What I want my son to be when he grows up?

That's the million-dollar question on every parent's mind, so is mine, knowing very well that I won't have any control over his decision. 

I thought about this and have come to a realisation that I don’t want him to be ultra-successful in his career. Yes, somewhat paradoxical thought, but be with me on this for a while. 

I don't want him to be an IITs or an IIM graduate. After all, I have seen these guys who, while chasing bigger dreams of their lives, losing out on living the smaller dreams, tiny moments of happiness like other children because they cannot afford to waste their time. This time, which could have made many memories, is invested in the future that they and their parents are themselves unsure of. 

Of course, these smart kids grow up to be entrepreneurs and consultants, earn loads of money but what they don't learn, is how to spend that money in buying happiness. This happiness is very vicious, happiness that money can buy comes with a lot of side effects. I have seen these successful people getting drowned in the swamp of sex, drugs, other illusions. Many times they don't even know how to digest early success or have the heart to brave the failure. They break fast, don’t fight and become victims of modern world illnesses that were never heard of before. In search of the illusory success, they sacrifice family, friends, hobbies and life in general. 

I have grown up in a 90sq.ft. small house in one of Mumbai’s many slums, I am no more ashamed to say it aloud. I completed my entire schooling is probably the amount that would equal to my son's monthly school fees. I saw the devil computer only when I was in class seven. We didn't even have a TV set forget landline phones at homes. Electricity was rented per bulb basis and toilets were shared community lavatories. I used to be very ashamed of getting any of my friends to my house. Never really discussed my locality with my office colleagues. 

But now when I turn back I see there is so much that place taught me, that no IIT would ever come even close. That place taught us real survival skills. We now get paranoid when it rains a bit, our homes used to get filled with dirty water in rains every year. I was 32 when we were forced to move into a flat because of certain circumstances since then I never found a friend who will get into a street fight with me and defend me against any number of opponents. Toilets were shared, but every morning our day used to start meeting friends and sharing laughter on anything and everything. After dinner, I used to spend time with friends sitting, chatting and laughing aloud past midnight. We never remembered closing our doors through the day. If food prepared in our own house wasn't interesting, it was easy to ask whatever interesting the neighbour must have cooked. When Mumbai was fighting riots, we had the highest level of assurance not on Police, but knowing our neighbours would be there any given point in time. 

Cricket, Kabaddi, and so many games we played easily, which I would be nervous if my son attempted. When I was 9, my legs and head had so many bruises and hurt mark, and my son is clean, if he falls slightly we create more noise than him. Families were tightly bonded, even when most husbands used to come home drunk at night and create a ruckus. When someone used to get hospitalised, visiting hours in the hospital would turn into a club with all neighbours coming to check on you. While getting admitted into a hospital, you would easily have 10 neighbours coming along with you, then each one proactively decides who would stay at night. 

All this I missed when I moved out, I started earning more, thought little luxury family deserves but never understood how much that little would mean? I work almost all the time, I don't spend as much time with my son and wife, as my dad had spent with me. I often feel guilty my mom was happier there than being alone in the 1BHK. I stopped playing years back. I laugh like mad, only if I occasionally meet my old friends. I am wise enough to know that I am chasing something that I would never enjoy, yet cannot get myself out of the chase. 

I don't want my son to get into the same chase. Honestly, I don't mind if he does not reach the highest level of education or does not get a very high paying job. 

I want him to learn how to be happy, enjoy the success of achieving small dreams, laugh out with friends, go drinking, get into fights, abuse, love passionately and live like a human. I want him to learn to win hearts and have a wealth of friends. I want him to have a family that he would truly care for. I want him to spend time with his children and wife as my dad did. 

I don’t want him to be successful, I want him to be like my dad. Simple, happy man, with minimum desires and maximum strength to fight any adversary. 

Having a will to kill is good but learning the skill to survive is paramount.

PS: This is my FB profile and the opinions are strictly mine, without any intention of undermining any institutions or lives of others.

#Life #Success #Failure #ModernWorld #OldWorld #Happiness #Family #Children #Parents #LifeManagement