??What I learned as a meeting facilitator from being a rugby referee

I recently renewed my World Rugby Match Officials Educator license. As someone who combines professional consulting in infrastructure projects with a career as a rugby referee, I frequently see connections between the two.

The role of a facilitator reminds me of refereeing on the pitch: being neutral, managing complex situations, and keeping the "game" flowing despite arguments and emotions. When individuals work together on something they care about, conflict is unavoidable. Neither a referee nor a facilitator can consistently prevent or eliminate disagreement. A facilitator, like a rugby referee, expects players to follow the rules of fair play and may interfere if someone does something that could cause irreversible injury to another player.

On the rugby pitch, I am surrounded by large, fast, aggressive, and vocal players who are competing directly in front of me. Throughout this, I must remain neutral, calm, and fully engrossed in the game. I monitor potential rule infractions among the 30 players on the pitch simultaneously, but it would be impractical and disruptive to stop the game for every minor offence.

One of the most useful notions I have brought from rugby to meeting facilitation is the concept of "advantage." The game continues after an infraction if the non-offending team gains an advantage. In facilitation, this is equivalent to providing participants the freedom to handle problems or challenges on their own without constant involvement from you. In other words, both a referee and a facilitator are responsible for ensuring that the process runs smoothly and fairly.

However, if something is critical to the team's health and progress, it may merit interrupting the meeting and drawing the attention of the captain of the team.

We provide a variety of rugby formats, including 15-a-side, 7s, 13s, beach rugby, and even snow rugby. Add to this adult and junior rugby. Each style of rugby has its own set of laws and regulations. It is critical to understand how to adapt your refereeing style based on the type of rugby being played.

Now, here are some things I have taken from the rugby pitch to the negotiation room:

• Arrive prepared, properly understanding the rules of the game—what norms, rules of order, and boundaries apply to today's "game"?
• It is difficult to remain cool and impartial while also ensuring that participants can see and hear you. I always give myself time before a meeting to be focused and ready.
• Please bring a notebook and pencil to the meeting. Make a note of any unusual behaviour you notice. It may make sense to continue the meeting, but if the problem does not resolve itself, it will be beneficial to revisit your initial views.
• Bring a water bottle to the meeting. If you are frightened or preoccupied, take a slow drink during your break. It can help you recover control.
• If you truly need to stop the action and call out behaviour or attitudes that are detrimental to the group, do so clearly and calmly from an objective standpoint. Describe your observations precisely. In rugby, this is simpler than in talks. Trust me, as an experienced referee and facilitator...

Remir Mukumov