What I Thought Growing Up Would Look Like, and the Reality I Found

When I was young, I thought that growing up meant having all the answers. Now I see that it’s about learning to live with the questions.

When I was younger, I was convinced that 18 would be the age where everything just clicked. I imagined a version of myself who was wiser, more independent, with a clear sense of purpose. By 18, I would be in university, having the time of my life, free to make my own choices and chase my dreams. I thought I'd have it all figured out—especially my career path.

But as life would have it, things didn’t turn out exactly as I had envisioned. The freedom I imagined didn’t come with a clear roadmap, and it certainly didn’t come with a pause on personal growth.

Realizing That Growth is Not a Finish Line but a Journey

One of the biggest surprises I encountered was that growth isn’t an age you reach; it’s a continuous process that unfolds over time. There’s no magic age where everything suddenly makes sense. In fact, it often feels like the more I learn, the more I realize how much more there is to understand. Growth happens in stages, and each stage reveals new challenges and new insights, requiring us to stretch and adapt in ways we hadn’t anticipated.

The Myth of "Having It All Figured Out" ??

I was certain that by the time I entered adulthood, I would have my career path set in stone. But one of the truths that came with maturity was realizing that careers, like people, evolve. Our interests, values, and priorities shift as we gain new experiences and meet different people. Each new phase brings its own questions, and “figuring it out” becomes a continuous process rather than a destination. And that’s okay.

Redefining Independence

As a child, independence looked like freedom from external control—like having the liberty to make my own choices without parental oversight. But what I’ve discovered is that independence is more about taking responsibility for those choices. It’s about understanding that freedom also involves accountability. The independence I once yearned for now feels like an invitation to take ownership of my journey, one decision at a time.

Embracing the Uncertainty of the Journey

The path to adulthood isn’t a straight line but more of a winding road filled with unexpected twists and turns. This journey can be intimidating, especially when the vision you once held for yourself starts to look different. But I've come to understand that uncertainty can be a powerful teacher. The questions, the doubts, and the detours all serve a purpose in shaping who we become.

??What I’ve Learned and What I’m Still Learning

• Growth requires patience and resilience – It’s okay not to have it all figured out. Being open to learning and adapting is a strength.
• The right path isn't always a straight path – Detours and challenges are often what give us clarity on our goals and values.
• Self-awareness is ongoing – The person I am today might not be the person I am five years from now, and that's part of evolving.
• True independence is more about responsibility than freedom – Making my own choices also means being accountable for them, which has been one of the most empowering yet challenging lessons.

To Anyone Who’s Also Still Figuring Things Out ??

To those who might be younger or just starting out on their journey: know that personal and professional growth is rarely linear. Life has a way of surprising us, and that’s part of what makes it worthwhile. Embrace the unknown, be patient with yourself, and stay curious.

So, while 18 wasn’t the finish line I once envisioned, I’m grateful for the journey it’s turned out to be. Each step has brought me closer to understanding not just what I want to do, but who I want to become. And for me, that is what growing up is really about.

Concluding Note:

Growth doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and adulthood doesn’t come with a timeline. Each of us has our own unique path to follow, filled with lessons that only experience can teach. And perhaps the most significant lesson of all is that we never really “arrive”—we’re all just learning, growing, and becoming. So, here’s to embracing the journey, however uncertain it may seem.