What I Learned From Losing

I hate losing at anything. Wether it be a game of NBA 2K, checkers, or at any contest big or small. I've always been wired that way since I was a kid. If I came up aganist a video game in a level I couldn't figure out, I got more determined to beat it after each loss. There would be times that I would work so hard to have a perfect attempt at "Around The World" or hit a certain number of corner threes in a row too. After multiple failed attempts, I would finally tell myself, "This is the time you are going to win." Most of the time after I made that statement, I accomplished any goal that came in my way.

I took this mindset into the professional world and had a lot of success in selling, managing political campagins, and coaching sports. After a string of success, I came up to my first professional loss in 2015 while managing a campagin for Congress in the Peoria area. I took loss very hard and left the campaign world for awhile. That time off led to a crazy string of events that started with having a radio show and ended by joining a local high school team as an Assistant Basketball Coach.

The team was in a rebuilding mode and I was brought on to help look at the overall data behind how we played. My role was to teach the rest of the coaching staff and players on how we could improve based upon our tendencies and how our opponents played too. All of it was right down to the smallest detail.

I failed at this role in so many ways. During my two years there we went 18-50. It's not a record that I'm proud of, but let me tell you it taught me more than going 50-18 ever would have. There was one stretch though where we went on a 21 game losing streak. That was the toughest stretch that I've ever had in my carrer. Going on that kind of streak messes with your head. It makes you think that no matter what you do that you aren't good enough to lead this team. You begin to think that you can't do a single thing right. Finally, it makes you angry and just a sad person to be around overall.

While we were praying for that win to come, rethinking our offense/defense, and blaming everyone other ourselves, we weren't focused on the one thing that mattered...our players. They weren't bought in to our system, didn't beleive we were there for them, and we didn't connect with them the way we should have.

One night after the 15th loss, all the coaching staff went back to our offices and said enough is enough. We realized our mistakes, took ownership and began fixing everything we messed up. We started talking to our players more and building meaningful relationships with them. Also we all made it a rule to drive the bus with the players to continue building our connections. I think you can guess what happened next. The players bought in and we kept getting better. The losses still came, but the gaps got smaller and the hope started to appear.

The losing streak finally came to an end in a very suprising way. We were headed into the conference tourney as the 7th seed and had to play against the 2nd. A team that beat us by 20 just 3 weeks before. I'm happy to say that we kicked their tails and it was the game that broke our enitre season open. We made a run in the tourney where we finshed third and ended the season winning 7 of our last 10 games.

What was my "this time you'll win" lesson? You can be a great leader, but if you don't have the support, relationships, and trust built with your team, you have NOTHING. Those two seasons taught me not only how to build a strong team but also that if you don't communicate and continue to build your partnership, you can lose everything.

Kobe Bryant said it best, "The agongy of defeat is as low as the joy of winning is high." If you are in a rut, learn why you are losing, fix it, and let that hard time be your motivation to never get back there again.