What I Learned from Lexi the Horse about Work Relationships

My family recently returned from a dude ranch vacation in Colorado. Each of our family members was assigned a horse for the week. My horse Lexi was the alpha or “boss mare” of the herd and she was just plain mean—not to me, but to the other horses.?

You see, every herd, whatever the size, has a pecking order. Horses at the top of the hierarchy are considered dominant while those at the bottom are submissive. Horses in the middle simply go along for the ride. In the wild, the dominant horses get first access to resources like water and food while others wait their turn. In domestic environments, the alphas or dominants sometimes "direct" or bully the other horses.

Whenever another horse would get too close to Lexi, she would bite it — like my younger daughter’s horse Peach who was new to the herd. Lexi didn’t like my older daughter’s horse either; or my husband’s for that matter. When Lexi bit, the other horse would kick, Lexi would buck, and someone would run the risk of falling off their horse. ?

When we loped (faster than a trot but not quite a gallop), Lexi would get irritated if anyone got too close to her. So most of the time, I was riding alone in the line, separated from the other horses.

Being apart from the group gave me time to think while I admired the beautiful Colorado River, Byers Canyon, sagebrush, and wildflowers While Lexi was a bit of a challenge to ride, she was a good teacher. Here’s what I learned: ?

• Being an alpha can be lonely.
• It’s better to play nice and enjoy each other’s company. ?
• Being dominant is a lot of work because you’re constantly on alert.
• Lashing out is dangerous and can result in others getting hurt. ?
• It’s okay to let others run beside you, or even pass you.
• Everything is not a competition.

I’ve spent several decades loping and sometimes galloping through my professional career. I’ve probably (figuratively) bitten others and gotten irritated when people got too close. But with age comes wisdom and maturity — if you’re paying attention, learning and growing.

I think of myself as a team player who enjoys seeing others move on to bigger and better things. I’m genuinely happy when others succeed, especially my female friends and associates who, based on my nearly 40 years' experience, have had to work harder and struggle more than they should.

So, when I can, I try to help others so they can get a head start, learn faster, and skip some of the mistakes I made. Hopefully I can save them a little of the embarrassment, heartache, and backtracking I experienced.

How You Can Empower Yourself and Others (No Horseback Riding Necessary)

FIND A MENTOR

Ask someone you work with or someone outside of your company that you respect to be your mentor. I've found mentors and mentored others that I've met through LinkedIn — many of whom I've never met in person! Or find a more formal or structured mentorship program offered by your company or industry.

For several years I’ve been a mentor in the Empowering Women Mentorship Program (EWMP) which was expertly designed by Kathy Jo Van (KJ Company) and Stacey Felzer (Chord Marketing Services) for women in the electrical distribution industry. It’s been fun, rewarding, and educational. If your company can sponsor an up-and-coming woman in the electrical distribution industry, I highly recommend it. You can learn more about this program here: https://www.empoweringwomenmentorshipprogram.com/

ENROLL IN A TRAINING PROGRAM

Larger companies and many industries have some sort of leadership training program. If not, check out Dale Carnegie, Six Sigma, or another independent program.

The National Association of Electrical Distributors (NAED) Leadership Development Program, a 12-month curriculum specifically designed for developing leaders in the electrical distribution industry. Learn more at: https://www.naed.org/leadership

RETAIN THE SERVICES OF A COACH OR CONSULTANT

Just as there are personal fitness coaches to get your body in shape, there are business coaches who will help you get your professional career, department, or business in shape. A company I recently worked with had a management consultant who met regularly with their key leaders; and they hired me as a subject matter expert to work specifically with their marketing team.

If your marketing team leader or members need coaching or help with strategy, planning, budgeting, process improvement, brand development, and more — or your executive team needs a better understanding of marketing and how it supports the entire company and individual departments, let’s talk. ?

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You can reach Katrina at [email protected] or 217-721-1679. Learn more at [email protected] or on her LinkedIn profile at https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/katrinaolson/ .