – especially having a long career in the DEI space – but it took me some years to truly acknowledge this truth about myself. As I approach two decades of a mostly happy marriage, I have been reflecting on my pre-married life which was filled with the resounding echoes of words like ‘experimenting’, ‘silly’ and ‘it’s just messing around’. The assumption was that I was just young and having fun, that this was not really a part of me.

Fortunately, having witnessed much of this ‘experimenting’, my husband was well aware from our first day together so I’ve never had to hide this part of myself from him. I made a conscious decision, one that I do not regret, to be part of a couple and whilst not for everyone, monogamy is very important to us both. My identity does allow for some interesting debates and commonality at times - we both openly prefer Kate Sharma to Anthony Bridgerton!

In recent years, as being bisexual has become more normalised along with a host of other sexualities, I have wondered how many others are in this position. Back in the 80s and 90s the gay / lesbian scene became much more visible, but it was still very much a world where you were straight or gay / lesbian. Being bisexual was not a visible option.

I suspect there are many men and women in similar situations to myself, perhaps keeping that part of themselves locked away.

Whilst it is not something I have tended to share widely – it doesn’t typically come up in conversation when you’re married – it is a part of me that I want to acknowledge and be more open about. When asked for my diversity demographics I share that I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community. I am open with my kids about all aspects of my earlier life ensuring it is normalised for them.

Maybe if I were a teenager in today’s world, I would make different life choices in what is a different societal context. Yet my choice to live a straight life does not mean giving up part of my identity. The beauty of being human and intersectional allows us to celebrate all aspects of who we are.