What I Learnt from Reading the Book ''What Got You Here Won’t Get You There"

Book Summary: "What Got You Here Won't Get You There"

by Marshall Goldsmith

Subtitled "How Successful People Become Even More Successful"

The book focus on what causes the most talented ambitious and successful professionals and leaders to hit a career roadblock, almost all the professionals which the author work with had interpersonal issues which either didn't matter in the early phases of their career or the professionals were so talented that they progressed despite those issues.

Mr. Marshall Goldsmith - the author - is an expert at helping global leaders overcome their sometimes-unconscious annoying habits and attain a higher level of success, The author in the section one starts by explaining that the challenge with those successful people or successful leaders is sometimes coming from what he called: “The Success Delusion” which come with success and not failure, it is created from that those leaders achieve success as a result of a set of beliefs and habits. Unfortunately, the same set of beliefs and habits can prevent them from reaching the next level of achievement, like for example: wanting to win is a good motivation and good habit which can turn to the habit of winning too much, here the person will not select the right win and want to win in every battle and every occasion. ?Another example, they believe in their skills and talent they are confident optimistic about themselves but the downside is that their optimism can lead to over commitment sometimes or to overestimate of their contribution to the project, to exaggerate the impact of the project on net income because they ignore the actual hidden costs built into the project (cost is a problem for others, success is their problem), the partial or total awareness of outcomes that truly belong to others all this can limit their leadership and success.

So, The author offers ways to attack these challenges by outlining twenty habits commonly found in the corporate environment and provides a systematic approach to helping them achieve a positive change in behavior.

?The author ?believe that as we advance in the career behavioral changes are the only significant changes can be make however most successful people are confused or denial when asked to change they can go far by rejecting to receive criticisms and say: “why is a smart guy like me listening to a loser like you” so The author ?informs us that people will do something including changing their own behavior only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their best self-interest as defined by their own values the usual motives behind self-interest are : money, power, status and popularity and these are the hot buttons to press to make them change. He also, think that the most important when it is coming to coach leaders or this kind of successful people is to teach them what to stop more than what they should do, it is by instead of using usual “To Do” list, start using more “To Stop” list.

The first things The author is teaching us in his book is to stop judging that all the habits must be positive or negative, some of it is simply neutral, also, when it is coming to change some habits and behaviors will be easier if instead to try achieving the goal of “being nicer.” we just need to “stop being a jerk.”, which means that most of us have been guilty of most of these habits at some point in our lives. It's okay; it's all part of being human. However, for many leaders, a few of these behaviors are practiced with such regularity and intensity that they become a source of concern for others around them. Leaders should not be concerned with eliminating ALL of these behaviors, but rather with identifying 1-2 that have become a behavioral bottleneck for their future success. After, in the section two The author illustrates twenty habits annoying which are:

1.????Winning too much: Leaders are frequently obsessed with winning. This will to win is what propels them to success. Winning becomes a habit over time. When pursued to its logical conclusion, desiring to win becomes an addiction! They want to win when it is important, when it is insignificant, and when it makes no sense at all. It is OK to let others "win." Leaders should not focus solely on themselves and their achievement.

2.????Adding too much value:?People frequently seek counsel from the leader. Leaders are used to dealing with issues that others bring to them. It is part of their work to give directions and recommendations. The issue arises when something is taken to its logical conclusion. When leaders hear other people's ideas, they have a tendency to offer their two cents worth. It frequently irritates others. Employees are more committed to their own ideas. When people receive unsolicited advice, their commitment to carry out the idea is greatly reduced.

3.????Passing judgment: Every individual is unique. They think differently, value different things, and make different judgments. In reality, no two people are precisely same. Leaders frequently desire to judge people by their own standards and see those who do not meet these artificial criteria as inferior. For example, if a leader is an early riser, he or she may assume that everyone who arrives late is a slacker! A competent leader lets people do things their own way as long as they all work toward the same objective. A good leader does not force their way of life on others.

4.????Making destructive comments:

When a leader speaks negative things about others, it lowers the morale of those around him. Leaders frequently mask harsh comments as sarcasm or comedy. It damages others' sentiments, even if the leader thinks they sound clever. Calling individuals names, insulting them, and labeling them are all detrimental to the team's engagement and productivity.

5.????Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”:

Assume a team member proposes a creative idea. The leader's following phrase may begin with no, it won't work, but this proposal has issues, or I have heard your thoughts – however, it hasn't worked in the past. When leaders respond with one or more of these terms, they are effectively saying that whatever the other person stated was erroneous and that the leader's perspective was accurate. Instead of using one of these words, just say "that is an intriguing idea."

6.????Telling the world how smart we are:

This harmful behavior supports the leader's ego. The majority of an egoistic leader's speech is frequently directed at two things:

1. Discussing the leader's intelligence or

2. How others aren't that bright!

Both of these actions are inefficient and diminish participation. Leaders must simply break this behavior.

7.????Speaking when angry:

Leaders frequently justify losing their calm as a technique for managing and controlling others, but this is a primitive strategy that does significant harm. It is degrading and insulting. There is no reason to lose your calm.

8.????Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”:

Leaders must motivate people to do new things. The polar opposite of that is negativity. When a fresh concept or an alternative method of doing things is presented, leaders inadvertently dismiss it by stating, "Let me explain why it won't work." The objective of a leader is to stimulate fresh ideas and creativity; this behavior merely stifles it. A simple response -?"that is an intriguing idea/perspective" is a far better.

9.????Withholding information:

The leader's influence in the industrial era derived from controlling information and resources. Many leaders are still guilty of hiding information. The free flow of information and ideas is critical for success in today's business world. A poor habit that reduces team engagement and productivity is not passing on information down the line just to get an advantage over others.

10.?Failing to give proper recognition:

Appreciation and acknowledgment are free weapons in a leader's armory that are effective motivators. The most fundamental kind of disrespect is failing to recognize a job well done. When a leader withholds well-deserved credit, it demotivates the team.

11.?Claiming credit that we don’t deserve:

It is one thing not to acknowledge. However, taking credit for outstanding work done by others is both disrespectful and disheartening. A good leader does the exact opposite. She attributes success and performance to the team. Finally, the success of the team reflects the performance of the leaders.

12.?Making excuses:

Leaders are prone to rationalizing their actions and behaviors. People may see straight through a boss who arrives late for a meeting and then blames it on traffic or the executive assistant. Excuses undermine trust and respect. The solution for this harmful behavior is accepting responsibility.

13.?Clinging to the past:

According to Marshall Goldsmith, blaming individuals and situations from the past for current issues or failures is a negative leadership practice. It's trendy to blame our habits on our parents, upbringing, or environment. However, as adults, we must take responsibility for our current behavior rather than blaming the past.

14.?Playing favorites

As?human nature; leaders choose individuals with similar backgrounds, working styles, and who "suck up" to them. However, as a leader, this alienates those who may give results but are not the leader's favorites - because they are not similar or don't suck up! The team will always perform less than its potential without diversity, tolerance, and belonging.

15.?Refusing to express regret:

The natural thing to do if a leader's behavior or action causes others inconvenience or injury is to apologize. Leaders, on the other hand, have difficulties doing so. It is natural for humans to make mistakes. Not apologizing for unintentional or intentional mistakes instills anger in others and lowers the leader's brand value.

16.?Not listening:

Listening is an important part of being a leader. Leaders typically rise through the ranks because of their technical abilities and their ability to direct and coach others. When the leader has to get things done via people as a leader, though, not listening implies a reduced degree of trust and dedication from your team members. Not listening implies that the leader is uninterested in his team opinions and ideas.?it effectively says: ‘You are not significant enough for me to listen to you.’

17.?Failing to express gratitude:

It costs nothing to say thank you, and it stimulates the team. Leaders sometimes struggle to show thanks. An outstanding leader never misses an opportunity to openly thank and acknowledge others' achievements.

18.?Punishing the messenger:

Leaders become enraged when they receive bad news and penalize the messenger. People eventually cease delivering any bad news to the leader. As a leader, you'd want to know as quickly as possible if things aren't going as planned. When a leader punishes the person who delivers bad news, he may be the last person on the team to notice when things aren't going as planned.

19.?Passing the buck:

According to The author, it is trendy to place blame on parents, society, upbringing, the media, Hollywood, and other factors for how individuals turn out! We must accept responsibility for our current acts as adults and leaders, regardless of what has transpired in the past. When things go wrong, leaders never point the finger at others or circumstances, they just accept responsibility.

20.?An excessive need to be

When a leader uses the justification "This is how I am," he or she is justifying a harmful behavior that cannot be changed. The first step in any change or improvement is to become aware of the problem. Acceptance of the problem is the next stage. There is minimal possibility of progress when a leader asserts, "This is how I am."

The Twenty-First Habit: Goal Obsession:

The author made a special chapter to this habit, it is obvious that he gave a big importance to it, basically, this habit is not bad but he considers it as the root cause of the twenty annoying behavior, as much as it is good to have this habit to overcome obstacles and challenges to achieve and succeed, going to the extremism of it made us losing the inner compass of our life.

The author in the section three revels that if we can catch the big picture, we can see that the most interpersonal issues revolve on two?factors: information and emotion. And he offers to readers a seven steps plan for fixing these bad behaviors, both individually and as a whole.

?1.????Feedback:

Successful people, according to The author , have just two difficulties with negative feedback, both of which are major issues: (a) they don't want to hear it from us, and (b) they don't want to offer it to them. Obtaining honest, confidential input, on the other hand, is crucial in determining what a person needs to improve. The author prefers to do a 360-degree feedback evaluation, which involves gathering feedback on his client from all of the persons with whom he or she routinely interacts. The knowledge discovered that is known to others but unknown to ourselves is the most fascinating (in other words our "blind spots"). Never argue with someone who provides you with feedback in any manner. Instead, write it down and think about it later when your raging emotions have subsided. Thank the individual for their suggestions, set it aside for a bit, then come back to it with a fresh perspective. You'll almost always discover something particular you can improve on. Don't be hesitant to ask for criticism if you want to be proactive, but never quarrel about it.

2.????Apologizing: If you discover you've done anything wrong recently or in the past, you should apologize. Take a deep breath, walk up to the individual, and apologize for whatever it is. You'll probably both feel better as a result of it - you'll shed at least part of the negative feelings, and the other person will likely feel better as well (almost always). Apologizing, according to the author, is "the most wonderful, healing, restorative act human beings can do." And it's at the heart of his work with CEOs who want to improve, because "there is no awareness that errors have been done, no proclamation to the public of the intention to change, and, most importantly, there is no emotional commitment between you and the people you care about" without it. An apology is the first step in the healing process. His straightforward method of apologizing is to say "I'm sorry. In the future, I'll endeavor to do better." Then you remain silent. Explain nothing. Don't overthink things. It is not qualified. Simply apologize before informing the rest of the world.

3.????Telling the world, or advertising What are your plans to change now that you've apologized? The next stage is to specify the adjustments you'll make and inform everyone, especially those you've to apologize to them. Apologies are meaningless unless they are accompanied by a willingness to change. It's not enough to say you want to improve; you must specify exactly what you want to alter. It's a lot tougher to alter people's perceptions of your conduct than it is to change your behavior, according to the author, and you have to get 100 percent better to gain 10% credit from your coworkers. However, your chances rise dramatically if you tell people you're trying to change and how hard you're working to do so, and if you repeat the message week after week. And if you ask everyone for suggestions to help you improve, your chances improve even more.

4.????Listening: Pay attention when someone speaks to you. Don't interrupt them, and try to grasp all they're saying before responding. When someone tries to chat to you, this is usually a good approach to utilize. If you can't completely define and articulate the message someone is attempting to convey to you, your reaction will almost certainly be less accurate and thorough than if you paid attention to the message and the messenger. According to The author , how effectively we listen accounts for 80% of our success in learning from others. However, contrary to popular belief, listening is not a passive activity in which you sit and do nothing while someone else speaks. Good listeners see their work as a very active process that involves every muscle in the body, especially the brain. In general, all good listeners do the following three things: They consider what they're about to say before speaking; they listen with respect; and they constantly assess their answer by questioning whether what they're about to say is worth what the other person will feel after hearing it.

5.????Thanking: Thanking is effective because it reflects one of our most fundamental feelings: thankfulness. Saying "thank you" is an important part of etiquette and being courteous, and if done properly, may bring an end to any potentially contentious conversation. What do you say when someone expresses gratitude? You can't attempt to convince them otherwise. You can't overrule them, become upset with them, or ignore them. Just remember to thank everyone who has contributed to your achievement, both directly and publicly when the opportunity arises.

6.????Following up:?Follow up on these items once you've begun to actually work on them and eliminated the harmful behaviors from your life. After a few months, ask the individual to whom you apologized if things are still going well and whether you are sticking to your "advertised" strategy. Maintain your diligence and attempt to remind yourself of your objectives on a regular basis. Continuous follow-up keeps you on track and focused in any situation, in other words, you must follow up ruthlessly once you have mastered the delicate skills of apologizing, advertising, listening, and thanking. Every month or so, revisit coworkers and get their feedback and recommendations. If you do this, your coworkers will gradually accept that you are improving - not because you say it, but because they see it. The final step is that people don't get better without follow-up, according to Goldsmith's research. Following up demonstrates that you are committed to improving. Following up with coworkers demonstrates that you respect their input. And continuously following up demonstrates that you are committed to the process. It is a journey, a process, not an event, to become a better person.

7.????Practicing “feedforward”: You've made significant progress against your bad behaviors at this time. Now take a step back and seek future advice on where you should take these adjustments. "Feedforward" is similar to feedback in that it discusses the future. It's a straightforward concept with four basic steps:

1) Choose one behavior that would make a significant, positive difference in your life;

2) describe this goal in a one-on-one conversation with anyone you know;

3) ask that person for two future suggestions that might help you achieve a positive change in our chosen behavior (these two ideas represent feedforward);

and 4) listen carefully to the suggestions. In no manner assess, rank, or criticize the recommendations. "Thank you" is the only acceptable answer. Then, with others, repeat the four-step process.

In the section four, The author addresses the topic of Pulling Out the Stops in which he mentioned eight rules:

1.????This process works for behavioral change only. It will not help the leader to gain technical knowledge or skills.??

2.????There is no need to change every single one of the 20 habits. Pick one or two that will make the biggest difference.

3.????Understand that it takes courage to admit you need to change. It also takes a lot of time, energy, and effort to successfully change.

4.????Allow yourself to get honest comments.

5.????Don't be concerned about being flawless! Humans are fallible creatures that make errors. It is OK!

6.????We must measure any behavior in order to alter it.

7.????It is quite beneficial in terms of monetizing the outcomes. As a fee or punishment for bad behavior, use modest sums of money. Because leaders have a strong desire to succeed, this helps them expedite behavior change.

8.????Now is the perfect moment to make a change. There will always be something that is considered urgent. The reality is that if we wait for the perfect moment to change, we may end up waiting an eternity.

In the end of the book, the author, mention a set of a dedicated notes to be stopped by managers or leaders, as big part of fixing the bad behavior plan relying on the feedbacks so managers are asked to stop having a non-accurate or an accurate but irrelevant self-assessment. Self-examination is a proven way to get the people to talk to each other. But managers should be cautious their memo must be brutally?honest. It is necessary for the personnel to feel it is accurate. Most importantly, people must feel it is significant. If managers don't meet all three criteria, all the plan will fail.

Another, important note was leaders should never tolerate the lack of discipline and rigor, it is very important that manager and his team member understand that they need each other like a two-way street, they’re dependent on the leader ways that may have nothing to do with on-the-job performance. Leader should find the fine line between legitimate face time and get-out-of-my-face time. The author also emphasize that manager should do follow-up to their messages, they should ask individuals if they heard their message the next day after they send it out. Then they should inquire as to whether they comprehended it. Then they should inquire whether they did anything about it a few days later. If the first follow-up question fails to get their attention, the second, third, and fourth will. Next, The author advice the managers to stop being prejudiced about their employees and this by thinking they know what their teammates and employees want, thinking that they know what they know, by hating their selfishness and by thinking that they can always get someone else. Finally, The author advice the managers to stop trying to coach Individuals who shouldn’t be coached, those Individuals can be:

- Individuals who do not believe they have a problem.

- Individuals who are following the incorrect plan for the company.

- employees who should not be working.

- Those who believe that everyone else is the issue.

The end of the book was a call of wisdom to let reader rethink about their priorities, about what really will make them happy, about their future resolution for their next futures years and to help the to do it by themselves as this can’t be done by someone else, The author asked to imagine themselves giving the best advices from personal and professional perspective to younger from the death bed, just make them as future resolutions and start pursuing them. Also, The author shared some veracious answer gotten from persons on their death bed who advices to start living the present and to avoid the disease of living in future, to start enjoying what was achieved and what was gotten and not wait for what will be gotten. To take care about persons who really care about them, to pass more time with their friends and families the persons who their continuous support and presence does not much any value. Also, The author is inviting the readers to always dream big and follow their dreams because studies showed that people who lived following their dreams lived more happier, he also, mentioned to enjoy the journey and not the destination when following the dreams, because the more important for The author is that the persons tried regardless, he reached or not his dream.

The call was to let the readers think on happiness, friendships, relationships,?pursuing aspirations,?finding purpose and?fulfilment?more than on money or just short-term achievement.

Abderrahmane TEKFI