What I learnt from playing music as a child

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I played in the Merseyside Youth Orchestra Reunion concert at the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Hall and I'm still buzzing with joy! What a privilege to have the chance to play amazing music with an orchestra of 100+ multi generational people, 3 world-class conductors, and some people I haven't seen for AGES (including Alexander Van Ingen Sara Carroll Catherine Smale Caroline Van Ingen and Stephanie Oade). Plus it gave me chance to step back in time, reflect on and reconnect with an important part of my personal history. I've captured these reflections here because:

1. There are some leadership lessons I hope are insightful for you to reflect on and think about how your experiences have made you who you are.
2. I'm shocked at the depth of government cuts to music education and deeply concerned about the impacts of that on our whole society and want to share some ideas on how you can help.
3. And I'd like to explain more about how I work as a Leadership coach and facilitator in case you're interested in working with me.

But first, let me rewind a little...

I started playing the flute aged 9 and passed my Grade 8 by age 14, and Grade 8 piano a couple of years later. Between 9 and 21, I was a member of multiple youth orchestras travelling Europe performing concerts, sightseeing and generally having lots of fun with a bunch of teenagers loosely monitored by a few teachers!

My friends and I also set up a wind quintet (shout out to Kenny Sturgeon Justin Martindale MW Jonathan Calvert and Simon Davies), and we learnt about running a small business, getting paid to play concerts, garden parties and weddings. We also learnt the harsh lesson of not having a legal contract and then being ghosted by a Doctor from Southport who never paid us for our performance at his daughter's wedding...

Aged 16 I won the County music scholarship and used the prize money to buy my super duper electronic synthesiser (haha how cool was I?!) which I then used to write music and play in a rock band called Eve with friends including Georgia Rooney Kate Fitzpatrick and Krystal Hall.

I then went on to study Music at York University which I loved - A big thank you goes to my Mum and Dad who encouraged me to follow my passion at university and not be channelled into taking a "more serious degree that will get you a job" as I was told by one schoolteacher. I also met and made music with lots of amazing people who've gone on to do amazing things including Sam Jackson Tarek Merchant Aga Serugo-Lugo Julia Strong Quintilla Wikeley Jonathan Williams Neil Valentine Emily Worthington, Kerry Andrews and so many more.

Although I didn't follow a career in music it has continued to play a big part in my life. When I moved to Japan aged 21 I joined a choir in my rural town of Murayama along with mostly people over the age of 60. I also entered a national karaoke competition on live TV (which unsurprisingly I did not win!!) and was a member of a local Japanese rock band.

Music has shaped who I've become.

Writing this article has made me really realise what I took from all those early experiences with music and how they have shaped who I am today. My very structured personality loves a list (!) so here's 6 core skills I think I grew as a result of learning music as a child: Teamwork, Vulnerability, Discipline, Performing under Pressure, Creativity and Resilience.

1. Teamwork and communication: You have to work so hard to make music sound cohesive and meaningful in a group, especially a symphony orchestra of 80-100 players. I learnt how to listen to those around me to make sure I stayed in tune, in time, blended with them and didn't dominate. And then the constant process of improvement, giving and receiving feedback to help each other get better together. How often do I have conversations with managers and leaders about encouraging these behaviours in their teams now? I grew up around these conversations - they were a normal part of being a great team, not something to be feared (as long as the psychological safety was there).
2. Vulnerability: Through music I learnt that to really touch people's hearts you need to connect with and express your own emotions and be willing to risk rejection or disinterest. As leaders in business you have to do this every day to have a chance at genuine followership from your people. Also I experienced how to learn from my mistakes rather than completely shrink from them, and laugh at some of the comedy ones (such as playing loudly at the wrong time when everyone else is quiet!). This definitely helps me to be more open and vulnerable with my clients and create an environment where they feel safe to share their mistakes, emotions, hopes and dreams with me.
3. Discipline: From about age 13 I would come home and practice my flute and piano for a total of 2-2.5 hours every day. As well as doing my homework, playing in the school lacrosse team and all the normal kid things like hanging out with friends. Even when I was tired and didn't want to practice I told myself to just do 10mins and I'd always end up doing a full practice (sometimes just starting is the hardest thing). I took my flute on our family holidays to France and practiced every day (which at one place caused the monkeys in the local zoo to howl along with me!). I devised weekly and monthly practice schedules to make sure every part of my flute technique was honed in on and I didn't just do the bits I enjoyed. The blocking of my time for my priorities and sticking to it day after day encourages me to practice the little details today too, as well as be super productive and boundaried with my work. I don't work weekends and very rarely work evenings because I want that time for my family, friends and my hobbies. If I respect my time then I notice others do too. When I used to lead a team I wanted to role model this to them too. I encourage leaders to be very clear about their priorities - what will you say no to so you can say yes to something else?
4. Performing under pressure: When the moment comes to play a concert or gig you have one chance to make the best music you possibly can. Expectations are high and the margin for error is zero. Even when your heart is racing, your breath is shallow, your fingers are shaking over the keys you have to connect with a deeper calm within you so you can allow the music to sing out. When I stand up in front of a group on a leadership programme today I still connect to myself in this way too, I focus on slowing my breath, relaxing my shoulders, being clear on my message and allowing my voice to come through clearly.
5. Creativity: I've always loved writing music, mostly as a way to connect with emotions that I may not express elsewhere. Writing music is like meditation or therapy for me. I'm not thinking about what to cook for dinner, or worrying about a business meeting, I'm just in flow. I love the problem-solving aspect of finding a melody for my words or stepping outside of the normal chord patterns to find something more unusual. I see how this creative practice comes through in my executive coaching and development programme design work. There's never just one solution to a problem, it's never just A or B, often great things from combining seemingly unconnected stuff together.
6. Resilience: I never gave up. Even when it was hard. Even when I did a mediocre performance and felt huge disappointment. Even when I was told I came 2nd in a solo competition only because I wore jeans instead of a dress (I felt self-conscious about wearing what I deemed to be "girly" things). I'm still angry that the 13 year old me had to be resilient in the face of sexism and yet it's still a reality of my world today so maybe it's useful I had to practice it early on. It also gives me a tiny window of understanding into how other people feel when they are discriminated against, and to now challenge discrimination instead of "sucking it up". I often ask leaders, "who are you an ally for?" because in different situations we all have power and can use that to tackle discrimination.

These skills are often what I help people in organisations to develop. People leaving school or university have often over-indexed on the cognitive aspects of education and passing exams because that's what's rewarded in our society. They've had less time, encouragement and funding to develop their internal selves and the transferable skills that are really what help you at work and in life. Music is one powerful way to do this.

Why else am I writing this article?

I'm angry about how much funding to the arts has been cut by the Government (100% for the next 2 years in Birmingham for example), plus orchestras and musicians are under enormous financial pressures post-Covid, venues are struggling, and Brexit has made it harder for musicians to travel. Youth orchestras are dwindling due to funding cuts and are struggling to find enough players because Music has become a "nice-to-have" part of education.

Paying for private music lessons or buying an instrument is impossible for many parents who are simply focused on making ends meet. Not only do their children miss out on the joy of making music, our whole society is being robbed of the wonderful talents that may forever remain hidden. Plus, they will have less opportunities to develop all of the transferable skills I mentioned making it even harder for them to progress as they'd like in life and work. The ripples go on...

Humanity is facing some huge crises now and the route to navigating them successfully as a human race depends on using these transferable human skills, not just the cognitive, logical and technical skills that still get prioritised for funding. So, what if instead of only prioritising quadratic equations and the periodic table we made sure music was properly valued and pupils supported to study it? How about we give all kids the chance to connect with their emotions in a productive way through making music and learn some critical life skills like teamwork, discipline and creativity and resilience along the way? I think society would be in better shape and I would be less busy as a leadership coach. And I'd be happy about that.

What can you do?

We can't rely on Government to tackle this. We need people and companies to step in and make a difference where you can:

• Check if your local orchestra has a youth scheme then give a one-off donation (Liverpool Youth Orchestra's one is here or contact Sandra Parr )
• Donate to Music For Youth who do great work democratising music access
• Talk to your local school and ask them if you can provide a music bursary to support kids from lower income families to have private lessons
• Go to live music concerts and support performing artists
• Post below if you have other suggestions