What I Learned From Reading The Difference Maker

The Difference Maker was probably the first life-changing book I read. I can remember clearly, the day I opened this book…

Far away from home, miles and miles away, where everybody and everything sounded strange. Laying down in my borrowed bed and surrounded by my “adopted” brothers.

It was the year 2014, I just had finished the military boot camp and was feeling like a grown man for the first time.

Although I thought the boot camp did a good job at shaping ourselves as people who were capable of facing any challenge, at the same time, I knew that something wasn`t right with the way I was approaching life.

Maybe, an upbringing issue or lack of knowledge. As most people do, when our current circumstances are not ideal, I started to look into personal development.

I came across John Maxwell`s book by accident, but I guess it wasn’t that much of an accident, if you know what I mean. It was an amazing read that helped me a critical stage where times were tough.

So, it definitely has a special place in my heart.

Your attitude towards failure determines your altitude after failure.  John Maxwell

You probably read the book, if you`re a fan of his work, not sure if it`s the best of the collection but it deeply impacted the way I perceived success and life in general.

So, today I`m sharing with you what I`ve learned back then and what I continue to apply in my life and business today.

I`ll give you my spin on his teachings and share some insights related to the book.

The Power Of Self Image

As John Maxwell says, your self-image has a tremendous impact on your attitude.

Your self-image is the way you perceive yourself. When you look in the mirror you see a physical reflection of your being but that`s not how you see yourself. Your self-image or identity is present in your mind.

How do you explain the fact that some people lose weight and feel good about themselves for a while and all the sudden put on weight again?

Their self-image is not of a fit person, so they do everything they can to come back to the way they perceive themselves. The strongest human need is to remain consistent with the way we perceive ourselves.

Here`s what I found…

One good way to alter your self-image and ultimately create consistent results in your life in by seeking the right associations. This means surrounding yourself with people who can lift you up, positive ones, people who are ahead of you in life, more successful, that is.

Most people have friends that validate them and are basically there to say that everything is ok. I`m not saying you shouldn`t have those friends, I`m saying that the best friends are the ones that make you uncomfortable, that tell you the truth no matter how hard it may seem because they know they`re helping you grow as a person.

If you surround yourself with people that don`t win in life you`ll end up being someone who can`t win.

Habits Will Shape Your Life

John C. Maxwell mentions the subject of bad habits at an early stage in the book. This is so critical because it`s almost impossible to become successful in life or do something extraordinary if you don`t develop the right habits.

Habits will carry you through every setback and disappointment, every rejection or major problem you face.

Even before reading the book and joining the military, I would run every single day preparing myself for the boot camp, there was no place for excuses… not feeling good, bad weather, good weather, not the right shoes, it didn`t matter because I knew it was a good habit to develop if I wanted to get the expected results, even though I hated to run.

Later, it became a pleasant experience and the habit of working out is still engrained in me today because I created the conditions to turn that habit into something that represents who I am.

When a habit turns into who you are and you don`t think about it, it also becomes something you need to do in order to feel good, almost like an addiction, you just can`t stop.

This also happens when someone is very good at what they do, acting based on intuition. That certain skill or ability is so ingrained in them that they don`t even think about it, they just do it.

A salesman who is a master at his craft is a good example.

Problems As Opportunities

One of the biggest insights was realizing that you can always do something about a problem, which is different from a tough situation.

It still surprises me today how people deal with problems, many assume the victim role and say that they can`t do anything about it or that`s someone else to blame.

Nothing happens to you, it only happens for you. This indicates that a problem is no more than an opportunity, either to grow as a person, going in a different direction or it`s simply there to remind you that something needs to change.

I remember when I was sick and tired of letting others control my direction in life. That was a major problem, for sure. Certainly, after thinking about what I would do with my future, an opportunity to start an online business came up and I didn`t hesitate, just went with it.

It really opened my eyes to this concept that Maxwell teaches, focusing on the opportunities rather than the problems will always be the preferable way to approach anything.

Fear Is Just An Illusion

This one really shook me up at the time. I thought that fear was real, actually. Dumbness…

Fear is probably the number one block of people`s success. And with fear comes procrastination, which is another demon.

One of the ways I found to eliminate fear out of the equation was to act on something immediately when that feeling shows up. Let`s say you want to do an important phone call, and for some reason, you`re anxious or afraid.

Handle that fear by reducing the time between your thought and the action.

What ends up happening is that people get scared about something and feed the fear by waiting, either for the right moment, which never comes or overplanning the situation and aggravating that feeling.

Fear prevents so many individuals with potential from creating the lifestyle they want and deserve. Had I stayed in a place of fear, thinking that starting a business was overwhelming, that it was too much work or worried about what others were thinking, I would be miserable today, stuck in the 9 to 5 grind, with no direction, no passion and probably doing something that would not be aligned with my potential.

Failure Is The Front Door To Success

“Failing Forward” is also an amazing book by John Maxwell that goes into more depth on why failure is a critical part of one`s success. For the first 22 years of my life, I thought failure was a bad thing. We are so conditioned by society and our parents to think that if you fail, you`re a loser.

I would advise you to fail, a lot and fast. The faster you can make a mistake the quicker you`ll learn from it. You don`t want to be stuck with a mistake for too long, get over it and move on.

And that`s why failure exists, isn`t it?

For us learn and evolve, to grow ourselves into the person we`re capable of becoming.

You probably know who Thomas Edison is. The guy failed 1000 times before the light bulb came out successfully. Can you imagine how would our world be like if he had quit on the 5th attempt?

Most people today, don`t last that long when trying to achieve something!

Oh yeah…

You and I live in a society where average is tolerated, quitting too early is the norm. Quite frankly, I do believe that one of the most important traits of successful individuals is their ability to stay in the game long after others have quit.

Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it’s almost always due to personal growth.  John Maxwell

The military taught me a lot about resilience, for sure, and Maxwell just confirmed the theory. The river will always beat the rock, persistence is the golden trait of great leaders.

Your attitude is the difference maker, no doubt about it. And it is your biggest asset.

Much success,

Pedro