What if I told you having rocks in your head isn't so bad after all!

I grew up with a beautiful Asian Mother with a Buddhist influence which, has taken well into my adult life to truly understand and appreciate. I studied Buddhism at the Chung Tian Temple for a period of time when I needed healing and a path to find my True Self. Buddhism beliefs and philosophies are based on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama Buddha and I would like to share the word “equanimity” which is used to describe the idea of balance or having an even mind.

I believe being able to find equanimity is essential for all of us, particularly when overwhelming emotions come up in our lives. A state of equanimity is not one of passivity or indifference, rather it is a space of stillness, connection and compassion, an empowered state in which we negotiate understanding with trust and questioning with acceptance.

 Let me share this Buddhist poem from the Therigatha:

 If your mind becomes firm like a rock

and no longer shakes

In a world where everything is shaking

Your mind will be your greatest friend

and suffering will not come your way.

To have a trained mind with deep insight and that is unshakable is our greatest friend, that is equanimous.

As we grow through life we learn that we cannot control what other people say and do, we can only ever control the way we respond and open ourselves to experience life, without being lost in reactions of love and hate. This Buddhist teaching provides wisdom that when the mind doesn’t shake, we can stay with the truth of things long enough to have a deep insight which is a powerful quality supporting and strengthening other qualities we develop and posses. 

I do believe that whatever balance we can bring forth is the result of choosing not to be hostile of our feelings, to instead keep a space that allows wisdom to expand which keeps us from getting lost in immediate reactivity. Sometimes in life things for whatever the reason don’t turn out the way we want them to, equanimity saturates the mind with a calm radiance and an internal state of composure. 

Every day moments and experiences change, one moment there is pleasure, and the next there is pain, and then there are experiences that are neither pleasurable nor painful. I was inspired to write as I was presented with a painful situation, this became an opportunity to work with equanimity, to embrace the obstacle and open myself to the challenge. This Mindfulness practice allows me experience the situation from a state of non-attachment and without blame, judgment or distortion. 

Equanimity frees us from thinking of good and bad that the Ego can often take hold of. This practice allows acceptance of all that is, providing detachment from the struggle and in its place there is contentment and gratitude for all that we already have. Today I take comfort living with this philosophy and an appreciation for developing an attitude of standing back, observing, and not getting emotionally caught up, which has created space enabling me to generate compassion, humility, generosity, and kindness towards self others. 

If you are looking for an antidote for triggers that are difficult for you to keep your cool consider placing equanimity in the front of your mind and make equanimity your golden rule, it can be as simple as taking a few long, slow deep breaths and literally counting to 10. You’ll be glad you remained balanced, grounded and centered. 

All life experiences invite us to grow in Spirit and if we understand how our thoughts are constantly changing and learn to relax right in the middle of conflict-filled moments we can find freedom, joy and equanimity.  

May you all have peace and radiate equanimity. 

 Lai