What I learned from Emmitt!

Whew, it’s been good to have the last couple of days to recover from the holidays, take some thinking and planning time for 2018 and reflect on all the things that happened last year. I just got back from visiting my daughter in Iowa for the Christmas holidays, spending some quality time with my newest grandson who turned 9 months old while my wife and I were there.

We were with my daughter when she gave birth to this little angle back in March of last year, her first child, out of many I’m guessing she wants to have. Being with her as she gave birth (no I wasn’t allowed in the room when the birth happened, but I was in the room right up until that moment), was one of the greatest experiences I have had in my life.

When he was 3 months old we got to enjoy some time with him when she brought him home to Georgia for a few days and my other daughter flew in from New York to share this time ( she was also there for the birth as were the other siblings). It was rewarding to see them together, sharing this newest member of our family and feeling the love between them.  

Thanks to Steve Jobs we have been able to be in his life through Facetime, seeing him start to crawl, sitting in his high chair eating finger food and many other great experiences. What a difference six month can make, he has really grown in his capabilities, thanks in no small part to having such a great mom, if I do say so myself.

Two of the best things I got to do with him over the holidays were to rock him to sleep in his room for his naps and bedtime. The other was sitting with him on the living room floor as we both explored a small table toy he got for Christmas that offered many buttons, small doors, each making a musical note or tune when operated.

Each time we played with this toy he would crawl up to the legs of the small table, raise his little arm until his fingers could touch the top of the table then he would maneuver his knee so he could pull himself up on both knees, he would then, using his other hand on the table top, lean into the table as he tried to pull himself to his feet. Amazing to see the will and determination he demonstrated as he purposefully attacked this task.

As he went through each step I wanted to put my hand on his little body and lift him up but experience has taught me I would not be helping him, he needed to accomplish this to develop his eye and hand coordination, to build the strength in his little legs and arms while making the connections in his developing brain of how he accomplished this feat so he could have this experience to solve future problems.  

I did offer one assistance after he struggled a couple of times to stay on his little feet, moving from holding his balance on the table to using his hands to maneuver the pieces of the toy, transferring his balance to his little feet, sometimes falling to the floor and having to repeat the process again.

Sitting on the floor next to him I put my leg just under his little butt, right by his legs but not touching his legs, this was so when the strength of his legs started to give way he would fall in a sitting position on grandpa’s leg, he could then continue playing and when motivated he could stand again to reach across the table toy to explore other entertaining functions. With this little assistance we could spend much more time playing together before he wore out, both him and me.

As the days went by he got better, faster and stronger playing with this toy. On our last day there I walked into the living room to find him standing at the toy table, lifting the lid on one piece (finding some Cheerios I had put in the container underneath the lid as a surprise for him) and balancing himself, by himself.

As my wife and I drove back to Atlanta (yes, a long drive but that’s how we roll), thinking about my little buddy I wondered if I were as patient, understanding and supportive of my team and those I work with across the country as I found myself with him.

Had I been this way with all my kids while they were growing up, if so was this a natural reaction or something I learned over time (so my first son didn’t get the best of me? Oh well, he turned out darn good), or have I just learned to appreciate the effort it takes to grow, tackle a new task and the importance of having caring support, the ability to make mistakes when there is someone there to help me through it.

I like to think that making a difference really comes from being with someone, not controlling them, supporting them not telling them what to do, allowing them to make mistakes without blame, telling them where to get the answer not “what” the answer is.

I think caring "about" someone, that is creating an environment where they can flourish, grow and be their best might be better than caring “for” someone. Being the type of person always telling them what to do, how to do it then taking it personal when they don’t do what I want them to do, the way I want them to do it.

I have trained thousands of people over the years and accepting who someone is and what they are willing to do is often the best teacher they can have. My grandson will develop and grow just fine. He has a mother and father who love him, gives him the space he needs to succeed and yes make mistakes.

I am proud of my daughter, my grandson and……. yes a little proud of myself.

Here’s wishing you all the success you are willing to work for in 2018, I’d like to wish you more but it goes against my nature.