What I learned about men's mental health

I had a big blind spot. It’s not uncommon I suppose. We all have them.

As a female practitioner, I realised there was a gap in my understanding when it came to working with my male clients. I knew that the patriarchy and the system negatively impact men and boys, shaming them from expressing emotions, encouraging a stiff upper lip, and discouraging certain traits that are seen as ‘soft.’ This led me to explore how these norms impact men in therapy.

Australian data shows that men are disproportionately affected by mental health struggles, with suicide rates for men being three times higher than for women. In 2022, 75% of all suicides in Australia were men, which highlights the urgent need for better mental health support and intervention.

While I’ve worked with many men, I hadn’t fully grasped the nuances of their experiences, especially around shame, vulnerability, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. To understand this more deeply, I decided to interview six men on This Complex Life: Amal Saleh-Zada , Michael Derby , Simon Rinne , Shannon Molloy , Dr. Tim Sharp and John Flanagan

Each guest brought a unique perspective. Amal [who has an extensive library of analogies he pulls from] used a powerful analogy about emotions being like light entering a prism and scattering into a rainbow illustrating how men’s emotional complexity is often overlooked. Michael, on the other hand, explained how shame is a major barrier that holds men back from seeking help, saying, “Shame can stop men in their tracks. It tells them they’re weak if they ask for help.”

Simon discussed how anger is often the default way men express emotional pain, while Shannon shared his deeply personal story of overcoming trauma and the impact of silence on men’s emotional well-being. Tim, known as Dr. Happy, was transparent about his struggles with depression despite being a public figure in mental health. Lastly, John highlighted the importance of creating environments that encourage men to open up about their feelings.

These conversations deepened my empathy for men’s struggles and the unique barriers they face when seeking help. If there’s one takeaway from this series, it’s that we need to create more spaces for men to share their stories and feel safe doing so.

You can listen to the full series or read the full post for more insights.