What I read last week: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do — Amy Morin

What I read last week: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do — Amy Morin


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What should we do differently to be successful and think successful? The book by Amy Morin - 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do , is an eye-opener to such thought patterns. You must be aware of what a mindset is. If you are not, let me elaborate.?


What is mindset?

Mindset is a set of beliefs that shapes how anyone makes sense of the world and about the self. Mindset determines how a person thinks, feels, and behaves in any situation [1].

Amy Morin , in this book, tries to elaborate with some real-life stories of achievers and common folk about how minuscule thought patterns make a difference in the lives of people.?

She outlines 13 such thought patterns or things that successful people do not indulge in. These patterns are prevalent for any common folk who indulge in these thoughts, clearly revealing what we must do to ensure that we have the right mindset for growth.?

This book helped me to clear out and red mark these thought patterns. Let's read about what these 13 forbidden thought patterns are.


  • Replace self-pity with gratitude

Most people around us are prone to self-pity. The loathe can be about extra work on the day or thinking about how life is brutal to them when something unplanned comes across.? I cannot explain how painful it is to hear people victimise themselves and loathe how they are unlucky, tired and exhausted by life.

Life is excellent and abundant. It's just how you react to things. Stop being a victim in your own story.?

  • Protect Your Power by Forgiving Others

Choosing forgiveness has increased pain tolerance, reduced stress, and helped people live longer [2]. Don’t be sorry about everything or blame yourself for every wrong deed that happens to other people. But, If someone did terrible towards you, forgive them and move on. Don't be stuck on that one event. It is arduous; yes, I have tried it. It's worth the effort. These thoughts are not worth anyone's time and let alone the time and mind of a successful person. Accept what happened, and learn, move on.

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  • Embrace Change Rather Than Shying Away From It

Have you ever read a beautiful book called who moved my cheese? This book is a narrative about how mice in a maze behave when their cheese goes missing, or an unnatural change comes your way. I still remember when my High School teacher recommended it to me, and to this day, I haven't been bothered about who moved my cheese.

Change is unavoidable and how you react to it makes all the difference. Introspection is a great way to understand what could have gone right( Do not overthink). Amy outlines below mentioned five ways to make significant improvements.?

  1. Create a 30-day goal: Setting achievable goals is a way toward success.? I hope you remember last week's article about goal setting .?
  2. Daily changes and action: Success doesn't come in a day. Ensure that you cultivate proper habits to move towards that goal.?
  3. With experience comes wisdom: Once you have made inevitable mistakes anticipate them and move out of their way.
  4. Be Accountable: Ask your friends and family to check on your progress if you are trying to quit smoking or alcohol. Being part of a support group or speaking to the right people always helps.?
  5. Monitor your progress. To ensure accountability, you can write down the improvements and steps in the journal and ensure that you are accountable while tracking the progress.


  • Become Comfortable With Displeasing Others

You are not born to please everyone you meet. Saying ‘No’ to things is not rude but necessary. Sometimes we exhaust more than we get. Take that decision, and associate with people who align with your goals, ideas and mindset.?

  • Learn to Take Calculated Risks

Taking risks is part of growth. Boats and ships are meant to ride open waters on waves and not be preserved on shores. It doesn't mean that you jump off the cliff without a parachute. Amy has outlined an exercise to rule out how to take risks.

  1. Review the pros and cons of taking a risk.
  2. Imagine the worst thing that could happen.
  3. Come up with a plan for the worst-case scenario.
  4. Ask, “will this risk matter in five years?”.

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  • Come to Terms With Your Past

Everyone has negative memories of childhood or personal experiences, making it hard to progress ahead. But if you allow your dark past to bother you, you might skip out on a happy future. Do you know how troubled Oprah Winfrey's childhood was? Suppose she would have wasted all her power thinking about what happened to her and then building a remarkable life. To make peace with your history, understand the emotional toll of the past instead of charging ahead. Then forgive anyone who may have mistreated you and modify attitudes that keep you stuck in the past. Letting go of bad experiences from your history is a tough graft. Seeking expert support while you do this is always a significant investment.


  • Focus on things you can control rather than things you can’t.

?Multiple factors influence life, and sometimes we cannot control it. Focus on things that you can control, like your reactions, feelings and how you perceive the event. Try to understand both sides of the coin. Wasting your time to keep everything perfect is?

  • Avoid Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over Again

Whenever any problem occurs, it can be natural to beat yourself up. But the truly mentally strong ask themselves two questions when they make a mistake: How could I have done it better, and what might I do differently next time?


  • Collaborate With Other People Instead of Envying Their Success

Resentment and jealousy are common human traits, but with the proper perspective, you may build on other people's success and power rather than languishing in envy. The next time you experience a tinge of jealousy for someone else's achievement, think of how you may celebrate their accomplishments and work with them in the future.


  • Be Tenacious and Accept Your Failures

Tenacity, not talent or luck, is the secret to success. Live up to your potential, commit to self-compassion, focus on learning and improving and be ardent about it, rather than instant gratification and growth.


  • Embrace Alone Time

Try frequently taking aside some time to think about your life objectives and if you're on track to accomplishing them. Listen to your emotions and identify any unpleasant feelings which need to be resolved. Journaling or meditating during this hour can be a powerful tool to cleanse the waste from your mind like you would de-fragment a hard drive to make it function faster.


  • Focus on Giving Rather Than Taking

Whether you're trying to get along better with your co-workers, develop genuine friendships, or discover a career you love, avoid thinking the world owes you something in return for your hard work. Instead, concentrate on how much you can contribute. You will be far happy about it.

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References:?

  1. Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Mindset. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved April 24, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mindset
  2. Carson, James & Keefe, Francis & Goli, Veeraindar & Lynch, Thomas & Thorp, Steven & Buechler, Jennifer. (2005). Forgiveness and chronic low back pain: A preliminary study examining the relationship of forgiveness to pain, anger, and psychological distress. The journal of pain: official journal of the American Pain Society. 6. 84-91. 10.1016/j.jpain.2004.10.012.


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